The Smarmy Creep of Change comes up with a clever vote-catching move

Joseph Abela posted this comment further along. I’m highlighting it because it’s so tragicomic. Lions of Change, Pigs of Change, DNA Mangion, Jason Robin, and now, the Smarmy Creep of Change – Latin lover Silvio Parnis, hair gelled within an inch of its life, handing out synthetic roses at the school gates in Tarxien. It just gets better and better (or worse and worse).

This morning I took my nephew and niece to Tarxien Primary School and found quite a circus there. Silvio Parnis, his hair sculptured solid – qieshu mrewwha lest ghal zifna bil-kostum fi Pjazza Repubblika – fresh as a daisy and looking delirious with excitement, was handing out imitation red roses to all the mummies and grannies taking their kids to school. I am quite sure he was living an internal George Clooney moment. Such a delirium of grandiosity as cheesy Silvio struck the pose: ‘U din ghalik sinjura…Int taf li jien qatt ma tlabtek xejn, izda haqqni nitolbok il-vot ghal nhar is-Sibt. Ahseb fija.’

All the women were dazed and confused at such a demonstration of gallantry. Many were caught without their best finery as track-suits and leggings were quite the fashion that morning. Many thought it was St. Valentine’s all over again. Others thought it’s Jum il-Mara already. Others just appeared numb at the sheer stupidity of the act. Many commented on the cheapness of the made-in-China rose. Some children cried ‘ghax riedu fjura ghat-teacher’. But the real nugget came when I went to buy my newspapers, and at the stationer’s there were two women with roses in their hands.

Woman 1:”U le ta, imma dan genn. Inzied fl-imbarazz jonqosni. Kelli skoss flower arrangements u kollox tajjart ‘l hemm! Ara, issa kif ser nghidlu lil Tony tieghi li Silvio gieni bir-rose fejn l-skola.”

Woman 2: “Aw u kemm ihossu! Jien hasadni gie bil-fjura. Madonna, ghidt jigu bil-video go wicci dalghodu – hrigt qisni il-mignuna mid-dar. Mur fehmu li m’ghandhiex grazzja mieghu daqs kemm narah falz. U kif kien baqa bl-storja tad-dar tax-xiha li seraq?”

Woman 1: “U fejn naf! Xbajt nisma paroli miz-zewgt nahat. Aw, ha nghidlek – hu u Jason min jippoza l-aktar. L-ghoqda ta’ l-ingravata qisha daqs dinja t-tnejn li huma. Balla n**k.”

Woman 2:”Isma, helu hux dak li beka hemm tan-Nigret (Mistra?). U iva, dak ta’ ghajnejh ta’ qattus, hemm – ta’ Gonzi….”.

Woman 1: “Jeffrey Pullicino Orland? Hiiiiii, u zgur li gustuz!”

Eat your heart out, Silvio and Jason (not that Jason would bother much about this one). All the ladies want to cuddle Jeffrey and make him stop crying. Funny how long it’s taken some ‘men’ to find out that a single red rose inevitably has the opposite effect of that intended. Single red roses are associated in women’s minds with publicity stunts, cheap tricks, cheating husbands and importuning gypsies. Enough said.