There's panic in the Labour grotto
Alex Saliba: WHEN I GROW UP I WANT TO BE A LABOUR POLITICIAN (photo from his Facebook album)
Some days ago, I quoted for your amusement an exchange of emails between Labour’s elves – Nakita Zammit Alamango, Aaron Farrugia (now promoted from Chief Elve to chief of Labour’s intellectual think-tank IDEAT) and a posse of other Forum Zaghzagh Laburisti twerps – which went astray because the dolts inadvertently included a journalist at The Malta Independent in their round-robin list.
One of those emails included the immortal words:
“We are riling the nationalists”.
Indeed.
Now it looks like this website is riling the elves, because there’s panic in the Labour grotto. They’re all climbing over each other to fix their privacy settings on Facebook.
It doesn’t seem to occur to them that a simpler solution would be to avoid uploading pictures of My New Room, complete with Che Guevara, Mickey Mouse, Jesus Christ and Joseph Muscat (and a fish tank).
When you’re secretary-general of Forum Zaghzagh Laburisti or ‘prezident’ of tink-tenk IDEAT, you have to make SOME sacrifices.
They live in a world of their own.
Labour Elve Alex Saliba aka Tander, from his Facebook album called KRISMIS IJVE (yes, really), wearing the standard uniform of the biggest night out in the Chav Social Calendar: Christmas Eve.
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‘KRISMIS IJVE’ (Christmas Eve spelt in Maltese) if read in Maltese, it would be pronounced ‘eeveh’ not ‘eev’.
Tander, or Thunderpants, looks exactly like an Elf here. God help us if we are going to be ruled by this new class of garbage. They make me look for comfort at Karmenu Vella and Charles Mangion.
At least, these guys have been around long enough to make me have a faint, feeble hope that they will curb the excesses of people like Tander, Nakita, and the many, many elves with strange-sounding names, or hybrid names straight from the white thrash baby name book, that we are going to have to put up with.
We are going to be ruled by a sect of deviants, anally retentives, philanderers, bullies tal-ponn bhal Sandro, wife-swapping hedonists, Pepsodent closet gays, bumbling ex-policemen, swingers, Super One cameramen, ginger Saviours, and whatever thrash emanates from Joseph’s Skip.
In 18 months’ time, we will be longing not for the Nationalists, but for the good old Lorry Sant days, because this lot are so hungry fo power and the trappings they imagine come with it, that they will gorge themselves sick, throw up, then gorge some more, and they will drive Malta into the ground.
Depend on it.
The NSO has already spelt out in no uncertain terms what it will be like in 2014.
It is what 80% of Maltese businessmen have told them.
At least we are forewarned.
“Now it looks like this website is riling the elves, because there’s panic in the Labour grotto. They’re all climbing over each other to fix their privacy settings on Facebook.
It doesn’t seem to occur to them that a simpler solution would be to avoid uploading pictures of My New Room, complete with Che Guevara, Mickey Mouse, Jesus Christ and Joseph Muscat (and a fish tank).”
They must also make sure Cyrus Engerer is not on their list of friends. He can be quite dangerous if he is allowed access to compromising photos, as Marvic Camilleri found out.
If this guy thinks he can be a politician, then I can be Prime Minister.
Thanks to names like these (Adiel, Adiona, Adon, Adonia, Berton, Braden (pronounced bejdinnn), Burgh (pronounced Berrrg), Charelle, Cliona, Diansand, Isaura, Kleaven, Krizette, Larkin, Marilyn, Nikita (which is actually a male name), Olen, Ramsey (pronounced Remsijjj), Renard, Shaian (pronounced Shajennn), Shanaya, Sheldon (pronounced Sheldinnn), Simeron, Tejzin, Theresia, Therisianne (pronounced Terizjennn), Tyrone (pronounced Tajrinnn), Tyson (pronounced Tajsinnn), Zarika) it’s pretty obvious who you are dealing with. Makes sifting through CVs all the more easy.
“a simpler solution would be to avoid uploading ……..”
And a safer, nearly foolproof, solution would be for them to forgo Facebook altogether. But then, what would they do?
How would they be able to brag about the number of friends they have (including those living in the same house – kids, parents, siblings…).
Hate to sound Kevinesque, but people tend to ignore the issues that FB has vis-a’-vis privacy:
http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2011/06/08/gotta-watch-facebook-privacy-concerns/
Qed tinfaxxa rasek qabel taqsama siehbi.
They actually manage to make the likes of Wistin Abela and the late Danny Cremona respectable.
Which is saying a great deal.
Imagine the trash from Joseph’s think-tank skip in charge of foreign affairs, tourism , media, education and entertainment in less then two years’ time.
Dan Tander jaqaw qatt ma ra qalziet meta kien zghir u issa ghax ra wiehed qed jahra go fih.
L-ewwel jurina il-kamra fuq Facebook u issa ghax kera libsa ser jahra fiha fuq Facebook ukoll.
Jaqbillu imur il-kors ta l-ETC biex jitghallem jispelli u jikteb ghax il-kitba tieghu lanqas titwemmen li qieghed fejn qieghed.
Mur gibu dan johrog xi press release, ara kemm Dun Karm jitqalleb fil-qabar.
Nifrahlek sur cuc, kemm inti stupidu.
You can see a natural sartorial progression from the white-trash carnival costume to the white-trash Christmas Eve ‘sjut u kowt iswed twil’ get-up.
U sidrija tleqq u se tixpakka, ingravata li ma tmurx ma’ dak l-ghonq tal-qmis, scarVE bla sens, u l-pavru tal-kowt imkemmex.
Way to go, Tander.
Milli jidher il-hanut minn fejn krieha kien “fid-dire straights” u kellu jtih dak li kien baqghalu. Forsi kriehelu b’nofs prezz ukoll?
Spot the difference:
http://daphnecaruanagalizia.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/Tander-il-pulcinell-213×300.jpg
http://www.thecorneroffice.co/wp-content/uploads/2011/04/maltese-business-joseph-muscat.jpg
I love these games, Baxxter.
Here’s the answer. One is pretending to be a clown. The other one is pretending not to be one.
Actually the answer was: The goatee.
But you get a gold star for creative effort, Ciccio.