Buying handbags for the Far Right – make sure they're not black
Mona Farrugia's 'shopping editor', far left, with her companion Norman Lowell and his brilliant lawyer Emy Bezzina
Out-of-work restaurant critic Mona Farrugia has a new ‘shopping editor’ for her website Planet Mona, which is her last remaining opportunity for cadging free rides off Emirates and freebies in hotels the world over, now that her services have been dispensed with – largely, I suspect, because of the major freeloading that was going on – by at least two newspapers.
And the new shopping editor is – wait for it – Norman Lowell’s (ahem) companion and right-hand woman at Imperium Europa, Arlette sive Letty Baldacchino.
Lie down and weep.
I ask myself: is this country for real? Does anyone take anyone or anything else seriously? Are these islands populated by nut-jobs, morons and ‘special cases’ – which would make them, on the available evidence, not special at all but commonplace?
I look at the newspapers, the television and the Labour Party and I have to count the normal people – normal, that is, by ordinary standards because here, it seems, the freakish are normal and the normal are freakish.
I think it’s the result of prolonged cabin fever – what happens when people are locked up too long in a room. And here we were, locked up on a piece of rock until we began to manifest the same symptoms.
Here’s a sample of what you can expect Shopping Editor Arlette/Letty to give you, in between writing press releases about Africans who should stay in Africa and refrain from polluting Europe.
“Being a bag lady, I fell in love with a black Cesare Paciotti. I touched and felt to my heart’s content and happily the sales assistants did not harass me with “Can I help you?” I swung it over my shoulder, clutched it under my arm and just as I was about to shag it on the lush carpeted floor, I thought: Wait a minute, let’s see how much this will set me back.”
Shagging a handbag, eh? Well, let’s put it this way: if she shagged Norman Lowell, she’ll shag anything.
Nice one, Mona – rooting for the progressive Labour Party as you do and then picking a rabid Far Right racist for your ‘shopping editor’. Does she take change from dirty niggers behind the counter, we wonder?
And was the handbag – gasp – really black?
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A “bag lady” is a homeless woman who carries her possessions around in shopping bags. Maybe Cesare Paciotti have launched a range of black dustbin liners.
Perhaps this was the inspiration for that recent Maltastar article about “roofless” people.
If I’m not mistaken, 10cc had an album entitled “Are you normal?”
Or was it “Are you Norman?”
My solidarity to Cesare Paciotti. He doesn’t deserve this harassment.
Can I be music editor?
3 a.m. The painted cow!
Not unusually, I was mistaken . . . it’s by “Ned’s Atomic Dustbin” whoever they are. Just checked.
““Being a bag lady…” Well, not quite – but a budding one, perhaps? Now, the bags having been done, how about a nice line in shopping trolleys?
Thanks for telling us about this. I was a Facebook fan of her Fun of Mona’s Meals website but no more. She can go to hell with her racist maid.
“Are these islands populated by nut-jobs, morons and ’special cases’ – which would make them, on the available evidence, not special at all but commonplace?”
After watching One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, my friends and I had a go to see if we could identify enough “allegedly normal” people in our home town to fill up a bus and take them out for a trip a’ la Nicholson. Spiccajna b’ghaxra bil-wieqfa.
Sounds like something she picked up from Sex and the City.
[Daphne – You have to remember that we’re talking here of somebody who is exactly the same age as we are. A really bad case of arrested psychological development, I would say. Imagine going into paroxysms of ecstasy over a bag at the same age my mother was going into paroxysms of delight over her first grandchild. I mean, for heaven’s sake.]
Between you and me – I’ve met Cesare Paciotti. He is from Civitanova Marche, close to us and a client of our firm. Madonna, this lady would have an “instant orgasm” if she had to meet the guy behind the bag.
What amazes me is that it seems some Maltese are not ashamed to be shallow, stupid and rimbambiti. I’ve already noticed this from some comments I’ve seen on Facebook.
Here’s the one – http://shoes.stylosophy.it/wp-galleryo/storia-cesare-paciotti/cesare-paciotti.jpg
It’s good to know that I am not the only one who thinks Mona is just a free-loader who pretends to be a connoisseur of the fine things in life when in actual fact she is just another ‘mittleklass chav’ (as you so accurately describe people like her).
For example she has just discovered destinations like Mauritius, Seychelles, Thailand and Morocco.
From the way she writes you would think she is the first Maltese to set foot in these places when in fact most seasoned travellers now go elsewhere.
Her local restaurant ‘reviews’ are equally useless as she only seems to like ‘naff’ places with ‘damask’ curtains and fancy names – the food, service and ambiance are secondary in her opinion.
I bet she also has a Burberry scarf in her wardrobe.
Hi Daphne, my sincere thanks for brightening up my morning.
Daphne,
Your information is quite wrong with regards to Mona’s employment status. She’s working with BetFair as a facilities manager.
[Daphne – I know exactly where she works, even though she never publicises the fact because it’s a little hard to get freebies from the world’s best hotels if you tell them you’re the facilities manager at an internet betting company, rather than Malta’s Leading Travel Writer and Restaurant Critic. I wrote ‘unemployed restaurant critic’ and not ‘unemployed woman’. Also, if she tells her ‘funs’ that she a lowly employee at a betting company, they’ll want to know how she pays for all the things she boasts about like the chav she is – and then she might have to reveal that she freeloads in return for lots of promised publicity.]
I knew there was a reason I can’t work in a properly air-conditioned office! Next time I request that it’s fixed I’ll be sure to send a Louis Vuitton handbag to sweeten the deal.
Anyone knows why Mona stopped writing for MaltaToday? It seems like her natural home from what you are saying about her! Did she have a bust up with Salvu? I seem to remember that she had commented on her website that she would write all about it but she never did.
For god’s sake, who in their right mind would have a Far Right activist working on their website project?
I will refrain from commenting about Arelette, however with regards to Mona, I’m afraid you’re wrong Daphne and your claims unsubstantiated. The fact that she does not work for a newspaper anymore does not make her reviews any less credible and as to your claim that she is after freebies I can assure you is far from the truth. She would definitely not stoop that low.
I enjoy reading your blog Daphne but I’m afraid at times you put everyone in the same box….lighten up a bit for God’s sake.
[Daphne – I know rather more than you do about this, I’m afraid. Or perhaps you think it is possible for a lowly civil servant in his 20s (her second husband is roughly a decade her junior) and the employee of a betting company to fly across the world first-class. Have you any idea how much that costs, and how much money you must have to think nothing of throwing away several thousands of dollars on a couple of air-tickets? And haven’t you asked yourself why she always flies with Emirates and makes a point of telling us about it? Or why she publicises the hotels she stays in – hotels no lowly civil servant and betting company employee could possibly afford as the room rates start at around $1,500 a night?
Why would anybody write about the hotels in which they stay, with photographs and blow-by-blow invasion of privacy details, unless they were paid to do so, or the trip was offered free in return for publicity? This is common editorial practice and there’s nothing wrong with it – but you’ve got to specify that you travelled as the guest of company X.
The companies who give her these freebies get practically nothing in return. These offers are deals in which you are expected to fulfill your side of the bargain: they pay and you give them exposure. But Mona doesn’t regard it as a deal: she regards it as Fr Christmas distributing gifts all year round. First they got a couple of mentions in The Sunday Times. Then The Sunday Times found out and blew its top. Then they got a brief piece in Malta Today (really useful – like there’s a big market among Malta Today’s readership for The Peninsula). Malta Today found out and went nuts too. And now they get a brief mention on her website. God knows how she pitches the deal to them, but if she were to pitch it honestly they would laugh her out of town. ‘Give me a holiday and I’ll give you coverage on a website read by the Maltese mittilkless.’
The alternative explanation is that she’s a common chav, thrilled to stay in a posh hotel and desperate to let everyone know about it. But even then, she’d need the money to pay for it, and neither she nor her husband has that. The only thing that both of them have is a sack-load of pushy pretensions and the desperate need to create a false image that is entirely at odds with Mona’s loud, crass vulgarity in the flesh.
I’ll just tell you about one small incident which perfectly encapsulates her shameless bumming. She was working with Malta International Airport at the time. She rang me at the office the day after Taste magazine was published (it sells out everywhere by 9am). ‘I missed it! Do you have any copies available?’ ‘Yes, Mona, I have one for you if you want to pop round to my office and collect it.’ ‘Actually, all the girls here want one too! Do you have seven?’ Sigh. ‘Well, I can’t really spare them, Mona, because we need them for advertisers, but never mind – this is what they cost. I’ll be here till 6pm, so you can drive by after work, leave a cheque and pick them up.’ Thirty minutes later and the intercom goes: there’s a confused Malta International Airport driver, in uniform, standing outside and a big Malta International Airport official car in the drive. ‘Mona Farrugia sent me to collect some papers,’ he says. I give him the magazines (he looks at them, perplexed) and ask him whether she’s given him a cheque. ‘Cheque? What cheque?’ So not only did she bum a stack of magazines, but she also used an MIA driver for her personal errand, telling him it was official business because using a driver for a personal errand is grounds for a formal warning from one’s employer. I wasn’t surprised to hear that soon after that she left the airport’s employment under a bit of a cloud.]
“false image that is entirely at odds with Mona’s loud, crass vulgarity in the flesh.” – I think I love you.
Mona doesn’t stay in these places half the time: she just gets the promotional material from them and stays the odd night, but she would have us believe she is living the high life 24×7. In her world she is, of course.
At least she can now add to her CV that she is committed to diversity and engages the services of racists.
so is SPTT otherwise know as a certain Mr Farrugia?
You are all so cruel to the lovely Mona! Are you aware she was solely responsible for the Pope’s cuisine on his flying visit to these beautiful shoes? OK, so she’s a chavette and the most uncouth thing you could ever meet, but contact her at Bitfair.com and get your hands on one of the knock-off Louis Vuitton bags from the job-lot she’s selling – all good quality fakes, just like her.
I am so looking forward to Mona’s reply on this – thanks, Daphne you must get a “Funs of Daphne” Facebook page.
This is so funny I can’t even get back to work. I must pop down to LIDL where low and behold I can meet Mona again – yes, she’s not the 5* food connoisseur she would make herself out to be, as anyone who has met her can testify.
This is laugh-out-loud funny! I have the misfortune of working with Mona day in, day out. Thank you, Daphne! I shall revisit this with my morning coffee and a smile.
I also have the misfortune of working with her, myself and the other 200 staff at Betfair simply can’t stand this uncouth woman who is a constant source of amusement.
To try to win friends and due to the fact that nobody wants to talk to her anymore, she brought everyone a little flower and placed it on our desks – how sweet. Time to move on, Mona – don’t let the door hit you on the way out.
How vile, Steve!
Well, it was obvious from the start, really. She calls restaurants ‘eateries’.
Please people, she isn’t a chavette. She is just misunderstood.
This is taken from her Facebook page. Chavvy? You decide – but a little too much info, Mona love, bless you anyway.
Mona Farrugia: Can somebody please explain what the fuck that was?! 3 hours to get home. I wanted to kiss the gate when I saw it open. Open mouth. Tongues and all
Mona Farrugia: would like to thank Melita for destroying her sex life. Did I ask for the Inter Channel? No I bloody well didn’t!
Mona Farrugia: is bringing out the Sonia Rykiel and the Jimmy Choos for tonights weddings
WOW Mona, you own a pair of Jimmy Choos. I am so impressed at that. You must be the only one in Malta, lucky girl.
If she has to shout from the rooftops that she owns a few nice things, one would expect she had nothing during her childhood so she feels the need to make up for it now.
She lives in a house with a GATE, does she? Is this Mona being subtle for once and letting us know that her house sits in GROUNDS, bhal ta’ Daphne?
Now this made me want to gag on my cornflakes:
“Mona is not a pseudonym. Mona is actually female, somewhere in her thirties, and human. In spite of popular misconception, she is not fat either. Thanks to a low-carb diet and much obsession with every beauty treatment available at the Transforma clinic, she’s a healthy size 8”.
In her 30s and a size 8! What mirror do you have at home Mona? Do tell me where you got it from I need to look a couple of sizes smaller and 10 years younger.
Mona Farrugia is 40. A bit old for an It Girl and a fantasy life of Jimmy Choos.
no SPTT is female, in her late 20s and with no connection or relation to Mona.
SPTT, if you have no connection or relationship to Mona then why are you so sure she would not stoop that low (and here we are, giving her the requisite 15 minutes of fame)?
I have to deal with her, so I know.
Daphne the last comment was not needed “Does she take change from dirty n******* ” why-why-why did you feel the need to include that?
[Daphne – Because that’s just how Arlette Baldacchino and her boyfriend Norman Lowell think of black people – as dirty niggers.]
I feel Daphne is going overboard here. Mona is a food critic not a politician. I am not interested in her personal life style, her husband, her education or her background. If you like her reviews you read them, if no you don’t.
[Daphne – SPTT, her personal lifestyle and her husband are exactly what she writes about (she glosses over the background and education). The restaurant reviews are a side issue. In fact, she doesn’t do those anymore because she’s been sacked. Her website is now about anything but restaurants – hence her engagement of Norman Lowell’s girlfriend as shopping editor. Why would a restaurant critic need a shopping editor?]
I feel Daphne is targeting her unjustly because of her connection with Letty.
[Daphne – Not at all. But even if that were so, she can’t expect to engage a Far Right activist – one who actually speaks at National Front meetings in London, by invitation (incoherently, but that’s not the point) as a ‘shopping editor’ and expect nobody to say anything. Mona has tried to sell herself as Malta’s Tara Palmer Tomkinson – so she should fully expect the sort of mockery that TPT got. And TPT came from a very smart background – she wasn’t pretending and fantasising, like Mona Farrugia who sold underpants from her father’s stall at the Birzebbuga market. Give me Mona Farrugia the honest-to-goodness market-girl any day, but not Mona Farrugia the lying, boastful show-off and desperate social climber. My problem with her is actually professional: if you are hollow and have created a false image of yourself out of nothing, then you can’t write with depth and credibility. And that’s precisely why her writing rings false – because it is false. Even the style is modelled on somebody else’s and is not her own.]
To answer your question, I’m an uninterested party. I simply read her articles and happen to like them. With regards to food, she knows her stuff and 9 times out of 10 I agree with her ratings. That simple. No rocket science here. I know the truth might sound be boring, but no we don’t all have hidden agendas.
[Daphne – STPP, believe me when I say that she doesn’t know her stuff. I own and edit a food magazine and have done so for six years. One of the reasons I never commissioned her to write anything for me after an initial one piece is that she really hasn’t got a clue. The other reason is that I didn’t want her using Taste magazine’s name to cadge free stuff without my knowledge. Her restaurant reviews are in fact a source of great amusement to me and to some real food writers who shall go unnamed. We occasionally used to read them out to each other over the telephone and laugh, as when she described (pompously) her anger at some restaurateur who didn’t know that green bell-peppers and red bell-peppers are two different plants. No doubt, the restaurateur was only humouring her politely, given that green bell-peppers are unripe red bell-peppers.]
…and she calls gravy ‘sauce’. All in all, she just thinks she is at par with Michael Winner and A. A. Gill, and it’s gone to her head. She also mimics their style, follows their tips and then passes them on as her own.
Winner, a decade ago, wrote that La Mamounia was his favourite hotel – lo and behold, Mona reviews it as soon as it’s refurbished.
Same for A. A. Gill and the Wolseley. Try the Wolseley whilst in London (it’s gone down the drain) and then read her review (in which she over hypes the place) and you’ll notice that she hasn’t even been to that ‘eatery’ in person.
And she is way too cool to rave on about the Hummingbird in Notting Hill – oh no, the red velvet cup cakes are not worth the mention.
But she goes on to brag that her cookbook was sold out in Notting Hill, when any serious foodie in the area would have suggested popping by at Ottolenghi and buying their cookbook – obviously undiscovered territory for this acclaimed food writer.
Simply brilliant, Daphne – I am laughing so hard I actually feel I owe you money, knowing who Mona is and now visualising her selling underpants from the family stall has just made my week.
Keep up the good work, Daphne
P.S can I be a “fun” of yours?
Daphne your response to some comments is real ‘nail on the head’ stuff. A startingly real portrayal.
Didn’t she publish a “healthy-cooking” book with Alex Manche’?
[Daphne – Not healthy cooking, but no-carb cooking. That’s not in the least bit healthy, because the human body needs a balanced diet, and that includes carbohydrates.]
If it is so unhealthy how come it is endorsed by a renowned surgeon like Manche?
[Daphne – That’s what everyone wanted to know. Manche practises that diet himself, but then the originator of the no carb/low carb diet was a doctor, too. The thing about Alex Manche is that he is an exceedingly nice and helpful man. Faced with the heavy onslaught of Mona’s persuasion techniques, he would have been unable to put up a fight.]
Faced with the heavy onslaught of Mona’s persuasion techniques.
Oh come on, you make her sound like she kidnapped Dr. Manche and tortured him till he complied. Plus there’s the Hilton’s Exec Chef as well, Joe Vella. Did she kidnap him as well?
[Daphne – Talk to me after you’ve been at the receiving end of 10 telephone calls a day from Mrs Pushy. No, she just uses him, by deploying the same techniques. Her wedding reception done and dusted (another exercise in bumming), she has now transferred her attentions to Claude Camilleri at Palazzo Santa Rosa, another gentle soul who can’t say no.]
Mona is nothing but a first-class bum – your only payment is the privilege of working for her. She’s tried it on with interior designers, architects, even builders. So I’m not going to be surprised that she’s freeloaded flights and holidays.
Those who have had even their Eur100 bills for professional services left unpaid are sickened to read her boasting about luxury jaunts. And yes, she is oh, so mittilkless.
‘Normal’ Lowell indeed! Hahaha! You’re dead right about the amount of maniacs on the rock.
I am enjoying reading these comments about Ms Mona – having worked with her I agree with all your comments, Daphne. Quite an interesting personal life – Ms Posh selling underpants at Birzebbugia market – makes me laugh. Does she include this in her CV? She never told us this at work. You cant imagine what a big party we made when she was sacked. She left and peace returned to the workplace.
I’ve worked with Mona and here are some of her hot tips.
Mona Trick 1#: buy the top heads in the office a little prezzie every week to suck up.
Mona Trick 2#: report anyone and everyone to HR at least once per day to make it seem like you are the victim.
Mona Trick 3#: take sick leave to work on your poor excuse of a website. Well, there are only so many hours during the working day to spend on personal errands, articles and blogs.
I worked with her in her last job and she was a regular in the HR section with tell-tale stories. We did have some drinks to celebrate her leaving.
I had heard that she was on forced leave from MIA, but didn’t really believe it. I always put it down to envy by her colleagues.
Trick #1 and #2 are so spot on it’s painful .. probably #3 too, but the site was done by then.
She’s lucky because her manager is in the UK and can’t see what’s going on. No need for sick leave.
And so in just a few more hours I will have to face Mona once more at the office. Sure she will be straight to Human Resources to cry about all the nasty comments and they will feel sorry for her – but all this is true. Betfair, wake up – Mona doesn’t fit in with the rest of the office and she’s killing the harmony.
Not a great advert for any company thinking of giving this Imperium Europa supporter a job. Perhaps we should we just call them what they are – racist scum.
No, you all have it wrong – she only wants to help us. She isn’t on the take from anyone. Look at this class email she sent to all the office staff. You just can’t beat the last sentence.
Hi everybody,
I have been approached by xxxxxxxx.
They would like to make an offer to all Betfair International staff: they are saying they will at least match, but in 99% of cases, beat, any kind of offer that we find on the market for flights, accommodation and packages.
xxxxxxxl are honeymoon, long-haul and cruise specialists. Very few agencies on the island are of their kind of personal calibre. They take a personal interest and some of the hotels on their books are amazing. They have specialists for Africa and Asia working for them. If I could give a personal recommendation at this point, I most definitely would.
Their website is here http://www.xxxxxxx. You can also email them on info@xxxxxxxx
And I assure you that contrary to Maltese tradition, I will not make any commission from this.
Mona
Daphne can’t read the last post text is white?
Hmm. I always wondered how she could afford such fab holidays. Now we know! Lying toerag was cadging them for free.
Moaner Farrugia is definitely not a size 8.
Freeloader,
Is xxxxx travel agency Royal Travel, by any chance? Because Mona, poor thing, only discovered the great offers they have AFTER she came back from Mauritius. But being the good soul that she is, she told everyone about them anyway in her review, so that we will not commit her same mistakes.
And you can’t deny that she’s also verrry brave. Just see what she did for us, the hoi polloi without connection :
“I had a chat with a few people at Air Malta. Guys, I said, we know it’s difficult, but it’s not rocket science. That food needs to change. It is foul and tasteless at the same time. It looks bad. Someone is not testing it at 35,000 feet and you’re unleashing it on the passengers.
And you know what? They actually listened. I doubt they listened to me, but somebody in there is making an effort. A month ago I got a call. ‘Try it now and tell us what you think’.
@Miss C
Let’s face it – who doesn’t moan at airline food. It’s part of flying isn’t it? But don’t be so naive to think that Mona single-handed changed the old menu. Have a look at her website and see all the butt kissing she is doing to Air Malta now, but then I’m a sceptic – she can’t have any hidden agenda now, can she. It’s not in her DNA.
Nevertheless, you can’t expect to send a mail to the staff of a betting internet company that has no connection with a travel agent putting “And I assure you that contrary to Maltese tradition, I will not make any commission from this” and expect it to go unnoticed.
I have no issue with her getting stuff for free – good luck if she can – but don’t screw over people and try to be royalty when you come from the gutter.
Mona, just be yourself – you are oh so transparent. We all see through you.
M.