Apologies for my tardy replies. Was otherwise occupied.

Herr Leo, ich wünsche Dir auch viele schöne Grüße aus Wien. To rephrase what Helmut Kohl once said to Maggie Thatcher, I assume I can call you you.

What I can say about the difference between German German and Austrian (Viennese) German is this: before I came over here I went to the German-Maltese Circle to start learning German. It was useful for the written word but when it came to trying to understand what they speak, well, it was more or less a waste of money. Kloa.

Dery, better to become a coffee than a sausage, I say.

Daphne/Dery. Yes, it’s the second conditional. Yes, it shows that the speaker is talking about something extremely unlikely to happen. The crucial thing here is to use the past simple for the ‘if’ clause, not because this demonstrates a past event but precisely to show that this is extremely unlikely to happen. Both ‘If I won’ and ‘If I were to win’ are perfectly correct grammatically. To me ‘If I were to win’ shows a soupcon more consideration of the possibility of winning by the speaker (this would be clear with emphasis on the ‘were’), whilst ‘If I won’ is more of a throwaway and there’s no consideration because the speaker clearly believes it is virtually impossible for him/her to win.

Again, Dery is right to say that both ‘if I was’ and ‘if I were’ are correct, or at least acceptable, nowadays. My grammar reference book (Parrott), on this point says ‘some people consider it incorrect to use ‘was’ after ‘if’.

Par for the course as far as you are concerned – when losing the argument, get personal. Fortunately (for me, not so much for you) I have a very thick skin.

[Daphne – I haven’t lost any argument, chavs. And I’m not getting personal. I’m just saying that by the time you get to my great age, you’ve learned the limited range of character types, how they behave and how to handle them. You’re not trying to win an argument against me. You’re trying to beat me down, because you’re a classic, textbook male pittma.]

As far as I can see,. you are the one who is using sloppy (liquid, in fact) language to remain in denial – and avoid having to face the fact that the Maltese electorate assigned four out of six seats to the LP and two to the PN.

[Daphne – What a tiresome pittma you are. I hope you’re not married. If you are, then breakfast with you must be really trying. Somebody who is not married to you would have left by now. That aside, it is not the electorate cannot ‘assign’ seats which do not exist. You know you are wrong, and you are not going to keep at this until I succumb because the facts are on my side. So off you go to browbeat the woman in your life, because in my extensive experience, men like you almost invariably select a woman they can preach at, but then find the ones they CAN’T preach at far more interesting. Scoot.]

Ma nibdewx, guys.

[Daphne – Oh please. I suppose he means the way his sister was a ‘superior magistrate for Gozo’ some years ago, which is why she ended up being reported to the Commission for the Administration of Justice and now, the Police Commissioner.]

Tim, I take it that you teach English. Have you ever met the confusing and ultimately hilarious statement by German speakers who tell you “I become a coffee please.”?

The German speakers here will understand why Germans with poor command of English say such a thing.

Exactly what I was thinking…..

I think that “If I were to win…..” and ” If I was to win…. ” are nowadays considered both correct but “If I was… ” is a little bit less formal and more colloquial.

The “were” in “If I were..” is part of what is called the subjunctive mood. It is present in many languages but it is really a vestigial structure in English… like the 5 sacral vertebrae at the end of the human spine.

For the time being, he is just an MEP-Wannabe. It even rhymes.