Men rape in all sorts of circumstances and for different reasons. They may be psychopaths, people suffering from paranoia and/ or having power issues concerning women, drunkards, youths involved with a group of young men looking for some excitement in their lives, men who’ve come to think that a woman who goes out on a date with them owes them something at the end of the evening, violent husbands, abusive fathers……the list is endless.

I am hardly one to underestimate my own sex. I judge my own sex, not on our ability to fight off a filthy rapist, but on the fact that women have proved again and again that they are equal to the men who have tried to dominate them since time immemorial. It may, on the other hand be, that due to the fact that you are a peace-loving, gentle bloke, you underestimate the callousness of certain choice members of your sex.

No, a woman who senses danger will not always fight like there’s no tomorrow. Many women who have been raped describe themselves feeling petrified with fear and unable to fight back. In violent rape, by all means a weapon may be used, but a man can do enough damage with his own hands if you want me to spell it out to you, and most women know this, and remember this in what is certainly a pretty terrifying moment.

The reason women don’t fight back is basically that they think that they will be killed during the attack, and feel completely over-powered, but physically and emotionally. If you’re not trained to fight back, it can be difficult to do so. And this is not something I’m making up, but what women who have experienced the ordeal say.

The Swedish girl was stupid and naive, and no I would not do what she did, but there again getting drunk and acting stupidly is not against the law, whereas forcing oneself sexually on someone else who is specifically stating that she does not want to go that far, is.

Here again it is good to point out that this Swedish girl was raped by one man, who was aided and abetted by another (very noble), who most probably held the girl down. Do you still think a weapon is needed in similar cases? Would a woman be, do you think, in a position to fight off two men? What about gang rape?

Maybe one should examine in greater detail why certain men can’t take no for an answer, and why some of them feel that a woman’s wishes do not carry the same weight as do theirs.

During the Bangladesh war and under the Taliban regime in Afghanistan, the warring Islamic soldiers were given in advance, papers by their religious leaders, with written permission to contract “temporary” marriages with the female victims they would be ritually raping in the course of the war as the need arose. That way they would not be committing any un-Islamic crime punishable by death.

And I don’t think that men walk around thinking “Hmmm, so who shall I rape today?” unless they are psychopaths, but that’s a different story. I think that an “unarmed and aggressive” man raping innocent young ladies is a bit too cliched.

I can understand your fear of the situation. Rape is beyond “disgusting”, but you severely underestimate members of your own sex.

P.S. You have forgotten to mention the “ritual” rape of invading soldiers in your rant, too.

My point is that women – irrespective of whether or not they practice judo – are stronger than most people would imagine. A woman who senses danger will definitely fight like there’s no tomorrow. And I repeat that unless the aggressor is either twice her size or knocks her unconscious or threatens her with a weapon, there is no way he is going to get his way.

All the factors you mention are natural reactions to such a situation, obviously, but they don’t remove the fact that if a woman at least tries to fight back she will get raped.

Nobody’s saying that ALL girls who get raped are “asking for it”, but some people like to put themselves in dangerous situations. Take the example of the Swedish girl who went down to the beach, drunk with two unknown men? Would you do that? Isn’t that reckless behaviour of the highest degree? Of course, she shouldn’t have been raped, but as the saying goes “jekk tilghab man-nar, tinharaq”

Weight for weight. I don’t know exactly how Judo is played. Do people play opponents of the same weight? Do you think that, in cases of rape, this applies? Does the rapist choose victims of his same weight? Indeed, does a rapist choose a Judo wrestler if he can help it? Don’t you think that a female Judo wrestler is stronger and more attuned to fighting back than your average lady?

Don’t you make any allowances for the element of surprise in the situation of a physical and sexual attack on someone? What do you think goes through a woman’s mind when she is raped? Does she possibly feel afraid? May it come to pass that she is so afraid for her life that she is afraid to fight back? Can you imagine the thoughts racing through her mind? Have you ever heard of the flight or fight reaction? Can you imagine the panic? Can you imagine being over-powered by someone who is much stronger than you are? Can you imagine the pain?

Has anyone you know ever been raped? If yes, have you asked her whether she think a woman ever “asks for it”? Have you asked her how she felt during the attack? After the attack? Did she enjoy it? Did she feel over-powered? Did she feel pertrified? Was a kick between the legs enough to put off the aggressor? Don’t you think an unarmed, but aggressive, man can threaten a woman and rape her, maybe even hurt her, if he has set his mind to it? Have you ever heard of murder taking place without any weapon to speak of?

Should such a crime as rape be trivialised because you and others harbour the false idea that all women can fight back as efficiently as a Judo wrestler, or can even put a very aggressive man off by aiming a kick between the legs?

Think!

If a man needs an accomplice to keep down a woman, then you can bet your bottom dollar that the woman was resisting what has now become an attack. You can also bet your bottom dollar that the man doing the act would have noticed that the woman he is forcing himself upon DOES NOT WANT what he is doing.

If he goes ahead and continues with what he’s doing, it’s rape alright, no matter what brought the two together, how they reached the beach or the bed or whatever, how drunk they were etc.,

Helen Mirren admits, in her interviews, in which she generally delights in uncovering the more unsavoury areas of her past (drug-taking, shop-lifting, sex), that she was at times locked in a room and sex forced on her, and that she felt frightened. If that does not reek of rape, apart also from obstructing a person’s freedom against their will, then I don’t know what is.

What you think may start out as a date rape, does eventually end up a violent rape – every time. Locking people in rooms, pinning them down to sumbit to one’s wishes, getting assistants to pin down the victim, getting one’s way with a person just because one is stronger, even the very fact that one insists that one’s will should win over the victim’s – this is all about the misuse of power. One may not use overt physical violence (bumps and bruises), but one may employ psychological violence to achieve one’s aims, and one must not underestimate the power of the latter.

The fact that a person is stupid, naive, drunk, confused enough to get him/ herself into a sticky situation, does not give others the right to abuse that person. In fact one has the moral duty to protect that person rather than to mess her up further. More despiccable is the person who preys on these people, for the very reason that they are more vulnerable at the time.

[Daphne – Date rape is about sex. Real rape is about violence and hatred of women. That’s the key difference on which sentencing should hang. Looks like nobody was doing much thinking in thisn trial, least of all the defence lawyer. Shame.]

He was probably doing it for the greater glory of Sweden