Chinese pandas cost the equivalent of one Maltese passport a year – and that’s just rent, not outright ownership.

Queen gives Waters a break

Lived in Point street .

The building is a shambles.

High Commissioner to the court of St James via singing near the public toilets at Ghar id-Dud, lurking in the doorways of Soho clubs, and cheapening himself further (was that possible?) on Super One.

Only in Malta.

David has it wrong. Norman’s father was called Oliver, not Robert.

Freddie

They commissioned a real artist for a change.

You could hear him laughing from a mile away, while everyone round him smiled politely. Poor sod. More of his “British humour”, most probably.

Of course you could tell he didn’t know who the “stars” of the convention were because he barely stopped at their tables. Joseph Muscat thinks he can associate himself with nerds just because he was a twat during his school days (big difference), and now that nerds are cool, he still sticks out like a sore thumb.

My admiration for two of my favourite artists swelled when, as soon as he moved on to another table, one turned to the other and said, “Well, that was bizarre.”