Hi, my name’s Joseph and I’m young
Something zghazagh can really identify with: the hip way to suck an archibishop's hand while losing your hair
Somebody should tell Joseph Muscat to stop selling himself as ‘young’. It would be bad enough in English, but in Maltese it just doesn’t wash because both the word and the concept don’t translate in any way except to make him sound utterly ridiculous.
A person who is still young, properly young, is usually described in Maltese as being still zghir, which also means small. It is most often used in contexts where the implication is that the person is too young for something, like ghadni zghira wisq biex nizzewweg (I’m too young to marry) or zghir wisq biex isiefer wahdu (he’s too young to go away alone) – that kind of thing.
But I can’t see Joseph Muscat, or any other man for that matter, describing himself as zghir. The other meaning – small – is too painfully close. Maltese is a funny language in that way.
So which word does Muscat deploy repeatedly instead to describe himself as young? Zaghzugh. He speaks to reporters, several of whom are almost a generation his junior, and says: “Zaghzugh bhali” or “Peress li jien zaghzugh” or even “Halli nkellimkom bhala zaghzugh.”
He did it on his way in to his ‘reply to the budget’ speech, or his post-reply-to-the-budget-speech press conference. I forget which, given that all those self-congratulatory remarks blur into one after a while.
Zaghzugh indeed – though people who are desperate to clutch onto their rapidly fading days of milk and honey like to use this term to mean ‘young’, what it actually means is ‘youth’. Youths, and in English the term is used only for young men and never for young women, are those who are on the cusp between the teenage years and fully-fledged manhood.
They are just about beginning to shave and to sprout facial hair. They are not artfully gelling the remaining tufts on their scalp to cover the rapid advance of male pattern baldness.
The more I hear Joseph Muscat bang on about how young he is, the more I suspect just how panicked he is by what he sees in the mirror every morning. Some people find the changes wrought by the passing years so terribly hard to accept, and fight them all the way instead of embracing every stage in life for what it is.
Youths end somewhere around the age of 21, which is roughly where men begin. There are no youths in their mid-30s, balding and with the thickening frame of approaching middle age, with wives and twins, homes and swimming-pools, big Italian cars and all the trappings of the sedate, bourgeois middle years.
That’s why those who are truly young laugh when they hear Muscat, balding in his suit (if they bother to listen to him at all, that is, given how so many of them are buzzing around living their EU citizen lives), living his ultra-conventional life, describe himself as a zaghzugh.
When is he going to stop doing it? He’s at least 15 years older than real youths.
Now let’s get to his performance last Monday. I missed most of it because on Monday evenings I watch Eastenders first and then Joanna Lumley in Sensitive Skin (I love it). It was really hard flicking from Ms Lumley’s perfect delivery to the leader of the opposition on TVM, but in the interest of public service, I had to do it.
And my first thought was: “Is this person getting training in public speaking, or is he getting lessons from a children’s theatre group like Stagecoach?”
I was put in mind of those acting classes where people with nothing better to do, and who are never going to become Joanna Lumley, take it in turns to pretend to be Man Having Argument or Woman Chastising Child. Here on TVM we had Man Delivers Speech, closely followed by Man Gives Press Conference But Doesn’t Take Questions In Case He Doesn’t Know The Answers Or Screws Up.
I don’t think Muscat quite understands this, but instead of coming across as young, he’s coming across as psychologically retarded and rather too pleased with himself in that way that the emotionally and intellectually undeveloped quite often are. It’s all down to a complete lack of self-awareness.
He can’t see how others see him, because he still sees himself through the besotted eyes of those who raised him and the no doubt equally besotted eyes of the one who married him. When he takes to the podium, the overall impression is invariably that of Clever Dick Being Much Admired By Nanna.
And so, rather than coming across as smart in Monday’s performance, he came across as smug (at one point, the man was actually swaggering). Rather than coming across as convinced of what he was saying, he came across as somebody struggling to remember what he had rehearsed in his Stagecoach sessions (my apologies to Stagecoach; I know it isn’t you but you’re the ones everyone knows about).
Who knows? Life is strange and perhaps Muscat will come along, metamorphose into a real man instead of one of those tedious braggarts you just want to pour your drink over in a bar as he drones on about his Escort armata or the I’ve-come-up-in-the-world equivalent. But somehow, I don’t think so.
By the age of 35, people are ‘fixed’. They are what they’re going to be for the rest of their lives. There’ll be a little mellowing, a bit of easing off of the rough edges, but character, personality and psychology are there to stay. The men I knew who were total asses at 35 are still total asses at 45 and 55 and even at 65. They were probably total asses at 25. So it looks very much like we’re going to have an ‘arani, ma’ prime minister.
If in Joseph Muscat’s mind his biggest selling-point is the fact that he is a zaghzugh, I’m curious to know how he’s going to handle the moment when he looks in the mirror and confronts the fact that he is a grown-up now and not an only child admired by the grown-ups who people his world and on whose approval he depends.
His insistence that he is a zaghzugh might be the reason why his advisers, such as they are, keep him well away from gatherings of the real thing.
There are few things more likely to make people in their mid-30s look and feel their age than standing next to a 20-year-old – unless it’s having that 20-year-old tell you, with that special voice reserved for communicating with grown-ups, ‘You must know my father.’
This article is published in The Malta Independent on Sunday today.
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Could be that couples who have their first child at 34 or so perceive themselves as young since they still have to deal with babies and nappies at what is, technically, middle age. If at 34 you are a father or mother of teenagers you consider yourself as a mature adult who has had to take care of and provide for others, rather than just for yourself, for a decade or so, and these responsibilites dispel the myth that you are a ‘zaghzugh’ in your mid to late thirties.
[Daphne – Damn right, though struggling to conceive and having to use methods that result in twins should be enough to bring people that age face to face with the harsh reality that their youth is well behind them. Talk about denying reality. I don’t think medicine knows of many youths who are in need of IVF. If I were him I wouldn’t bleat on about my youth while advertising the fact that I couldn’t conceive a child without artificial assistance (which he recently did) because it looks kind of weird.]
” If I were him I wouldn’t bleat on about my youth while advertising the fact that I couldn’t conceive a child without artificial assistance (which he recently did) because it looks kind of weird.]”
I read this sentence three times.Where did you read this Daphne?
He doesn’t even spare himself from his own big mouth.
Poor ‘din’.
[Daphne – He said that he does not oppose in vitro fertilisation because he and Din used it themselves. Reasoning: if I used it, then it must be morally acceptable. Or: it is morally acceptable because I used it.]
2.2 – The authorities of the Roman Catholic Apostolic Church
have the duty and the right to teach which principles are right and which are wrong. (The Constitution of Malta)
Do Maltese politicians qualify as “authorities” of the Church?
Don’t be too hard on the little twerp, Daphne, Don’t forget he’s destined to lead the fanatical lemmings over the cliff (and into the abbess) so that Malta can avoid being governed by people who are superstitious, ingnorant and intolerant. Let’s wish him every success.
Labour has come a long way. Today he sucks the Archbishop’s finger dry, tomorrow he will lead the way in every town square and parvis. It is a deserving omen. The global corporate takeover is in tenth gear while Lilliput freewheels serenely to the tune of ‘Ode to Joy’.
Let’s hope our Joey finds time to read this article: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/economics/6599281/Societe-Generale-tells-clients-how-to-prepare-for-global-collapse.html
And if he lacks understanding, let’s hope he reads this great classic on money: http://mises.org/books/whathasgovernmentdone.pdf
And let’s also hope he is not ‘educated’ enough to reach out for a Federal Reserve, Bilderberger shill, like Niall Ferguson, who tells you all you think you need to know about money without telling you what you really ought to know. In Soviet times they called them apparatchiks. The most educated Soviets fed on the illusions they crapped out.
Our Joey might have learned a thing or two from Maltafly, but he knows which side his bread is buttered. In a very special way, our Joey and Daphne are very much alike. And they both thrive on the Lilliputian saga.
[Daphne – Jaqaw ma gietx eletta l-mara, Kevin?]
Kev,
It’s terrible what they’ve done to ‘our’ money. If I were you I’d tell my employers to start paying me with sea shells and glass beads. Nobody can mess with that currency.
…or better still, just don’t write anything at all and we’d think you are the wiser.
Also one has to consider that an only child with doting parents and nannu and nanna who have provided and cared for him up to his thirties is bound to be still feeling zaghzugh at 34.
NPD anyone?
Look it up…and then…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yG07WSu7Q9w
http://www.simplyred.com/music/index.php?display=album&albumid=13&trackid=149#musictitle
Bob Dylan’s Forever young sounds better.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1208zlGSrCI
“…il-middle class”.
Daphne, slight change of subject but an article in the Sunday TImes of Malta today- quote ‘Labour leader Joseph Muscat said today that while investigations into last week’s power outage should continue, somebody should shoulder responsibility for what had taken place, especially as the chairman of Enemalta had initially implied sabotage, that casting a shadow on the workers’.
As it appears that he does not seem to mind who does, and the fact I am feeling generous, I would like to take full responsibility for the power outage. I hope Mr Muscat is happy now!
[Daphne – I liked the headline: ‘Muscat demands responsibility for power outage’. Well, then take it, honey.]
If the idiot wants to point his finger at someone, why does he not do so? Ghalfejn joqod idur mal-lewza?
Eh ta’ zghazugh iridha l-leader…anke fis-social life :http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TxWG-rCs0C4
“Something zghazagh can really identify with: the hip way to suck an archibishop’s hand while losing your hair”
Look on the bright side – at least he did not get the “plant prop” up his behind on bending over …
Look on the brighter side – at least the plant behind his behind was not a fully grown cactus!
Sounds familiar?
http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Politics/Gordon-Brown-And-David-Cameron-Apologise-For-Remembrance-Day-Photo-Opportunities/Article/200911415461328?lpos=Politics_First_Home_Article_Teaser_Region_7&lid=ARTICLE_15461328_Gordon_Brown_And_David_Cameron_Apologise_For_Remembrance_Day_Photo_Opportunities
Hmmm, weren’t we saying that he’s an immature ‘baby’ a couple of web-pages ago? That he’s way too young to be a potential prime-minister?
I’m a tad confused… :/
How predictable – a schoolyard retort.
a friend of yours, kev?
http://newsbusters.org/blogs/brad-wilmouth/2009/11/16/woody-harrelson-chevron-behind-war-afghanistan-carter-was-pretty-grea
It is true then, that youth is wasted on the young
Dan veru qed iqazzez ‘l Alla li halqu; ma jafx jghalaq halqu
http://www.illum.com.mt/2009/11/15/t9.html
U ohra Daph, mela issa ghandu ‘l Marisa mieghu u qed jitlef nies bhal Profs D Fenech
Anke l-lejboristi stess qed jarawh bhala plastic lijder
http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20091122/local/former-pl-secretary-warns-party-against-losing-its-soul
I happened to follow around half an hour of Joseph Muscat’s budget reply speech. Each time he mentioned a sector at the end of the paragraph he stated: “Hu minn hawn insellem lil-haddiema ta’ dan is-settur li zgur huma onesti ecc , ecc , il-plummers, l-elektixins, il-bennejja” and so on.
[Daphne – Effing pathetic. Tal-biki.]
Then he continued with the litany of potential voters: “U minn haw nixtieq insellem lil-middle class, tal-hwienet, is-self employed” and so on.
Next came the health sector: “U minn hawn irrid insellem lin-nersis, tobba, specjalisti, fisjoterapisti” …and so on.
He forgot us, ‘id-deffiena’, the people who he’s trying to rob of our daily bread! Isn’t he trying hard to bury his and his party’s dark past?
After half an hour I changed channel to watch ‘Affari Tuoi’. After watching some news, at around quarter past eight I watched the last part and saw the bear hug which inspector Anglu (who was probably nodding near him for the whole two hours) gave to the great young leader and the rehearsed hand shakes from his MPs.
Finally I noticed that at the “press conference without questions” there was Dr Tony ‘shuttlecock’ Abela sitting together with the other MPs. Was he secretly co-opted as an MP without our knowledge?
And the Burmarrad accent breaks out in spite of all the Brussels lifestyle.
Baxxter as long as someone talks sense I don’t mind him or her talking slang or with a different accent. Dr Gonzi talks sense on the airplane servicing industry even though he refers to airplanes as ‘arjuplani’.
[Daphne – Actually, it’s the PM who’s correct: aria, arja, aereo, therefore arjuplani. Ajruplani is either the result of mispronunciation like petlor or pirmli – or, like many other things which in Malta we got to know through the British forces, a mispronunciation of the English way of saying it: some British accents had it as AY-roplane before it became simply airplane or now just plane.]
Did anyone see Eddie Fenech Adami patiently giving an explanation to an uncontrolled discussion panel on One TV’s Epoka? The TV presenter burst into tears at one point because Labour supporters were buried in unconsecrated ground (il-Mizbla). In Maltese we say “Bikja ta’ mara qisa’ bewla ta’ kelb”.
[Daphne – Guess what? I’m halfway through my life, grew up surrounded by women, and I can’t remember seeing any of them cry except in exceptional and warranted circumstances like death – and sometimes not even then.]
No the PM is not correct on this Arjuplan word .You forgot the word AJRU.
[Daphne – Ajru is the entrenched mispronunciation of aria/arja. The ‘j’ sound should not come before the ‘r’ sound, but after it. Also, while I appreciate the distinction you make and know the usage of ‘ajru’, it remains an entrenched error. The distinction you make between the air which we breathe and the air in which planes fly does not exist in any other language which I know of in which the word ‘air’ is combined with ‘plane’.]
A Maltese saying goes like this: “L-AJRU ghandu ghajnu, u l-hajt ghandu widintu ” literal translation “the sky has its eye and the wall has its ear”.
When dark clouds build up in the skies we say “Kemm krieh l-ajru!”
Arja is more like the air we breathe and Ajru is used only to refer to the place where planes can fly (linguistically).
I have never seen the word Arjuplan written on a Maltese dictionary.
[Daphne – Ah, but I have seen xorz and kuxin, and that’s why I don’t take Maltese dictionaries as the last word on spelling and pronunciation.]
The word youth does not refer only to young males. It means young people in general. This is at least the meaning given to the term.
[Daphne – The word ‘youth’ refers to young people in general only when used as a generic noun. When used for ONE young person, that person must be male. When used as a plural noun (youths) it means young males, and not young people. Trust me on this. Nobody who speaks idiomatic English would ever refer to a young woman as a youth, or to young women as youths. Youths are young men.]
Regarding the age group of youth there is no fixed age. As far as I know one can be a member of some youth
organizations even if one is over thirty years old.
[Daphne – That’s not the meaning of the word. That’s wishful thinking.]
Mr Joseph Muscat is however better described as a young adult.
[Daphne – No. Young adults are people like my sons, in their early 20s (and they class Muscat in the same generational bracket as their mother, and certainly not with them). In one’s mid- to late 30s one is middle-aged, and not a young adult. Prolonged life and the postponement of reproduction have led to the false interpretation of large parts of adulthood as youth, when it is anything but and biology brings us face to face with this harsh reality when we try to have a baby and can’t at the ‘youthful’ age of 30-something.]
I’m 34 and I’m not a zaghzugh. Much as it pains me to admit it, I’m middle-aged (albeit at the very beginning). And I hate the term zghazagh – it’s so condescending. I liken it more to the English ‘youngsters’: a term used by 60 year-olds and over, as in “My, the youngsters of today, with all their Internet and sex. How times have changed.”
No self-respecting teen should refer to himself as a zaghzugh. It reminds me of those stupid shows on Favourite and Super 1 where they get a bunch of teens in a studio and they talk about how great they are and how responsible they are and bla, bla, bla, while discussing the issues like sex and drugs. “Ghax ahna, iz-zghazagh…” What a bunch of nerds.
Today’s password is: Il-Middleclass
Yet another “inizjattiva ta’ zaghzugh”:
http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20091125/local/muscat-does-not-take-part-in-opm-budget-debate