Erm, ever seen a curtain frame a bidet? Could be the largest towel, ever.

Shoot me now. If I see yet another dead and lifeless interior in my other line of work, I might even shoot myself.

See Procida and die. Hotel La Vigna highly recommended.

http://photorator.com/photos/images/the-port-of-corricella-on-the-italian-island-of-procida-italy–24409.jpg

The absence of any colour, the highly polished gleam on every surface and an obsession with furniture sets are also the result of showrooms the size of a regional airport and complicit sadistic bankers with their home packages.

Thus the fitted kitchen, the bedroom suite and the gargantuan sofa opposite a ‘TV unit’ become the house.

I came across this young woman, her father in tow, hunting for a piece of colour-coordinated ‘art’ to put in her flat. Both looked seriously concerned she might get it wrong.

Conventional taste then, if rigorously upheld, feels the only saving grace, what with the deep conviction that we’re not allowed to be ourselves and an attitude to aesthetics shaped by Friday afternoon ‘crafts’ lessons.

Then there’s the phenomenon on TV and radio: ‘designers’ spouting hogwash. We’ve now evolved from wenge’ to taupe and capuccino.

The place is no home, has ghastly ‘decor’ and a dismal overall look.

The least that they could have done was stage the property (by professionals), removed all the rubbish off table tops, bathrooms etc and given the place some colour.

Whoops, someone misplaced that modifier.

This is almost as good as ‘Piano for sale by lady with carved legs.’

You can ask the President, she just might help.

You can spend millions on a home and it can still be utterly ghastly – think Middle Eastern potentates and the Gaddafi clan, and many ‘businessssssssssmennnnnn’ in Malta.

And conversely, you can spend a tiny faction of that and decorate your home beautifully.

Yes, that is a ghastly place by the standards of anybody with fairly educated sensibilities. It demonstrates the standard Maltese preference for lifeless interiors.

Crooked people and those who run their business into the ground do not usually rush to sell their property to pay off their debts BUT creditors do not usually sit back and risk not having assets to seize

Remember that in this ‘special’ transaction even the fixtures and fittings inside Cafe Premier remained the property of the failed businessmen.

The fact that we do not know the whole pudding does not mean that there is no story to explain the loose ends which do not make sense.