Humph. Myriam, no offence, but that’s all a load of bologna.

Most Maltese women, especially the younger generations, are real stunners, even with being height challenged and all. As Daphne says, the real problem of the Maltese is that we are obsessed with inconsequentials and do not take care of the important stuff.

Of course there’s always the “Zeza ta’ Bubaqra” that tips the scale in the other direction.

Allow me to share this – it really happened.

Some weeks ago I had a blow-dry done and then wore stilettos to a morning wedding.

My six-year-old son watched as I walked around getting myself ready. “Mummy, you look normal now, but I don’t like you like this”.

Finally. Someone has spoken out. Il-Maltin koroh.

[Daphne – Not at all. People with straight hair are in the minority everywhere in Europe; most people actually have wavy or curly hair to some degree. The difference is that outside Malta it not seen as something to be ashamed of. As for the glowing skin – hardly. Pale, washed-out complexions are technically speaking more in ‘need’ of make-up than dark complexions, but most of them don’t bother so we get used to seeing them like that. As for the body – that’s not my observation. You get all shapes and sizes just as you do here in Malta; the difference is in their attitude. Maltese families raise their daughters to be insecure about their appearance. There’s this whole over-grooming thing going on and, at the other extreme, the wrong sort of ‘not bothering’, in the sense that they make no effort at all when they really can’t afford to do that because they weren’t born blessed. It’s the middle road that’s missing: on the one hand you get greasy, messy women in tracksuits and shabby jumpers, and on the other hand you get overdone, overstretched and over-made-up women. Your explanation up here reflects a lot of that attitude: ‘I can’t be seen in my natural state because I look like an Arab and not like a European’. That’s all it boils down to really.]

On the other hand the average Maltese young lady has oily skin, pimples on her chubby cheeks, frizzy dark hair (all over the body it seems, judging from the vast amount of laser hair removing treatments currently being advertised everywhere), wobbly tummy and arms, short legs and largish breasts.

Let’s admit it, il-Maltin koroh. And so they try their hardest to look “European”. But they end up looking more like …no, I won’t say it. The worst thing is when these young ladies start off strutting their stuff at the age of 9, I just can’t bear to see children, girls especially, dressed up like 18 year olds.

[Daphne – Yes, I agree with you there, but not about the Maltese being ugly. The Maltese are not naturally ugly at all; they make themselves ugly, either by trying too hard with the wrong things or going in the opposition direction. And yes, there are few human sights uglier than the parade of hideousness down Republic Street, but how much of that is God-given and how much is self-imposed? The posture, the carriage, the facial expressions, the lack of self-care in the essentials but then so much time and money spent on ruining their hair and putting on fake nails…]

Shorter length jeans and trousers aren’t actually that easy to find. I’m 155 cm tall and struggle to find 30-inch length jeans.

I own a few pairs and because I refuse to go for the homemade hem, the hems are all frayed from walking which isn’t a good look.

The problem with longer length jeans is that you not only have to shorten them but narrow them too. I practically buy all my clothes online except for jeans and trousers which I have to try on.

I had a hard time adapting to flats when I lived abroad and used to have to walk a lot. I refused to wear trainers with suits on the way to work as I found that look appalling.

The idea of carrying my heels in my bag didn’t appeal either. At my height a heel is a must, though for a casual day look I prefer wedges with jeans. I’m not talking stilettos, all my heels are on the thicker side.

I never understood how women could balance on thin heels but my colleagues at work swear that they’re comfortable. I so wish somebody would ban stiletos at work and there’s a return to the traditional court shoe which in my opinion is the only office-appropriate type of heel.

[Daphne – Stilettos are totally inappropriate for the office. They’re considered completely unacceptable in office environments elsewhere in Europe, you’re right about that.]

What you’ve said about jeans doesn’t apply only to Maltese women . I’ve seen plenty of Italians wearing the “pellicca” on jeans.

[Daphne – That’s actually a good look. Or was, anyway.]

Ghoxrin Punt: I never entered into the merits or demerits of what you call “painted faces”, but now that you have dragged me in, some Maltese women apply make-up that you need a blow-torch to remove.

And in my male ignorance, I thought that jeans and high heels were a no-no even for height challenged Maltese.

I tend to be rather partial to high heels. They allow one to not have to shorten jeans with those horrible home made hems, a very useful tool for us height challenged Maltese.

I actually find them very comfortable, and no Sowerberry i am not one of these people who will not leave the house without a painted face, in fact quite the opposite.

[Daphne – Jeans come in different lengths. You needn’t have a homemade hem. Good thing you brought this up, though – I was just thinking how I’d failed to mention that other horrible look: the way Maltese women treat jeans like trousers and dress them up with stilettos and smart belts and blow-dried hair and lots of make-up. Awful.]