Ah, that’s the place where if you park in the “wrong place”, you find two pieces of 20mm fibre-board, with two new 3-inch nails stuck to them, underneath the car wheels.

Once I was in the company car parked in that area, and out came a man wearing an undervest who placed these two pieces of wood with the nails pointed against two tyres of a lift services van.

Luckily the driver came out while I was still there, and I signalled to him and he came asking whether I needed anything.

He kept thanking me for saving his day. I think I still have the two pieces of wood with the nails somewhere in the garage.

And a f..ked-up country.

A very simple one. Just round the corner is a smart upmarket restaurant called Giannini. Dress accordingly. Pretend you’re lost and ask for directions.

No, I have never been to The Stable. Now that I know it’s such a happening place, I might be tempted. I lack a pot belly and flip-flops and my phone is devoid of important contacts. What sort of disguise do you recommend?

The Maltese really work hard. Must be why the economy is doing well.

So let’s recap.

There are two ways of getting super-rich in Malta.

Either in the boardrooms of the financial services firms, or down with the low-lifes and sleaze-bags.

Conservative will disagree, but to me that’s nothing if not a lop-sided economy.