Hal Ghaxaq is a small village and the people are nice if not sophisticated. His parents’ house is on the main street inside the old village.

Besides being a well-known family (on his mother’s side – incidentally ex-staunch PN supporters), the police security around the house make it all the more conspicuous.

What I find intriguing is the fact that he never contested elections on his home turf. The house is named “Gilju” after the Mqabba secondary feast where he actually contested and was elected.

Now both Mqabba and Hal Ghaxaq celebrate the Assumption as their primary feast and I believe his family in Hal Ghaxaq supports (or at least used to) the Assumption band club.

Many of you may not be into these social behavioural intricacies of village life in Malta, so to cut a long story short it seems to me that there is very little affinity between Franco “Look at Me” Debono and his fellow villagers.

The incident where he was carried shoulder-high into the local Labour Party club was a farce, a parody which Franco “Look at Me” himself could have brought about. A kind of ‘marc ta’ nofs-inhar’ celebration in the euphoria of Labour victory.

I strongly doubt whether Franco “Look at Me” has any roots now in his home-town; few sympathisers and certainly less admirers.

His Big Ponies seem to mate in his cupboard and produce new ones.

Or change his diaper, in which case he had better do what other men in his situation do and begin casting round for somebody in her 20s who’s stupid enough to think that he’s some kind of ‘akkwist’.

Because they didn’t do it at 18.

It’s because I went to parties at Gianpula aged 17 to 21 with early-hours pitstops at Ta’ Sura that I hadn’t the slightest inclination to do it at 40, still less at 50.

I know for a fact that Pullicino Orlando wasn’t on the scene then because he’s a year my senior and I would have seen him once or twice but I never did.

Life is about boosting your ego to a High C, having plenty of fun, making sure you have enough cash to do what you will without having to bother about family life, especially if you’re doing fine at Mum & Dad’s and the market is abundant with all sorts.

Go for it, Pony Man. Heed not these jealous detractors. If she truly loves you, she will surely wait.

I can think of some other obstacles to marriage, all of which are listed in the Marriage Act and recognised by the Roman Catholic Church’s Marriage Tribunal.

But we won’t go into them here. It wouldn’t be nice.

Franco Debono has plenty of it.

It’s not that difficult to deduce that he’s dropped his girlfriend off at her parents’ house if that is where she lives and he’s out with her and then returns home without her.

Doesn’t take Benedict Cumberbatch to work it out.