The “one heck of a wide parting” jibe from only fools and horses is miles funnier. Don’t give up your day job, Mr Purdie.

Now you see it, now you don’t.

Renato …

His “hair” looks like a cross between Berlusconi’s and that of Lawrence Gray and Renato’s as seen in the “hair growth” advertising board on the hill leading up from Salina to Naxxar.

[Daphne – Light and camera angles do not create hair where none exists.]

[Daphne – Typical Labour: deliberately misreading what I wrote so as to put words into my mouth (unless, of course, you’re actually incredibly thick). I did not and will never criticise baldness. Almost every man in my extended family is and was bald and it is HAIR which I find unusual in men beyond a certain age, because to me baldness is the norm. And that’s why I am inclined to think it utterly ridiculous when a bald man tries to pretend otherwise by taking very obvious measures. As for acne scars, who cares? When people can live with them, it’s a sign of confidence. Those who worry about YOUR acne scars have insecurity issues themselves. It’s not Muscat’s baldness that concerns me. It’s his belief that anything is better than baldness, including a wig.]