Free schools, free hospitals and now – cheaper erections
You have parliamentary secretary Chris Said to thank for my new, cheaper erection, darling. Shame you're over 40 and we can't save even more money on sex by putting you on the pill. I must have a word with the prime minister about reducing the price of condoms. Just don't shout 'Chris Said' when you come.
Yesterday, I drew your attention to the fact that the government list of new cheaper medicines includes such absurdities as Canesten pessaries and Yasmin contraceptive pills.
Today, a couple of people pointed out to me something that I would have LOVED to have known before I wrote that article. There is an even more absurd inclusion in that list: Levitra, a Vaigra-type pill which men take to help them get and maintain an erection.
The government just has to be joking.
The election (erection?) campaign slogans just write themselves.
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No wonder Gadget hasn’t complained, he can get his must-have pills cheap now.
GETTING IT ON HAS NEVER COST SO LITTLE – VOTE PN
VOTE CHRIS SAID FOR CHEAPER ERECTIONS
THE NATIONALIST PARTY – BRINGING PEOPLE CLOSER
PN CUTS DOWN ON SINGLE MOTHERHOOD BY FORCING DOWN PRICE OF ONE BRAND OF CONTRACEPTIVE PILL
CHRIS SAID HELPS YOU ENTER HER ALL NIGHT LONG
MAKE LIKE A BUNNY WITH THE PARLIAMENTARY SECRETARY FOR CONSUMERS, FAIR COMPETITION, LOCAL COUNCILS AND PUBLIC DIALOGUE
SEX IS CHEAPER WITH CHRIS SAID
VOTE CHRIS FOR CHEAP SEX
Give me a moment to check my Junk Mail folder for inspiration. I might be back with more.
Sale-Sale-Sale
Iffranka, iffranka, iffranka!
Sale kbir ta’ pirmli biex jerga jqumlek, u biex il-mara ma tohrogx tqila.
B’ghaxar ewro biss fix-xahar jista jkollok x’taqsam mal-mara kemm trid u kull meta trid minghajr ma taqta’ l-pizza ta’ nhar tas-Sibt!
Offerta spettakolari!
Irrikorru issa stess ghand il-PS Ghall-Konsumaturi, Kompetizzjoni, Kunsilli Lokali u Djalogu.
Perhaps they can get Charles Abela Medici to read the ground-breakingly original script.
If my erection lasts longer than uttering “Chris Said Parliamentary Secretary for Consumers, Fair Competiton, Local Councils and Public Dialogue” I won’t be needing Levitra.
What a good one, Rover!
Now imagine if you have to add “Onorevoli” and perhaps “Doktor” before all that…
Easier done than said.
Well, I suppose that Levitra must be within the competency of the Parliamentary Secretary for FAIR COMPETITION.
Level the ground I say. And, at an affordable price.
Or else, Esteve, it can be within the competence of the Minister for the Family. He or she can claim that it is part of government’s policy in favour of the family and procreation.
SAID, DRUGS AND ROCK ‘N ROLL
Kulhadd kuntent, kulhadd dahqan ghax ma Chris Said ma’ jorqod qadt.
Said and the City
Nessun dorma
Vote Chris – He’ll Never Let You Down
Chris Said: Morning Glory, Night-long Might
from the Malta Independent:
PARLIAMENTARY SECRETARY: RIGHT TO BONER
Addressing Local Councils during a public dialogue, Dr Chris Said emphasised fair competition for consumers: all men have a fundamental human right to boner
from The Times:
DECREASE IN FEMALE FRUSTRATION REPORTED
Women’s Rights Associations Publicly Praise and Thank PS Said
from Malta Today:
CHRISTIAN FANATICS HARD ON PARL SEC
Christian Fringe Groups Criticise Harshly Chris Said for Extending Sexual Pleasure Duration
from mltatsatr:
CIRS SAJD FaVoURs JEwisH ImpoRTers
ParLIAmentSary Screterey to Lawrenec GONziPN favouRS JewiSH FirM LEVI-TRA – PL DepuTY Leader Farrgiua has prrof of PL votERs exChngin voTe for Sex Potion
from Blogsters Anonymous:
Consuelo Scerri Herrera sends Thank You card to Levitra Importers.
Is that maltastar giving another reason to Graffiti, that left wing HARD line group, to protest again next to the Auberge de Castille?
Medicini li ma jqumux wisq. Sabiex iqumlek aktar.
Hadtieli minn halqi, HP. Tqumlek inqas, biex iqumlek izjed.
Iva, fil-fatt jien ma kontx slick bizzejjed. L-isbah tkun xi haga kompatta bhal: SABIEX IQUMLEK MINGHAJR MA JQUMLEK.
Inkella forma ta’ vignette kif kultant tara fir-riklami:
“Joe, fejn se tohodni llejla? Ilna gimgha naraw futbol.”
“U fejn tridni niehdok, Doris? Lanqas pizza ghal tnejn m’ghadni naffordja, b’dal-kontijiet….”
“Dejjem nistghu nghaddu lejla gewwa, Joe…”
“Nixtieq Doris, imma l-ispirtu jrid, izda l-gisem dghajjef.”
“Haga zghira, Joe! Bil-hila tal-pirmli ta’ Chris Said issa tista’ taghmel disghin minuta, u bl-extra time u penalties ukoll!”
“Imma kemm iqumli?”
“Kwazi xejn!”
“Mela ghalxejn, Doris!”
“U le Joe, fhimtni hazin!” [cue giggling]
“Mela arani gej, Doris. Imma qabel nordnaw pizza take-away, ghax issa, naffordjawha.”
Chris Said, Parliamentary Secretary for PUBIC Dialogue
Three of my favourite songs come to mind:-
Could it be magic?
Here, there and everywhere
All night long
Credits all go to Chris Said of course, for making the necessary tools much more affordable. Haqqhu xi bicca bronze bhala ringrazzjament (no pun intended).
I think that most of your comments regarding Chris Said insult him unjustifiably. He has had consumer affairs in his portfolio for only a few months. Besides, he’s one of the most delivering members in the cabinet.
Also, such low level of comments (hanut tax-xorb style) , albeit amusing, contrast with a number of profound and intelligent discussions which you’ve had in other posts.
Thus, I feel this is also an insult to Daphne’s level of journalism.
[Daphne – Ma, xi dwejjaq ta’ nies.]
x’dwejjaq ghandek, K. Farrugia, hallina kwieti ha nidhqu ftit !
True miskin, after all Chris Said is only following our Innu tal-PN: “Ejjew Nazzjonalisti, QUMU bl-eluf min taghkom”
Oh do lighten up K Farrugia. B’nej*a gejna, u b’xi nej*a inmorru.
@K Farrugia
I think Daphne had stated that this blog belongs to the entertainment business, which in itself, is a serious business. But one should not take things too seriously.
I do “profound and intelligent” every day of the sodding week. Surely I’m allowed a bit of “hanut tax-xorb” talk?
Har-har. Delivering indeed. More like wasting his own time, that of his staff and of assorted businessmen. To what end? Ah… for the people to have better and safer sex.
And to add insult to injury, his secretariat is wasting hundreds of euros to publicize this non-achievement in the papers.
Yes, Said for PM.
@K Farruggia
Ajma mela ghax Daphne kolta u ghandha livell gholi ta’ gurnalizmu, ma tistax tidhaq jew? How boring some of you people are.
Besides, what s wrong with “hanut tax-xorb style” as long as it s not vulgarity or swearing? Some people just get mad when they see others having some fun. And, in my opinion, we are not insulting Dr Said.
Not one of us went personal as you can see for yourself. Having said that, I don’t actually see THAT much delivering in this case. You go to sleep u serrah rasek ta, none of us would dream of insulting her level of journalism – it’s practically impossible.
Speaking for myself, lanqas jekk nghix hamsin sena ohra ma li ghandhi m’ jien qatt se nlahhaq maghha, ahseb u ara innizzillha il-livell ta’ gurnalizmu. Kellhi bzonn kapaci hekk.
Full marks for your reply to K.F.: Everybody seems to be hurt by a mosquito bite, but for Daphne, being hard hit, it doesn’t matter.
Try this:
Chris, gabek bhall Stalljun
lest ghar-refa,
x’hin ikun
min x’hin torqod sa’ ma’ tqum
t’uzah dejjem malli jqum’
Oh Chris Said, xi grazzja tajtni.
Kont imghawweg hu drittajtni.
Issa kollox sar possibbli.
Dak li ma’ kien jaghmel xejn
F’daqqa wahda sar qisu ‘crane’.
Issa jahdem,
Issa wieqaf,
jahdem dejjem, bla ma’ jieqaf.
Min nar ta’ tnejn sa’ nar ta’ hadd
Jissodissfa lill kulhadd.
Ghaziz Sur Flores,
Jien hawnhek qed niehu att
mill-frazi “Jissodisfa lil kulhadd”.
Ha nifhem sewwa x’qieghed tghid
Ghax donnu l-pirmli ta’ Chris Said
Mhux biss tawwlu l-erezzjoni
Izda wessghu l-orjentazzjoni.
X’ridt tghid bih dan l-ahhar vers
Hekk imqareb u pervers?
Dal-pirmli uzati ghas-seks
Joholqu wkoll xi side effects?
Ma nixtieqx nithaddet car
Ghax dal blog jaqrawh iz-zghar:
Imma dal-pirmli tad-Deputat
Ghandhom effett indeziderat
Li flok timmira fejn suppost
Tibda “tilghab mat-team oppost”?
Illostra, that’s how supportive of people who need help in their sex lives you are?!
Gem-gem-gem-gem-gem-gem-gem! Get a life all of you!
Pity this blog has gone to the margins of vulgarity – real pity
I’m glad to know that someone else shares my same thoughts.
Well, you know, maybe it’s to combat the ageing population.
I missed the EU train by just 10 bloody years – I will curse the years 1996 – 1998 forever.
I would have left Malta like a shot.
The “hanut tax-xorb” style is something we are accustomed to on maltastar.com, not on this blog. I did find some of the comments funny and amusing, however I did not like parts where Chris Said was personally involved in the joke, such as:
“Just don’t shout ‘Chris Said’ when you come.”
“SEX IS CHEAPER WITH CHRIS SAID”
“Chris Said: Morning Glory, Night-long Might”.
These comments are, indeed, vulgar. You wouldn’t say phrases such as “morning glory” or “when you come” in a sexual context to someone unless that someone hears vulgarities from you all the time.
[Daphne – Has it occurred to you that Chris Said was just – oh dear – asking for it? If he didn’t want any jokes, he should have checked WHICH medicines he conducted negotiations over and crossed contraceptive pills and penile dysfunction tablets off the list. For heaven’s sake.]
With “delivering”, I referred to Chris Said’s parliamentary secretary in general, this also includes other portfolios which he has had for a longer time such as local councils.
The success or failure of some academic conference is not dependent on the institution which organises it but depends upon the quality of its participants. Likewise, I believe that a blog’s success depends upon those who read posts and write their own comments.
I didn’t insult Daphne’s level of journalism, to put it the way you put it. I feel that, by allowing such a stream of comments, she degraded her level which we are used to.
[Daphne – Wrong. It is only those who are unsure of themselves or who seek to convince others of their great intelligence who take enormous care to put on a pompous, serious facade and never let it drop. I am equally at home playing the fool and discussing things seriously, and that’s how it’s going to stay.]
We can keep our minds at rest.This way we will never see the famous monument collapsing.
There’s going to be a baby boom come spring.
No, kollega profeta… because even Yasmin’s price has been made cheaper.
Isn’t erectile dysfunction also a health problem? So what’s this whole fuss? What a storm in a tea cup!
Dear Daphne, HP Baxxter and all the ones with quotes, witty comments and slogans. I love you all. I have been working all hours including weekends for the past month. I finally stopped to have a bite to eat and read Daphne. All I can say is Thank You all so much. I had a good laugh, feel less stressed and can continue working.