The bunny-boilers have got it wrong again
One for the bunny-boilers: Vladimir the Transsexual's grandmother, painted by her mother's brother - and no, she wasn't actually a chicken hawker
PICTURE SHOWS MY GRANDMOTHER HOLDING THE ANCESTORS OF LABOUR’S COMMUNICATIONS SUPREMOS
Having had their fondly held belief that I’m a pushy hamalla chav mittilkless social climber with an inferiority complex (like them, in other words) who married above my station nicely blown up in their gormless faces, the bunny-boilers and striped adventurers at tasteyourownmedicine.com are busy tangling themselves up in the leaves, twigs and branches of my family tree.
Occasionally, they fall out and hit the ground with a spectacular thump. Well, in Kurt Farrugia’s case, that would be more of a plop and a bounce, but anyway.
Not being the best possible strategists – this is Labour, after all – they didn’t think to check the facts before they embarked on their Cunning Tactic, as a result of which they find, to their great and abiding dismay, that they have exposed me as being rather the opposite of what they thought.
My God, how embarrassing – for them. Another Labour f**k up to add to the rest.
We have now moved from ‘Daphne is a cheap hamalla nobody who forced her husband to marry her because he is better than her’ to ‘Miskina Daphne the only nobody in a family filled with illustrious ancestors’. Qishom qabda mgienen ifissati, trying to paint themselves out of the corners they’ve painted themselves into.
That’s right: they’ve dedicated an entire website to discussing the entrails of a nobody, and they’re at it 24/7 with forensic obsession and manic fixation. They must be mad, to waste their time like that on somebody they deem to be so insignificant.
And it’s quite fascinating, isn’t it, that the trail-blazers and communications coconuts of a purportedly left-wing party with progressive socialist ideas should be so utterly obsessed with genealogy, status and social standing. They remind me of those maids on the No. 62 bus to Sliema, boasting about which one’s ‘sinjura’ is more important and richer than the rest.
Now they’re in a bit of a fix, and it’s back to the drawing-board for Plan H. “At this rate, Kurt, we’re going to have to pull that ‘spawn of Satan’ trick.” “No, Jes, let’s keep that for emergencies.” “But Kurt, this IS an emergency. We’re running out of lies and bullshit.”
I particularly liked their Eureka moment: Caruana Galizia and Caruana Dingli both have a Caruana in them, therefore Daphne’s husband is related to the Caruana Dinglis and she isn’t because her surname is Vella, which means that Daphne’s husband is ‘better’ than Daphne ghax ghandu pittur.
Yes, I know they sound pathetic and desperate and believe me, they are.
But oh sweet, sweet irony – they really jumped into this latest one, feet first.
Allow me to put you out of your misery, bunny-boilers, and write about myself in the third person so that you might cut and paste and not tie yourself up into further tangles.
Put your finger beneath each word, concentrate hard and move your lips as you read.
Daphne’s husband is not related to the Caruana Dinglis (though he is related to Daphne – work that one out). Daphne, on the other hand, is the great-granddaughter of Antonia Caruana Dingli, a sister to the painters Edward and Robert. Yes, there are four people called Caruana Galizia who are direct descendants of (as opposed to ‘imhalltin ma‘) Raphael Caruana Dingli (the painters’ father). They are Daphne and her three sons.
Yes, bunny-boilers and striped adventurers, Edward and Robert Caruana Dingli were my father Michael Vella’s great-uncles, his grandmother’s brothers. His mother Helen Marich (no, not Caruana Dingli – work it out) modelled for her uncle Edward’s two best-known paintings, which have been reproduced thousands of times on endless calendars, postcards and postage stamps: The Chicken Hawker and Woman in a Faldetta, both in the collection of the Phoenicia Hotel.
When an exhibition of my great-grandmother’s brother Edward Caruana Dingli’s paintings opens at the Palace in Valletta next month, I urge you – neurotic and fixated bunny-boilers – to run along with your little palm pilots or whatever it is the moderate and progressive use these days, and take notes for further investigation of Vladimir the Transsexual’s roots.
You’ll find all sorts of family portraits there, enough to keep you amused for days: my great-great-grandparents Raphael Caruana Dingli and Martha Garroni (lots of scope for investigation there, what with 19th century bishops, Gozo and links to the Bondis – my, what thrills), my great-great-grandfather Francesco Pace (a portrait on loan from the Chamber of Commerce, where it hangs along with that of his grandson, my grandfather Louis Vella, painted by Esprit Barthet), my grandfather’s sister Agnes Montanaro Gauci (nee Vella), their first cousin May Asphar (mother nee Vella) and her husband (and second cousin to all three) Victor Caruana Galizia (grandmother nee Vella; NB not my father-in-law) – cue more confused flapping among the chickens – and so many countless, endless second cousins that I can’t be fagged to mention them.
Nor do I care.
Bunny-boilers, you’ll just have to work it out for yourselves. You never know – somewhere you might find what you’re looking for: proof that I’m descended from Satan, perhaps, and that yes, oh look, I am a hamalla baxxa social climber who’s riven with jealousy because I’m not as ‘high kless’ as Giannella, Marlene and Consuelo (yes, really – unbelievable).
Back to that drawing-board, striped adventurers, and make sure to take a large Thermos flask with you, containing whatever it is that the mittilkless drinks nowadays. You’re going to need it.
Be strong, and remember at all times that five stupid people do not add up to make one intelligent person. So gathering more and more malicious dullards as reinforcements in your project is pretty pointless. Two half-wits do not make one full-witted person, so hauling them aboard your ship of fools does nothing but exponentially increase the risk of effing up yet again.
But surely you’ve discovered that by now.
Good night, sleep tight, and be sure to rise mat-tigieg. Unlike me, you do not have the luxury of making your own hours, but never mind, some day you might get there – though the only likelihood of that is when you’re unemployed or paid by The People when il-partit taghkom is in government and some godfather allows you to bunk off work. With your particular set of skills, I can’t see you making it anywhere fast in the private sector.
Vladimir the Transsexual
Spawn of Satan
Mother of Demons
666
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Edward Caruana Dingli! I remember the picture at granny’s house.
Your granny being …?
H. P. Baxxter, the silence is deafening.
I do not spend my time on this blog, you know. I think there’s been a misunderstanding here. It was a print, not the original painting.
Please note that the person signing Genoveffa on the TYOM crap is not me – my Avatar maybe? These numbskulls don’t even seem to be creative enough to find a nick. They’ve copied others too I’ve noticed.
I hope they are not avataring me also, because I am not watching their space. I buy my medicine at the local pharmacy.
That’s part of their Cunning Plan to get Daphne to think that the people commenting here are double-dealing her.
Except that they can’t get the spelling right or even the writing style.
I notice James Tyrrell’s a fan. Maybe he thinks they’ll find him a job in Gozo.
I am so loving The Caps!
Well, they can hardly use the name Marie, Josanne or Claire, can they?
Or Erika Brincat, it-tifla ta’ Herr Flick u hadra ohra tal-klikka ta’ Marie Benoit, Josanne Cassar u Claire Bonello. Dawk bunny-boilers zgur.
I bet that they went off track when you wrote “NB not my father-in-law”. They must still be deciding what NB means.
Well, yes – I suppose they would use !!!!!!!!!??????!!!!!!! in place of NB.
check this out……
Protesta kontra t-tneħħija ta’ Marsh minn fuq Radju Super One
Joe Debono Grech: “Ma nistax nifhem kif dawk li dejjem ħadmu għall-Partit nagħtuhom bis-sieq”
Tajjeb sejjer Jasoin is-Super One.
Oh My God! I can hear wings flapping, feathers are flying and oh lots and lots of headless chickens trying to work out that puzzle. I wish to be a fly on wall and able to see those weirdos trying to work it out. Thank you, Daphne, you started my day on a very good note – cannot keep the smile off my face.
Here’s my own conspiracy theory, you’re the one behind TYOM.com , this site is too bad to be true.
If Daphne were behind it, it would be brilliant and effective. But I see what you mean.
Horrible visions of gormless bunny-boilers horribly entangled by their hair, Absalom like, dangling from the strong branches of Daphne’s family tree!
Spawn of Satan
Mother of Demons
666
What’s this obsession with demonology?
Is the Labour Party in transcendence mode moving from a violent and turbulent past to white magic in a puerile attempt to silence the truth or is it ignorance at its very best?
My guess is it’s a bit of both.
The explanation simpler: they think like medieval peasants. Witches, demons, magic spells, strange powers, people who voice their opinion are mad (because it brings retribution), bad women and good women (burn the former). Very primitive.
You just have to look at the funny side: they’re so busy calling other people ugly that they don’t have time to assess the looks of Alex Saliba, Chris AgUIs, Keith Darmanin and all the other Mister World candidates in their grotto.
[Daphne – I think you miss the point. In their progressively moderate world view, women have to be the human equivalent of kittens, but men are allowed to be as ugly and misshapen as sin. I remember discussing this in an article around 18 years ago, arguing about how men are allowed to go into battle in a baggy suit with dandruff on their shoulders, but women must be perfect.]
And the net conclusion is supposed to be that Labour should govern. No explanation is necessary, as the ‘truth’ is supposedly self-evident.
If you want ugly and misshapen, get a load of Aleks Farrugia, editor of It-Torca and buddy of Toni Abela. His wife looks like hell, too – but then he wasn’t about to land himself a foxy minx when he looks like a trailer-trash kiddy-fiddler who spends his days on the sofa watching porn and drinking soft drinks.
Ga qeghdin tajjeb tal-PL/TYOM bit-tqanzieh u c-cuccati li qed jiktbu ghaliex ma jistghu jsibu xejn konkret fejn iqabbdu id-dwifer maghmuga li ghandhom. Hlief gideb fahxi u tajjir infantili ma jghidhux – issa hx**tilhom il-pipa ghal-darba ghaliex fqajtilhom din l-ahhar buzzieqa ukoll. Prosit. Wahda u tajba.
Issa sew ghax hawwatilhom il-wires ta’ mohhom! Tassew ghandhom x’jomghodu msieken.
I noticed how the idiots said that your father-in-law was a professor of law (wrong), and concluded by saying: you see – we know exactly who her relatives are. Best not to meddle when you’re out of your depth.
Wehn you dont understand is beter to dont try – except that they do, again and again but still get it horribly wrong.
Good one. It’s funny how they so many people spend so much time rooting around for salacious details and only manage to come up with a meaningless pastiche.
Wiehed il-iehor tat TYOM.com: “Ejja, ara din. Ara daqsxejn xkitbet din. Pastiche x’ikun?”
Probabbli jahsbu li “pastiche” dak li huma jghidu “paccu”.
But why do you even bother giving them the attention?
When the site first came out I visited out of curiosity, and I first heard of it from you, but seeing what an amateur joke it is, I don’t even visit it for fun any more.
[Daphne – Disabusing them of their stupid notions is one of life’s pleasures, David, and they’ve given me an unprecedented opportunity to debunk the myths and lies they have been spreading about me for years. Because they believed those myths and lies to be true, it never occurred to them that their strategy would backfire splendidly by giving me the perfect platform for putting a rocket under their rubbish. These are people who live sordid lives and who can’t believe that others conduct themselves differently. They are also exposing their prejudices, which are very unusual for people who claim to be the front-liners for modern, progressive, left-wing politics. They have the peasant’s unquestioning respect for social status (without illustrious forebears, you are nothing and nobody and getting above your station), a debilitating inferiority complex (we hate her because she thinks she’s better than us but she’s not and we’ll show her), contempt for women (the nature of their insults); a pre-1950s view of women’s place in society (women don’t behave like that or have loud and public opinions, therefore she must be a man); contempt for homosexuals and transsexuals; and a pre-Enlightenment view of ‘bad women’ (witches, burn them). Essentially, they remain the products of undeveloped, preliterate peasant society – university degrees notwithstanding. Social change happens over generations in families, not overnight. What happens overnight is an academic education.]
I agree it’s not even funny. The first couple of posts were, the first time around, but now they’ve ruined it with their nut-job talk, sarcastic bile, constant lying and childishness.
It really shows that the posts were written by a bunch of brainless individuals who have no aptitude for writing or any other skill. I would want to talk about the substance of their writing, but I am afraid there is nothing to write about.
The comments left on the board are just sad. They aren’t even worth responding.
The site misses the point. It is supposed to counteract this one, but…how? All they seem able to do is lie and rumour-monger. Well, one of their wishes has come true – they’ve got an audience, but not quite the reaction they expected.
I think you are giving them too much importance. I don’t care much about your family tree – what I would like to read about are arguments which contradict your sound arguments against a public official.
Your motives could have been evil, you could have been the daughter of a drug pusher, and you could look like ‘il-kecwiela’ for all I care. I’m concerned about the ‘no reaction’ from the ‘powers that be’ that a magistrate lied under oath in court and has not been prosecuted in court about it.
Your grandmother had a great smile!
Her granddaughters have great smiles too.
Other then the clicks they claim to have, you will not hear that site being mentioned anywhere in the real world, unlike this one.
I am getting the impression that the Labour leadership are terribly allergic to people who think and use their brains properly.
Obviously – we’re the ones pointing out that they haven’t got any policies and that their leader is a Super One ‘gunrlaist’ promoted beyond his abilities.
Lie down and weep. They just don’t get irony, do they? Here’s their take on what you wrote. Daphne, please tell them that ‘the lifts guy’ is your father, and that you’ve mentioned him here several times, and please, please, don’t ever again use irony when writing for the consumption of elves, because they take things literally, hence:
#3 sanscoulotte 2010-04-09 10:04 The plus point is that she is honest enough to admit that “yes, oh look, I am a hamalla baxxa social climber who’s riven with jealousy because I’m not as ‘high kless’ as Giannella, Marlene and Consuelo. The minus point is that in her list of high class ancestors,she failed to mention the lifts guy.
‘High class’. Love it. Il-vera peasants, kif ghidt inti.
Ah, but Daphne didn’t mention it in this post and she didn’t deny it so it must be true that she didn’t mention it so it must be true that they’re right that she didn’t mention it here so she must be hiding something that she didn’t mention and it’s true because she didn’t mention it.
La Redoute, you’ve just reminded me of Alice in the Vicar of Dibbley – where she talks about ” I can’t believe it’s not Butter”. Could it be that they are related to Alice and inherited her propensity to take things literally.
Great respect (really) for Giannella – but I think she is very proud of her humble origins. I suppose, Labour never really understood that having a “good” brain does not come from social background. Perhaps somebody will explain where Marlene and Consuelo got their “high class” because I think that these also are of humble origin and though they should be proud of this, it is a great shame that they did not take care of their dignity.
Daphne, at this point, after having “taken note” for long, I have to make a public declaration that I am neither one of your ancestors nor related to you.
On the other hand, I must say that I am impressed by the picture you show here. The face is almost real, and what a handsome face really. Very beautiful painting indeed. Not just the face. The bare feet add sensuality to the image.
[Daphne – The face is ‘almost real’ because it is a true portrait of my grandmother. It is a real face, rather than one of the generic faces Caruana Dingli used in his folklore paintings. The woman in the ‘faldetta’ painting has just such a generic face – my grandmother was the body model for that one. She kept a framed photograph of herself wearing that faldetta and posing for the painting. Yes, she was a very good-looking woman, but strangely enough, even though the face is a true likeness, it is the feet which give away her identity even if the face is covered. She had distinctive feet, very narrow, pointed and elegant, and she was immensely proud of them.]
You see, appreciation of the arts is one of my …errrm…good qualities.
And with delicious irony, she posed as a chicken vendor for this painting. No wonder the chicken brains are so excited. They must have recognised their relatives u allura jigu minn Defni wkoll.
La Redoute, they now have a glimpse of their ancestors, must be from about a 100 years ago. I always doubted Darwin’s evolution theory.
She looks exactly like your sister Corinne.
Actually, I didn’t look like her at all.
They can’t read, can they? Or pronounce ‘th’…
“Dan sakemm your mudder’s brudder ma kienx giddieb bhalek, u kien ipingi l-affarijiet kif jarahom hu flok kif inhuma vera.”
“…my great-great-grandparents Raphael Caruana Dingli and Martha Garroni (lots of scope for investigation there, what with 19th century bishops, Gozo and links to the Bondis – my, what thrills),”
Watch. Them subspecies will zero in on the Bondis and figure out that Lou Bondi is ‘imhallat mieghek’. No wonder his programme was fined a few euro for not having someone opposing Tonio Borg’s views on Bondi+.
Some freedom of expression!
[Daphne – Suggested quote: “Bondi, Gatt u Vladimir jigu minn xulxin. Ghalhekk it-tlieta li huma suwed, arroganti u psatas daghwa.”
@Jomar
Please remind us who was “opposing” Joseph Muscat a couple of weeks ago, on the similar Bondi+ programme.
Why are the likes of you so blinkered?