Women as cows
I just cannot believe that letters like this one are still being published in a national newspaper, in this case, The Times. They are like remnants from my growing-up years, when we were besieged on all fronts by this kind of nonsense then blithely went home to read Jackie magazine and ignore them.
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PREMARITAL SEX MAY LEAD TO BROKEN MARRIAGES
by Alfred Hili, Xaghra
(…) As one woman said: “Why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free?” She said the biggest change in society was the pill.
People no longer had to control themselves and wait till marriage.
Young adults are less fearful as they have more access to information and men expect women to be on the pill and available for sex. (..) Pre-marital sex may be accompanied with excitement, thrill, the pleasure of it, but there is no happiness. After you are done with it, you feel empty and seek the next experience, which thus becomes an addiction.
Pre-marital sex will only break your heart and cause pain and all too often people get too caught up to even realise it. Pre-marital relations hardly ever work. Sex before marriage creates self-centred gratification – using a person to satisfy one’s selfish desires. If we do not learn to control our sex urges before marriage, there will be no reason to expect that they will be controlled after marriage.
(…)
Chastity helps people make better marriage choices. Romance without regret does exist but if you want the real thing be prepared to sacrifice. Only then will you see the peace and joy that comes from chastity is worth more than all the pleasures in the world. (…)
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How udderly ridiculous!
What is wrong with this country? All this talk about conscience has triggered the return of the puritans.
There are still weirdos around us.
Not to mention them being in denial. As if everyone was waiting until marriage a few decades ago.
Lawrence and Kate were.
And we read Daphne’s blog for cookery tips, right?
Well, Jason Micallef does.
There are tablets for that.
Well here’s the same sort of sanctimonious drivel from none other than the PM’s wife:
“Kate Gonzi said that pre-marital sexual relations “never crossed her mind” and that such relations “create doubt over whether a man really wants a woman for marriage or for sex.”
http://www.maltatoday.com.mt/news/national/kate-gonzi-divorce-premarital-sex
And you believe the rubbish that is written on maltayesterday?
Alfred Hili born in Gozo in 1942 and Kate Gonzi born in Malta in 1949 – same generation, same mentality.
Time for them to move on and let the rest of us think for ourselves.
In the past it was common – though by no means inevitable – practice for people not to have sex before marriage and even today, there are many couples who voluntarily decide to wait until they are married.
That is their business and before mobi, NGT et al. get carried away, they should note that Daphne’s entry (so I believe) concerns the wording of the letter, with marriage being compared to buying a cow, rather than the concept of pre-marital sex as such.
It’s the you’ll-go-blind-if-you-masturbate type of argument that is outdated and, since we don’t know how old the writer is, it was the editor’s responsibility to not publish his letter.
Can’t read your reply… I’ve gone blind :)
I wonder how it never crosses any of these idiots’ mind that many a couple may have married simply because at least one of the partners stuck to the “no pre-marital sex” mantra and hence married out of desperation for it?
In one’s mid/late teens/early 20s (and maybe later if denied – I would not know) desperation for sex at least by the male gender blinds one to any other considerations.
Another sensible piece of kerrapp from our beloved Church.
Do you think he voted ‘No’ in the referendum?
I am lost for words. This idiot deserves to be hanged.
“Cleaning was traditionally a woman’s chore” states the narrator” Obviously the parties are harking back to the “good old days”
http://www.britishpathe.com/record.php?id=78524
I actually love this site.
“Pre-marital relations hardly ever work.”
Arranged marriages work better.
Discuss.
It would be interesting if you were to be sent some CS Lewis quotes on the topic by your ‘kind and generous friend’. I assure you you will find them quite challenging.
[Daphne – Yes, he was big on chastity, wasn’t he. But I find, don’t you, that lots of people who think this way have a rigid ‘all or nothing’ approach that is bad in itself. The alternative to chastity, they imagine, is sleeping around indiscriminately – which I agree is very damaging to the spirit especially for women. But in a stable relationship? I hardly think so. Rather the contrary.]
All these selfish desires…perhaps a Maltese Hedonist Party is finally due.
Truly, the people who are destroying marriages are these who are making concepts such as virginity, which is at best an abstract concept, up for bartering.
Here’s another one of those sayings for that article’s writer – “If a cow won’t give milk, make corned beef.”
Reminds me of the stir caused by the “Sin Party” held at Ulysees Lodge in Xaghra Gozo back in 1993.
Part of the entertainment consisted of men in leotards dancing in cages suspended from the ceiling.
The following morning the old women in the village were all talking about the fact “kellhom pufti ġo gaġeġ imdendlin mis-saqaf”.
Makes me think of a Religious Studies teacher I had when I was about 11 (20 odd years ago) who told us we could get cancer if we kissed a boy.
You might not get cancer if you kiss a boy but your are at a much higher risk of cervical cancer if you sleep around. Your religion teacher is right if the word ‘kiss’ is used loosely as it is when religion teachers speak to 12 year olds.
You’ll be ok if you stick to those who are circumcised.
Some puritans in Malta unfortunately still abide by the saying:
“Marriage is the price a man pays for sex and sex is the price a woman pays for marriage”.
I wonder on what a Catholic marriage depends nowadays?
Giving up smoking after cigarettes are banned is not a big feat is it?
Eating healthy foods etc because no hospitals exist carries no real efforts.
Surviving a marital life, simply because there’s no divorce around……..?
Well, some things come to mind here but:
1. Kate was specifically asked about the premarital sex thing. Had she not been asked, she wouldn’t have spoken her mind. But, in all fairness, she has every right not to agree with premarital sex;
2. No premarital sex in a stable relationship, in my humble opinion, is a recipe for disaster as much as sleeping around is. All extremes are wrong.
3. I feel disgusted that men look at women from such a derogatory point of view. They see women as passive subjects of sex and men as the only active subjects. So totally passe’.