Michelle: a most useful appliance for the modern man
Michelle - she does things a Hoover just can't do
The Malta Economic Update carries an interview with Joseph Muscat. The questions are fawning, nauseating, and totally inappropriate for a business magazine (but there you go). And the answers are no better.
Here’s a sample, in which our future prime minister talks about his wife in a curiously detached and impersonal manner, as though she is some kind of wonderful new appliance he bought from Nancy at World Marketing, but with added benefits.
The Malta Economic Update/Q:
How instrumental and influential to your career and political success has your wife Michelle been?
Joseph Muscat/A:
I would say Michelle has been crucial in my life. Our relationship is mutual and unconditional. We have an extremely discerning, intense and interactive connection.
She is always there to listen and we agree where we have to agree, while we also agree on matters of divergent opinions. Michelle provides valuable sustenance, endowing long-term strategic guidance.
She is recognised for her contribution in philanthropic work and fund-raising efforts. She is always available to support me and raise our beautiful twin daughters, Etoile Ella and Soleil Sophie.
I am keen to emphasise the importance of acquiring her supportive role and to point out the invisibility of Michelle’s contributions to my achievement. I am proud that my wife carved out an independent career while at the same time she was an exemplary mother.
I am also extremely grateful that she is never too busy to put my ambitions first. Michelle motivates, understands and communicates. She has influenced, supported, challenged, and encouraged me to be who I am.
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The names of those poor twin girls become more hilarious by the day. The fact that Alan Montanaro poked fun at them in this year’s panto as well speaks volumes about how ridiculous they are.
Poor kids
In the third sentence, he somehow makes their relationship sound like a particularly efficient wireless internet. Michelle the Modem.
Priceless comment, Fairy. Love it!
“I am keen to emphasise the importance of acquiring her supportive role”
“I am also extremely grateful that she is never too busy to put my ambitions first.”
WTF
He thinks that she’s an acquisition, the ambitious little (well, not really anymore) man.
There is no way that reply was spontaneous. It must have taken days to come up with that convoluted (for him) language.
Couldn’t he have simply said that Michelle supported him all the way and he loved her for it, and he couldn’t be where he is without her support? It would have been so much more credible.
Then Soleil & Etoile…….what were they thinking? As Matt B pointed out, their mention was one of the highlights of the panto for me!!
He “acquired” her support … Il-veru tal-qallament!
Soleil Sophie and Etoile Ella please.
Sounds like a lesson in alliteration and assonance. We should have a censor board to scrutinise names before they’re given, to protect children from the stupidity of their parents.
Pass the sick bag
Re. the caption, you’d be surprised what a Hoover can do. Oh I’ve done it now.
[Daphne – Not original You got that line from Two And A Half Men. According to Charlie, Alan had a pet name for the vacuum cleaner.]
Not original, perhaps, but discovered independently. I never watched a single episode of Two And A Half Men. I am told, however, that chicks dig it because it is ‘intellectual and funny’, so it appears I’m in good company. Great minds, eh?
What the hell do you watch then, dearest Baxxter?
Of late memory, with the demise of Comedy Channel thanks to the service providers.
Baxxter, yes – great minds etc, but this continues with “fools never differ”.
I’ve left our green (well, sand-coloured) and sceptred isle once again, so I don’t get to watch any of that cable TV stuff, or Xarabank.
Besides, if I have it get it off some TV show then it’s no longer called wit, but strained plagiarism of the Zoo kind.
” She is always available to support me and raise our beautiful twin daughters, Etoile Ella and Soleil Sophie.”
Poor kids!
Poor Michelle ….isn’t she also beautiful?
One would think that this interview was for a gossip magazine.
“She is always there to listen and we agree where we have to agree, while we also agree on matters of divergent opinions”.
In other words “we talk, she listens, sometimes I hear her, and then I decide”
I think that Tony Abela’s outfit was designed either by Canali or Valentino, purchased either from London or Rome kemm u tan-n**k.
[Daphne – TonI Abela, please. Tony Abela is on the other side, and drives a large car with the number-plate IN-NUTAR.]
So THAT’s the twat who owns that particular car. Every time I see it parked in Valletta, I keep trying to think what kind of moronic nutar would own it. You’re a real WikiMalta, thanks.
Eh iva bil-haqq, Toni. You should have seen him wrapped in a white sheet on VIP Xow about 5 weeks ago. He was asked to unwrap himself.
Can you imagine Tonio Borg doing those things on television? Toni claims he will be the next deputy prime minister. He is a clown. No quality control at all.
“Michelle provides valuable sustenance, endowing long-term strategic guidance”.
What is she?
a) a food source
b) an economic policy of some sort
Lord help us…..
Qisa xi GPS jew boxla….
I think that when he mentioned “sustenance” he must have been thinking about the ginger bread men.
I will leave the twins out of this. After all it is not their fault that they were born to a couple of wallies.
If my wife of thirty-five years found out that I was talking crap like this about her, she would reach for the phone and call the psychiatric unit. I bet she would.
A quick look at the Malta Economic Update shows that it is moslty made up of advertorials with a full-page advert on the opposite page. Xejn ta’ sugu!
Must have gone through several sleepless nights trawling through the Oxford Dictionary and thesaurus to come up with these convoluted and verbose replies.
[Daphne – Oh, you mean you don’t think it was done face to face with a recorder and notes?]
You mean off-the-cuff ! Look at the rigid structure of the sentences .
Then again, he’s got plenty of room for notes on his cuffs….
Baxxter, you’re scintillating tonight.
I took it for granted that the inverview was an interview in writing.
Wait a minute. Maybe it was his (ahem!) PR assistant who gave the replies, not Joseph Muscat himself.
He’s our next PM. The PN are just shooting themselves in the foot and if they miss they keep right on trying.
X’diprexxin!
Any student can tell that that’s a load of BS one writes when you don’t know the answer to a question.
I’d give him a C+ for the effort.
Who wrote this crap for him? And The Malta Economic Update is a stooge publication in any case: you pay, we print – Stepford wife MkII
God…….give me strength
That’s why I left it :)
Ooooops Justin…I thought that you were asked to leave.
No – I resigned.
You must have heard an unfortunate rumour brewed from sour grapes.
I have just asked my wife whether our interactive connection is still on. She said only if I book a nice holiday.
(Oh, you mean you don’t think it was done face to face with a recorder and notes?)
You’re being sarcastic of course.
It is evident that the interviewer sent the questions by email.
Ah, but he says he went there, to the sprawling expanse of the Labour leader’s office, where he sat and listened to the Labour leader – and presumably accepted a printed sheet of answers, inserting the questions afterwards.
Oh my god, how can you go on mentioning the poor kids, comment about the political opinion of Dr. Muscat and leave his family out.
Well, it is Dr. Muscat himself who keeps mentioning them and showing them off at every chance. If he puts them in the limelight for his own selfish gain, then they are fair game for mention at least.
Look again Carmel – it’s actually the Muscats themselves who insist on mentioning/showcasing their children at every possible opportunity. They toss them into the glaring limelight on any occasion they deem fit, and are therefore actually inviting such comments.
Then again there is a great deal said about Dr. Muscat’s ‘political opinion’ in DCG’s Notebook, by the author as well as the many commentators, as a quick glance through the pertinent articles will confirm.
@Carmel – You seem to be overlooking the fact that it was Muscat himself who dragged Soleil Sophie and Etoile Ella into the matter.
Xi hlew, tan-NUTAR – I met him once and he seems to be full of himself. He put me off, and I do not think that he does credit to the PN.
But does she come with a guarantee? Because from the look of it she’s deteriorating rapidly. Time to exchange her for the latest model.
Joseph Muscat: “Decisions, even tough ones, would have still been taken had we been in government. We will not raise water and electricity bills without consulting stakeholders and whatever decision taken would be communicated clearly. We will not tax more the average-wage earner, including businesses and SME’s. Instead we will place the burden on polluters.”
I would have jumped at the chance to ask him which were the decisions which “would have still been taken”.
SME’s.”http://www.vallettaboatshow.com/meu/Default.aspx?tabid=73&ArticleId=59
So after all he would have taken the tough decisions like Gonzi did.
PL government will place the burden on polluters. What if there are not enough polluters to pay our bills?
From what I can deduce , Joseph will tax heavily Enemalta because according to him the new power station will have the dirtiest technology in the world. Enemalta will shift this polluter-pays-tax on the consumers or on the taxpayer.
Wouldn’t Labour tax also the construction industry?
What goes round comes around.
“…we agree where we have to agree, while we also agree on matters of divergent opinions”
Uhmm… agree… also agree… divergent… WHAT?
If I am not mistaken Tony (not Toni) Abela’s number plate is in honour of his father who, always if I’m not mistaken, was known as in-nutar.
Then TAN-NUTAR would have been a better choice.
Then what’s the number plate of his other car? “MAMA”?
No. It is “il-Mara tan-Nutar.”
The three letters “nut” have to be somewhere on the plate.
Your commentary and the comments thereon made my day. Thank you. I was slowly falling into a deprexxin.
Unbelievable…this is the kind of question a journalist for a business magazine asks the prospective prime minister?
Obama’s Michelle hej
How lucky I am to be living away from Malta. I hope that when there is a change in government and the Muscats are in power I am still away. Anzi, iktar minn qatt qabel.