Haven’t you come across “plejstejxin” yet?

My children find these words hilarious, too, but I, like you, despair.

Not to mention BDOTI instead of PILOTI or SKAWTS instead of Scouts, GOWL .instead of GOAL.

*shoves finger down throat*

Nahseb li gejja minn titmattar (to stretch).

Why televixin instead of televizjoni? Is it to distinguish between the channel and the set?

In that case radju requires rejdjow.

Am I wrong in saying that words have a visual quality and that rejdjow is horrible?

He is forced to read idiotic ‘novels’ by that cretin Trevor Zahra and that disgusting magazine ‘Saghtar’ where he has to memorise submissions by other children which are full of these Inglizisms, which they seem to have invented on the spot, for dictation.

His offiicial comprehension books contain phrases like ‘HEPPI ANNIVERSARJU’ – ‘ HELLOW MONIKA’ – ‘CAW ALFRED’ ‘HEPPI BERDEJ’ and so on. The list is endless. My son just laughs….a 10 year old finds these words ridiculous and hilarious.

I attended St. Aloysius College in the 70s and I got a ‘B’ in my Maltese ‘O Level’ even though I came from an English-speaking family and my father is Irish. I used to think that I can write ‘perfect’ Maltese. Now I’m not so sure I even want to bother with the language at all.

We were taught that since the Maltese vocabulary is very limited we could use foreign words in their original form but in parenthesis or (if you were typing) in italics.

Daphne, I’m sure you remember how people like Oliver Friggieri used to fume on TV and try to belittle the horrendous ‘Tal-Pepe’ or the ‘Slimizi’ for speaking Maltese with a mixture of English words, and how people who spoke like that were ridiculed and criticised.

Now it seems that the powers that be, namely the AKKADEMJA TAL-MALTI (or whatever they call themselves nowadays) , have turned full circle and have transformed Maltese into a ‘free-for-all’ , ‘spell it how you like’ language.

The problem is that there don’t seem to be any rules any more and the language has become a sick joke.

The media don’t help either and just add to the confusion.

If you read the scrolling text on any of the news channels you find words like ‘TREJD UNION’.

“If they write ‘TREJD’ in Maltese why do they write ‘UNION’ in English and not ‘JUNJIN’ (by the same ‘rule’) in Maltese?” my son asks – a fair question, but unfortunately I have no answer to that.

[Daphne – Yes, I know the situation exactly. My sister has children that age and is constantly working herself up into fits of anger and irritation about it. Teaching ignorance and stupidity, imagine that.]

That’s if we want to stretch the meaning of the word “tahrig”. God knows we have to, with our impossibly limited pidgin Arabic. “Titharreg” is training FOR something. Training TO BECOME something. Training, that is, to reach a level of expertise.

Unless it’s training that’s done regularly.

In any case, this is not training. But EXERCISE.

Therefore: How to exercise.

If you can find me a British label on any kind of gym equipment saying “How to train” then you can hang me up by my linfa.

Tittrenja indeed. Jien qed nittrenja biex nelimina l-Ingliz mill-kostituzzjoni, ghax xbajt minn din ix-Xaraghad, er….

Daphne, prepare yourself for a shock.