Shoulders grown too brawny for your dress? Snip out a hole.

Published: July 28, 2015 at 7:47pm

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I had a friend who used to swim at the National Pool every day but stopped when she noticed that her arms, which already had a tendency to be a little on the large size, were becoming full-on brawny.

The spouse of the prime minister has solved the problem of her swim-the-channel upper arms and shoulders a little more pragmatically. She’s taken a pair of scissors and snipped nice big holes in the shoulders of her wrap to accommodate the brawn.

And no, I’m not joking. Those really are scissor-holes. Somebody literally got hold of a pair of scissors, placed the dress flat and sliced through the double layer (you can tell I can sew there) in exactly the place where her shoulders need to push through.

If you reconstruct the missing bits visually, you can see that the upper arms and shoulders wouldn’t fit without those holes.

So now the big question is: WHY DIDN’T SHE WEAR SOMETHING ELSE?

Transparent white with a bikini top underneath to avoid the ‘bra on show’ problem was never going to be a great idea anyway. But with those holes scissored out of the shoulders, it goes from inappropriate to full-on weird.