Il-Madonna, using the internet would have been simpler
Domestic violence? No, I just walked into a door.
The telephone, the telegram, the telex, all have come and gone. Now we’re living in the age of satellite communications, the internet and mobile telephony, and Our Lady who art in heaven is still using fat men, peasants and children who live in the sticks as conduits for her message.
And despite the boom in telecoms, she’ll only impart her message at the appointed hour in the appointed place. When Angelik took a trip (no, no, not that kind) last week, the woman who died 2000 years ago and who has apparently inspired the life choices of Marlene Pullicino kept her appointment at Borg in-Nadur even though her chunky conduit – who doesn’t have stigmata on his feet because with a belly that size he can’t reach them – was in Rome.
To be honest (somebody has to be), it is not immediately clear where the much-put-upon Madonna delivered her absolutely pointless message. The latest post on the Borg in-Nadur blog states in the title that the message was “given at Rome”, then further down it says: “My children, and my own little children, even though Angelik is not in Malta, just the same I wanted to give you this message at Birzebbuga, because I think of you.”
Gosh, thanks.
What’s that word which describes the phenomenon of somebody being in two places at the same time – bilocation?
I don’t know about you, but it strikes me as more than a little odd that the omniscient Madonna is still stuck in AD30 and communicates in a fixed place by using a well-fed fellow as a ventriloquist’s doll, while the well-fed fellow’s ‘people’ communicate that message in turn through the very 21st-century medium of an internet blog.
Perhaps during his next session at Borg in-Nadur, when not eating dirt as a satisfying snack between pies and spitting out bits of bougainvillea, Angelik Caruana might make this suggestion to bring the Madonna bang up to date: “Hey, ma’am, how about if we set up a blog for you?”
But you know how it is with these middlemen: they go to all sorts of lengths to protect their interests. The 21st-century economy may have gone the way of cutting out the middleman and going direct, but not where hot-lines to heaven are concerned.
Now go ahead and read the Madonna’s very latest inspirational message. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. If you’re anything like I am, the prospect of eternity spent in the hectoring, whining, haranguing company of people like that woman in the fur collar who stood up with her microphone to shout about peace in the afterlife, that pretty young woman who should be out having a good time instead of speaking about the Madonna as though she is a real person who lives next door, that ghastly Catherine Caruana with her resin statue, her sea-salt and her sunflower oil, and that friar with the lisp is enough to make me look upon hell as a pleasant alternative.
Saturday, April 18, 2009
(P184) Message of 1st April, 2009, given at Rome
My own little children, and my children – the ones of my heart.
What does a mother with a new-born baby do? Beware not to touch her new-born! And watch out how to hold the baby, lest it gets hurt! Once the baby begins to grow, the mother teaches it the first words: “Mum!” and “Dad!” She tries to teach the baby to crawl on its knees. She tries to help the baby take hold of her hand and walk on its feet lest it falls to the ground. She tries to feed the baby with the first spoon-full, for it to grow physically.
My children, I am doing the same with you, but with one difference – that I am your mother from Heaven. I am teaching you how to walk slowly, for you not to get hurt. I did not want you to fall to the ground, but to rise onto your feet. I did not want you to bruise your knees on the ground. My Son Jesus is sending me so as to teach you, my children, since He too loves you. He is ever mindful of you. My children, and my own little children, even though Angelik is not in Malta, just the same I wanted to give you this message at Birzebbuga, because I think of you.
So, rise up to your feet and raise others to their feet along with you! Do not stand up all by yourselves. If the need arises, you are to teach them yourselves how to rise to their feet.
Thank you my children for having listened to my call.
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Here are some more people who are odds with the internet, using it like a private telephone line and discussing tactics on how to get into this blog to put over the Lejber view – on a Hi5 discussion group accessible to any one of the billions of people who have an internet connection:
http://josephmuscat.hi5.com/friend/group/3648488–16655393–Maltese%2BPolitics%2B-%2BPartit%2BLabu—-topic-html
And they’re not even embarrassed to reproduce a comment which shows that my written Maltese is a hell of a lot better than theirs.
One of them is so inept that she needed instructions to find her way to this blog.
I hate to say it, but no wonder they vote…..Labour.
Looks like there’s a guide-book called How to Fake Your Own Madonna Message, because the ones from Medjugorje are remarkably similar to the ones from Borg in-Nadur:
http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://www.medjugorjeusa.org/350DSC_0783.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.medjugorjeusa.org/mirjanamessage.htm&usg=__Ph_dGuXmpcP3M6UwP3mYdP4yjOA=&h=527&w=350&sz=13&hl=en&start=59&tbnid=2IZe7iOsHJW4UM:&tbnh=132&tbnw=88&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dmedjugorje%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D21%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1W1SNYW%26sa%3DN%26start%3D42
The direct link is http://www.medjugorjeusa.org/mirjanamessage.htm
Another bunch of frauds, and the inspiration for the Caruanas:
http://images.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=http://www.homebusinesslink.com/Mirjana_Apparition.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.homebusinesslink.com/visionaries.html&usg=__qT8uqXY7UT0KFZ_5lJIcyRMfSV8=&h=502&w=327&sz=39&hl=en&start=30&tbnid=6JxkGcNujV3DtM:&tbnh=130&tbnw=85&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dthe%2Bvisionaries%2Bof%2Bmedjugorje%26gbv%3D2%26ndsp%3D21%26hl%3Den%26rlz%3D1W1SNYW%26sa%3DN%26start%3D21
http://www.homebusinesslink.com/visionaries.html
Can’t recall instances when people felt sorry for you (except perhaps after the arson attack on your home) and as long as you’re being envied you must be in good shape. Amazing how the knives come out when you’re at the top. Case with the footy today. Not very nice when your team is down and you’re surrounded by a sizable contingent of smirking a**holes rubbing their hands but we gave as good as we got and when the turnaround came it was total shambles – stools on the floor, beer in the air, barman jumping over the bar (to celebrate with us), and lots of rude signs towards some very dejected Scouse bastards. Wonderful. (BTW, in the interest of fair play, shouldn’t Angelik declare which football team he supports?).
On the current hot topic; having watched parts of Xarabank on the net, the thing that really strikes me about these people and others of the prayer-group type is the general absence of happiness. What else is there to say?
Has anyone come across “il-Madonna li tholl il-ghoqiedi”?
What?
I received a “santa” and a fridge magnet of “il-Madonna li tholl l-ghoqiedi”. They were sent by “il-Moviment Missjunarju, Gesu fil-Proxxmu.” My reaction was “whatever next”? Our Lady is literally undoing knots in a very long ribbon.
Do you think you’re uncovering something new? These things have been happening for hundreds of years. Once Pope Sixtus V heard that in a particular farmhouse there was a bleeding crucifix, and he decided to go and see for himself, took up an axe and said: “As Christ I worship You; as wood I smash you”. The blow revealed a sponge soaked in animal blood inside the crucifix, which the farmer squeezed in order to collect money from those who went to pray at the site of the fake miracle.
Nothing new under the sun.
Father Elia Vella was probably there observing. He is neither approving nor condemning.
How is it possible that people are not seeing this scam for what it is? I agree completely with Dr Abela Medici that this is an insult to the religion I believe in and practise. Yes, it is true believers of the Catholic faith that should feel insulted by all this hogwash
@maryanne
“this is an insult to the religion I believe in and practise.”
This scam is not an insult to the religion you believe in. On the contrary , it just serves to illustrate the more widespread scam that your religion is. A more sophisticated and elaborate scam of course, but a scam just the same. If you felt insulted by this scam imagine how un non-believers feel about the whole of the religion scam.
When are we going to behave like adult, rational human beings? Angelik is a fake, Medjugorje is a scam, Fatima and Lourdes are figments of imagination and Christianity is based on the most best-selling fairy tale of all time. Open your eyes and minds – visit godisimaginary.com
Daph, this is when I simply love reading you! Whenever people make these claims I ask them why the Madonna did not appear in Auschwitz, the killing fields of Cambodia, or Armenia during the genocide. No, she appears in Birzebbuga, of course.
[Daphne – Another couple of months and she’ll be down on the beach, haranguing tat-topless. Angelik looks like he’d love that even more than pies, but Mrs Angelik will have other ideas. I’m hanging on until the statuette begins defecating corned beef and tinned peas, plus the odd smear of kunserva.]
It is obvious to all that this Angelik guy is not all there, however when somebody like Patri Elia (the exorcist) utters equally outrageous stories, the whole Maltese population seems to listen. Patri Elia has appeared as some sort of expert on many programmes. I have seen articles written by him, in newspapers. I still have to make up my mind whose claims are the more outrageous, Patri Elia’s or Angelik’s?
You do have to concede, however, that this is a very polite Madonna who concludes her communiques by thanking her children for listening to her call.
Oh yes, and she seems more concerned with a few young people dressed as priest/nuns/whatever, than with more serious crimes the world over. More importantly, she seems more concerned with goings-on in Gozo (why not Borg in-Nadur itself, for heaven’s sake?) than with the millions of people dying of disease and starvation, most notably in Africa.
L-aqwa li titkellem b’mod “helu”, hux? (And yes – I do know that you were being sarcastic, don’t worry.)
I notice a similarity between Angelik and the prophet Mohammed who founded Islam, except that Mohammed compiled the Koran and used force to convert people to follow his religion.
Mohammed allegedly had apparitions from god and angel Gabriel.
Unfortunately there was no internet at that time, otherwise we would be reading similar comments about Mohammed.
[Daphne – And about Jesus Christ, and one scandal after another about the Virgin Mary and her living arrangements.]
Hello Daph,
Indeed these are all lies and scams all of the apparitions, they are all work of Satan,
I do believe in God and very STRONGLY, but the apostle paul told us that Satan can appear as an angel of light…
And no wonder! For Satan himself transforms himself into an angel of light. 2 Corinthians 11:14
Take the apparition of Medjugorje for instance She is saying that she is the way the truth and the life and no one goes to the father except through her!!!!!!!!!
COME ON PLEASE how can they be so blind!!!???
THESE are the very words of our Saviour JESUS CHRIST
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. John 14:6
The world is being DECEIVED BIG TIME by all these signs and wonders that Jesus Himself told the apostle that will happen in the the END TIMES….
Satan can appear as an angel of light and he can doo all wonders and miracles to DECEIVE YOU THOSE WHO MUST SEE IN ORDER TO HAVE FAITH, THOSE THAT THEY DON’T TRULY HAVE THE HOLY SPIRIT OF GOD IN THEM!!!!
WAKE UP !!!!!!!!!!!
Watch all of you Messages from Heaven
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6Nm6bXk9NQ&feature=channel_page
Ps Daph please get in touch with me I got tons of these stuff that you can right about !!!