Because I was holding hands with my partner in a rare moment of public intimacy.

“My favourite homosexual friend of all refuses to define himself as ‘gay’, to go to ‘gay’ events, or behave as other ‘gays’ would expect him to do.”

My partner and I also are not into the ‘gay scene’ and live and behave as any straight couple do. But who am I to judge what the lifestyle of other people ought to be? I would relish the chance to have the rights and responsibilities of ‘mainstream’ society. So really we are after the same thing.

“Worse still, there are homosexual men who will not come out of that damned closet because they are afraid of how others will take it.”

That says an awful lot of how they perceive society to behave if they do ‘come out’. I agree it’s a crying shame. Half the people on TV and in the entertainment industry are gay, and yet they are not ‘out’ to the public (explicitly, rather than in a ‘camp’ implying sort of way). Not to mention members of the political class. A big problem for young gay men and women in the early years of discovering their sexuality is that they have no local role models to look up to or aspire to.

In my professional life I have come across many young gay men and women on the cusp of discovering their sexuality, and undergoing considerable trauma, psychologically and more, because of the expectations and pressures of society, yes even in this day and age. So yes, I aspire to the ‘nirvana’ of one’s sexuality just not mattering and being no more relevant than, say, one’s eye colour, but I still consider it naive to think that we have reached that stage of social development, especially in Malta’s context.

The campaign and aspiration for homosexual equality in no way negates or takes precedence over the right of women to equal status, respect and opportunity. I recognise that society in Malta is extremely patriarchical and indeed misogynistic in parts. I would also be one of the first in line to support the rights of married couples to get divorced. I recognise that this will occur before civil partnerships are legislated for.

But the harm and damage done by discrimination and prejudice against gays and lesbians, all the way from the school ground to the work place, cannot be simply dismissed and denied, as you are apt to do. Indeed the vehemence of your denial, in the context of evidence to the contrary, is most peculiar.

May I also gently point out that I look and act as ‘straight’ as the next man, so have not been ‘asking for it’ in attracting any opprobrium. And even if I did not, that would be no justification for any discrimination.

[Daphne – Why do people shout ‘pufta’ and ‘faggot’ at you if you look ‘straight’? They either don’t, or you don’t. The vehemence of my denial comes from the fact that I am sick to the gills of hearing homosexual men whining that they are discriminated against and meet with prejudice. That may be true among the generation that even believes a woman’s place is in the home, but it’s not true with anyone else. The nature of the field in which I work means that very many of the people with whom I work are homosexual, men and women, and they meet with no discrimination at all, nor do they have any complaints of this nature. They are treated normally because they behave normally – in other words, no chips and no hang-ups. It’s the chips and the hang-ups that bring out resentment in people and not your sexuality. My favourite homosexual friend of all refuses to define himself as ‘gay’, to go to ‘gay’ events, or behave as other ‘gays’ would expect him to do. He lives a normal life with a long-term partner and does normal things mainly with heterosexual people, because, as he puts it, you don’t choose your friends on the basis of your sexuality. Sadly, homosexuals complain about being ghettoised, but then go to great length to ghettoise themselves, with special clubs, special events, special this and special that. What’s wrong with being part of mainstream society, for God’s sake? Does it hurt? Is it too boring (there, I agree)? Worse still, there are homosexual men who will not come out of that damned closet because they are afraid of how others will take it. So those others get the blame, because it’s easier to blame others than to come to terms with the fact that one is a coward.]

So far I’ve only commented on the ‘50% AIDS’ thread. My last opinion in there was censored too, but I would not contest censorship in this blog. [Daphne – I don’t censor opinions. I edit them. I’m an editor, not a censor – or in blog terms, a moderator.]

Apart from clarifying this, I have no intention of commenting here unless directly or indirectly invoked. [Daphne – Like an evil spirit, do you mean?]

This, to avoid confusion. [Daphne – I don’t think there was any confusion. You should carry on calling yourself Sandro Pace. There are lots of people on this blog with very similar names.]

Daphne are you living on the same small island I am? Here are just a few personal anecdotes:

-Being berated and threatened with the police by a neighbour after holding hands and hugging my partner-all in the privacy of our own balcony! Then putting up with the drama (who says straights can’t be bigger drama queens?) of him erecting an apartheid screen between our respective balconies to stop him ever seeing manifestations of our love and affection.

-It is currently perfectly legal in Malta to discriminate against gays or lesbians in the provision of any ‘service’ such as hostelry or seeing a professional, purely on the grounds of their sexuality.

-My partner being head hunted for a Head of Department job with a private company, all details of starting and time-tabling being given, only to be rejected at the 11th hour by the Managing director because of ‘technicalities’. We subsequently discovered on the grapevine (Malta is a small place) that this person is noted for his homophobic comments.

-Being spat at and taunted several times with the disparaging words ‘fag’ and ‘pufta’.

-Being denied full entitlement of the local pension or social security systems in spite of us paying our fair share of taxes, there being no local provision of any form of civil partnership.

-Should my partner enter hospital I would have no automatic next of kin rights as regards visiting, or indeed be entitled to any right to be involved in discussions regarding treatment or prognosis.

-Should I die then my partner would not be exempt from having to pay death duties, an exemption which would be available to straight married couples.

Both my partner and I enjoy professional careers, so we are better placed than most to stand up for ourselves and our rights. But if the above is a small snapshot of our own personal experience, it strongly challenges your assertion that there is no persecution or discrimination in Malta.

[Daphne – I have been through all of this on several occasions with homosexuals other than yourself who think that homosexuals are discriminated against in Malta. The homophobic insults of a few private individuals can in no way be deemed to constitute discrimination. I am insulted on a regular basis. It doesn’t make me feel discriminated against. For every neighbour who erects a screen there are 10,000 people who don’t give a damn. For the last 25 years at least I have not seen a homosexual being taunted or spat at. I don’t know in which circles you move. None of the homosexual men or women I know have similar stories to recount. Of course, if you dress to attract attention, then you’re going to get it. The same goes for women who dress like tarts – same difference. The other examples you mention are not cases of discrimination at all. I cannot understand why homosexuals believe they are special cases, and in the same breath say that they don’t want to be treated like special cases. There are far, far more heterosexual couples who cannot marry and who have no rights over each other’s property and pensions than there are homosexual couples in the same position. Do you honestly believe that a country with no divorce legislation is going to rush to introduce civil partnerships for homosexuals before it legislates for divorce? Give it a rest. Or join the campaign for divorce, because there is no way on earth you are going to get your civil partnership before heterosexuals get divorce – which you will then need too, once you have a civil partnership. Heterosexual couples have been enduring this situation for generations before openly homosexual couples came along and began making their demands. As for discrimination – what can I say? If you’re a man, homosexual or not, you can never understand the discrimination suffered by women throughout the ages. A man can hide his homosexuality. A woman can’t hide her gender.]

Is your comment meant to be satirical or are you truly serious?

[Daphne – He’s serious. I’ve had to delete his every comment since, because they were so crazy I couldn’t even sub them, and I don’t want this turning into the comments-board of a certain newspaper. Then he sent in another one: “the snobbish pig censures my blog bla bla bla.”]

The MRA specifically terminated his contract due to a ‘breach of confidentiality’. There quite clearly was no such breach in this regard. If they had other reasons to terminate his contract they should have spelt them out, rather than hiding behind this non sequitur. And what does his being gay have anything to do with it? Or are you implying that all gays are ‘drama queens’? A little less stereotyping would do rational arguement a power of good.

[Daphne – Being gay has nothing to do with it. Being a hysterical drama queen does. I imagine his contractual employers just didn’t know which fuse he’d blow next.]

[Daphne – Of course homosexuals are not persecuted and discriminated against in Malta! For heaven’s sake! Name one incidence.]