Despite the propaganda, I don’t think Frankie is much interested in women. Men with that level of fixation on little caged birds tend to be weird about women. It’s like with train sets.

This person has been doing the animal-charity rounds for ages now. I remember her coming into my local drinkery months ago on a lunchtime, wooing the old boys in there with her mask-like made-up smile and being VERY familiar.

I think she was giving out booklets of some description to any takers.

All of a sudden, Ruth Dyer appeared out of nowhere holding a piece of paper and asked us (impolitely) to give a donation for some dog shelter.

When my husband replied in very simple English, which I had to repeat again in Maltese because she did not understand a word, that we do not give money donations to individuals collecting on the streets, she gave us a look as if she wanted to strangle us and disappeared without saying another word.

Our friends were left speechless, especially as five minutes earlier the waitress had slammed the tray containing our coffees on the table, spilling half the contents in the process.