Whatever. I’ll bring my smoothbore, you bring the booze and the rest.

Anthony Wiener, congressman from New York. Exposed himself on the net, a great howl last year. Tried to run again last year, but gave up. Guess his weiner was not up to snuff.

I haven’t got the right actors, and never will. This sort of satire needs brilliant actors. It’s not so much about the script.

Maltese comic actors are invariably of two types: the ghastly “Zoo”/”Bla Kondixin” type, who are too stupid to understand satire, or the MADC Alexander technique types, who think it is humorous.

This isn’t humour. It’s dead serious. I yearn for a bare stage where I can go up, perhaps wearing a black turtle-neck, stand silent for two minutes, and then denounce Franco Debono. I don’t want to be Monty Python. I want be Klaus Kinski.

And self-preservation be damned.

Him?

There is so much hilarious content in Maltese politics (from all sides and all angles). There must be a courageous producer who will be able to create something into an act that would equal or beat Monty Python.

Got it, my friend. Good idea. However, we will drink, not shoot, the Grouse, and the malts that are blended to make it. Will take at least one afternoon to do the whole deal. Ambulances await.

I will attempt to entice ‘someone’ to bring some Germknodel, (German version) too sweet for me, I’m into haggis. Makes a German sausage taste like a Weiner. Remember him?

We need to go up to Scotland to shoot some grouse. And finish it off with some Germknödel, if you get my drift.