He is a person with no principles, bearing in mind what he said before the election about being transparent and so on.

Our brave, sinewy and imjassrin forefathers, as the venerable Privitera teaches us, would make a few extra bob by pimping off their Sheizans.

I, however, am a Mediterraneanid scoundrel and pimp of the 21st century. So I updated my business plan, and I make you a free present of it.

Invest in a pair of fake poonts for your Sheizan. Don’t go for anything fancy. Quantity, not quality.

Then she can charge 20 Euros a flash. Use technology to your advantage. A webcam and broadband will enable your Sheizan to work from home.

In no time at all, you will recoup your investment. By then, university will seem like a bad idea. Which it is (I still rue the day).

They only cheated some other Labour supporter who may have deserved and been more qualified for the job. So, in the words of Franco Who: Hudu go fikom, intkom li tellajtuh u m’intkomx daqshekk tal-qalba. Dik hi l-meritokrazija taz-zija li wieghedkom sakemm ivvutajtulu. Hudu gost capcpu u komplu iddefenduh, fidili.

Wnen has Chris Cardona ever had an idea?

No call for applications was made, he noted, adding that the only criterion for Mrs Mizzi’s appointment appeared to be that she spoke Chinese.

Political responsibility, Dr Fenech Adami said, rested on the prime minister, because what had taken place was in sharp contrast to his promises of meritocracy, transparency and good governance.

Thank you for the advice, HP.

The trouble is that I was rather hoping not to be too stressed out at university. You know, like not having to go to lectures, and getting notes off the other students and still doing well in the exams.

Somehow I don’t feel I’ll be able to do that in architecture. There’s the catch.

Perhaps I should just stay on the dole and forget about university. I’m managing well enough I suppose. What with what Sheizan rakes in from her single-mother benefits, and the extras I earn on the side (know what I mean) you could say we’re sort of comfortable.

But thank you anyway.

Come off it!

Dr Cardona, please don’t give us this crap; you’re not talking to a bunch of idiots who clap just because you move your lips. Don’t add insult to injury. If you can’t tell the truth, please keep silent.

Of course she does. Business Class and all perks included.

Tghid mhux Ryanair ser tigi.

At least there will be no arguments over who has control of the lipstick.