The Smarmy Creep of Change comes up with a clever vote-catching move

Published: March 6, 2008 at 11:49am

Joseph Abela posted this comment further along. I’m highlighting it because it’s so tragicomic. Lions of Change, Pigs of Change, DNA Mangion, Jason Robin, and now, the Smarmy Creep of Change – Latin lover Silvio Parnis, hair gelled within an inch of its life, handing out synthetic roses at the school gates in Tarxien. It just gets better and better (or worse and worse).

This morning I took my nephew and niece to Tarxien Primary School and found quite a circus there. Silvio Parnis, his hair sculptured solid – qieshu mrewwha lest ghal zifna bil-kostum fi Pjazza Repubblika – fresh as a daisy and looking delirious with excitement, was handing out imitation red roses to all the mummies and grannies taking their kids to school. I am quite sure he was living an internal George Clooney moment. Such a delirium of grandiosity as cheesy Silvio struck the pose: ‘U din ghalik sinjura…Int taf li jien qatt ma tlabtek xejn, izda haqqni nitolbok il-vot ghal nhar is-Sibt. Ahseb fija.’

All the women were dazed and confused at such a demonstration of gallantry. Many were caught without their best finery as track-suits and leggings were quite the fashion that morning. Many thought it was St. Valentine’s all over again. Others thought it’s Jum il-Mara already. Others just appeared numb at the sheer stupidity of the act. Many commented on the cheapness of the made-in-China rose. Some children cried ‘ghax riedu fjura ghat-teacher’. But the real nugget came when I went to buy my newspapers, and at the stationer’s there were two women with roses in their hands.

Woman 1:”U le ta, imma dan genn. Inzied fl-imbarazz jonqosni. Kelli skoss flower arrangements u kollox tajjart ‘l hemm! Ara, issa kif ser nghidlu lil Tony tieghi li Silvio gieni bir-rose fejn l-skola.”

Woman 2: “Aw u kemm ihossu! Jien hasadni gie bil-fjura. Madonna, ghidt jigu bil-video go wicci dalghodu – hrigt qisni il-mignuna mid-dar. Mur fehmu li m’ghandhiex grazzja mieghu daqs kemm narah falz. U kif kien baqa bl-storja tad-dar tax-xiha li seraq?”

Woman 1: “U fejn naf! Xbajt nisma paroli miz-zewgt nahat. Aw, ha nghidlek – hu u Jason min jippoza l-aktar. L-ghoqda ta’ l-ingravata qisha daqs dinja t-tnejn li huma. Balla n**k.”

Woman 2:”Isma, helu hux dak li beka hemm tan-Nigret (Mistra?). U iva, dak ta’ ghajnejh ta’ qattus, hemm – ta’ Gonzi….”.

Woman 1: “Jeffrey Pullicino Orland? Hiiiiii, u zgur li gustuz!”

Eat your heart out, Silvio and Jason (not that Jason would bother much about this one). All the ladies want to cuddle Jeffrey and make him stop crying. Funny how long it’s taken some ‘men’ to find out that a single red rose inevitably has the opposite effect of that intended. Single red roses are associated in women’s minds with publicity stunts, cheap tricks, cheating husbands and importuning gypsies. Enough said.




7 Comments Comment

  1. ‘U din ghalik sinjura…Int taf li jien qatt ma tlabtek xejn, izda haqqni nitolbok il-vot ghal nhar is-Sibt. Ahseb fija.’

    I HATE THAT AHSEB FIJA. What the hell!

    This is the only sentence I believe that it was really said.

  2. James De Giorgio says:

    Victor Laiviera must already be celebrating, and I don’t blame you vic, coz the MLP have turned out to be really really lucky with this Harry thing.

    [Moderator – Victor will not be celebrating this Sunday because he has asked me out on a date. Haven’t you Vic, my little bundle of fun?]

  3. Shannon Andrews says:

    Please tell me that this is just a “montatura”!!! Unfortunately my son is a part of the “hamalli” and “marmalja” clan and does not attend the Tarxien Primary School. How desperate can one get!!

  4. Joseph Micallef says:

    If the press release just issued by the Police Commissioner is as has been reported, and Dr. Vassallo never gave the whole version of the story he should RESIGN IMMEDIATELY.

  5. Marku says:

    Dear Daphne, I can confirm to you that Silvio Parnis is a piece of work. Many years ago when he was a Health Assistant, I was then working as a clerk in the Department of Health. He called me one time over a mistake I had made in his overtime payment. In the course of the conversation, he let me know (not too subtly) that he would hate to have to call “Miss Moran” should I not be able to take care of this right away. This was late 1996 or early 1997 – a few months before the 1997 general election. “Miss Moran” was the sister of then-minister Vincent Moran.

  6. Daphne Caruana Galizia says:

    Marku – if Labour win, he’ll worm his way in as parliamentary secretary for the elderly, so that he can go to work on even more old ladies than he does today.

  7. David Friggieri says:

    Thumbs up for all the wonderful character sketches, if nothing else. Every passing minute, Malta’s looking more and more like a Disneyland parade of comic-strip characters: Boob-Job Jason, Chicken-Run Alf, The Lion King of Change, Cry-Baby Jeff, The Smary Creep tal-Bidla. And the worst villain of them all – Savonarola (He of the Hooked Nose and Permanent Grimace). Grrrrrr!!!!

    Smart Malta? More like Disneyland in the Mediterranean if you ask me.

Leave a Comment