@Michael Camilleri LIKE….

Dery, you’re truly boring.

Judging by his fondling right hand, looks like Ronnie’s attempting an upgrade.

I’ve had it ten years and still makes me chuckle.

Please make up your own jokes. Don’t just copy stuff from your inbox.

Can anyone confirm or negate this?

[Daphne – You’re right, but that’s how errors of mispronunciation enter the language as errors of spelling. We’re back to arkotta again. Haz-Zabbar is actually Hal Zabbar, but there you go.]

Speaking of upgrades, eighteen months ago I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2 which I’d used for years without any trouble.
However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off. To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is also incompatible with several other applications, such as Lads Night Out 3.1, Football 2 and Playboy 6.1.

Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better.
A shareware beta-programme, Party Girl 2.1 which I tried, had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

Sensing a way out, I then upgraded to Fiancée 1.0 only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded (at great cost) to Wife 1.0, which I reluctantly agreed to because, whilst Wife 1.0 tends to use up all ‘my’
available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSeex Plus and Cleanhouse 2000.

Shortly after this upgrade however I then discovered that Wife 1.0 can be very unstable and costly to run. For example, any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0’s memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgot about them. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary Explorer and E-mail porn filter, and can, without warning, launch Photostrop and Whingezip! These latter products have no help files and I have to try and guess what the problem is myself. Additional costly problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring Shoe Shop Browser for new attachments and also Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week.

Wife 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child processes that also drains my resources.
It also conflicted with some of the new games I wanted to try, stating that they are an illegal operation. When Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT programme it often crashes or runs the system dry.
Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up called Mother-in-Law, which can’t be turned off.

Recently I’ve attempted to try Mistress 2000, but there could be problems, a friend has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects the presence of Mistress 2000 it tends to delete all my MS Money files before un-installing itself.

What if they send the same person from TM who did them originally?

I see that you left out a bit of my comment. Doesn’t matter – I have got used to that with you. I know that you are very good at arguing in writing and really I would hire you if I wanted someone to do this sort of thing for me. So I will never say that you are not good at what you do.

I do not agree with you when you say that the ONLY measure of a website’s success is the number of hits. This is because it depends what a particular website tries to achieve.

[Daphne – Dery, I enjoy these debates but sometimes I find them tiring. I really, really cannot stand the way that your typical Maltese person does not acknowledge the fact that his or her opinion is not equally valid to that of a professional in the field. It is a mentality that Xarabank has celebrated with the most spectacular success. You and I are not equals in this discussion. This is my world, the world in which I work and make my living, and it is not yours. Therefore, I know what I’m talking about and you don’t. I do not hector doctors about medicine or claim superior knowledge about genetics to people who work in researching the human genome. While I will happily argue and debate with my peers about the media and communications, I feel more than a little odd doing the same with you.]

A foreign colleague tells me that her company’s website gets a few dozen hits a week, but it is extremely specialised and what matters to her is what people do after they enter the website.

[Daphne – An example of what I spoke about above: the main clue being ‘foreign’.]

As a businessman what she is interested in is what people DO after they read what is in her site.

[Daphne – Dery, ‘she’ can’t be a businessMAN. Secondly, you are confusing apples and pears through lack of knowledge. Sites which sell things (like your friend’s) are assessed differently to sites which don’t sell things (like this one). But always, the more hits, the more success. If your friend is getting X business from a few hits, then it stands to reason that she will get exponentially more business from an increase in hits, though that increase will not be proportionate.]

The porn site that you and I refer to for example, I presume, wants people to part with some of their money. But what is the purpose of your website? If it is to put across the message that labour should not be elected than number of hits is a good measure of your blog’s success and that is why I sent the original message saying that I could not see the point of posts of yours with swear words written on a bus stop.

[Daphne – The purpose of my website is to entertain people while entertaining myself. It’s pointless writing unless people read what you write. Also, it got me a whole new readership after 21 years in the game when others have long since faded away. How did I work this out and how did I work out how to do it? Bingo – see above.]

PS I do not have a preoccupation with under age girls. It is a subject which caught my attention recently because it illustrates how the law can be an ass, the type of Justice minister we are lumbered with and for another reason that I made you aware of in a private message.

[Daphne – I know, but I think you’ll find the law on statutory rape is the same in every civilised land.]

The enthusiasm of a month ago when Arriva starting operating is all dying and the drivers are back to the normal habits.

Regarding airconditioning, I had my own expierence when I caught a bus in St. Julian’s. The British driver had his own fan on (as the apes in the past used to have). I am sure that the airconditioning was on as I could feel it when I got on the bus but opening and closing the bus every five minutes, there is no way that the bus remains cool and fresh in July and August.