Leaked report from Police Cyber Crime Unit: Law Commissioner is worried that he might be taken out and shot by people who read this website

This is a routine case report which the head of the Police Cyber Crime Unit wrote up for his superiors. It was photographed by a source and sent to me by WhatsApp. Which reminds me: WhatsApp is a hyper-secure way to send me information or to ring me, because it’s 100% encrypted.

This report is so hysterically funny in a deadpan way (I’m not sure whether that’s intentional) that I was in fits of laughter for quite a while after reading it. It’s like something written for Private Eye – except that it isn’t.

Note to non-Maltese readers: Franco Debono is Malta’s Commissioner for Law Reform, appointed by Prime Minister Joseph Muscat in 2013. Acute paraonia is but one of his multiple psychiatric problems.