Has the Labour Party been left TOTALLY in the hands of morons?
Oh look! A lobster which plays kolf! Hide it, quick, before Kurt Farrugia gets really confused.
I mean, just look at this. This is the leading article, if you please, on its news website, Maltastar.
They must be overcome by all those fumes in their skip. Or they’ve shared some of the Tooth Fairy’s Earl Grey tea (in a mukk).
———-
MALTASTAR
LEADER
30 October
ENJOYING LOBSTER AND GOLF IN HELL
* Because, you know, in their way of thinking the rest of us are sitting around dining on lobster and playing ‘kolf’
While walking down the street on 8th March 2008, a businessman who voted GonziPN that same morning is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
“Welcome to Heaven,” says St. Peter. “Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a Maltese businessman around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.”
“No problem, just let me in.” says the Maltese businessman.
“Well, I’d like to but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.”
“Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven,” says the Maltese businessman.
“I’m sorry but we have our rules.” And with that, St. Peter escorts the GonziPN voter to the lift and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians he had voted for, everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil (a GonziPN party official, too), who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes.
They are having such a good time that, before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the lift rises. The lift goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
“Now it’s time to visit Heaven.” So 24 hours pass with the Maltese businessman joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
“Well then, you’ve spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity.”
He reflects for a minute, then the Maltese businessman answers: “Well, I would never have thought it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell.”
So Saint Peter escorts him to the lift and he goes down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the lift open and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and rubbish. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the rubbish and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to the Maltese businessman and lays an arm on his neck.
“I don’t understand,” stammers the Maltese businessman. Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland full of rubbish and my friends look miserable.
The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, “Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!”
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It’s surreal. Is ‘Leader’ supposed to be their editorial, so to speak?
[Daphne – Yes, the leading article.]
I guess they stole this one too :
http://hikers.net/boneyard/humor/senator_dies.txt
Karmenu Vella must be shitting bricks by now. At this rate they’ll be downloading a DIY electoral manifesto and hey presto! he’s made redundant.
What utter morons. The use of Americanised words like “realizes” is such a give-away. They won’t learn.
I can’t believe they pay a salary to the person who wrote this leader – possibly from the “il-ftit minghand il-hafna” fund.
Maybe we should gather up all their theses and pass them through Turnit.com.
https://www.turnitin.com
Another striking similarity.
http://www.cafemom.com/journals/read/1252868/Heaven_or_Hell_campaign_joke
Seriously…. do these people need a slap in the face? Copy/Paste is only to “copy something you have written” from one document, to the other, not to “copy” someone else’s work and “paste” it as your own.
This is not funny anymore.
Whats next? MaltaToday copy/pasting articles and claiming that… wait…. it’s been done already.
Let me try again.
What’s next? Karmenu Vella copy/pasting the PN manifesto and claiming it’s the PL’s?
So they’re copying and pasting their editorials now. It’s brilliant! A master stroke!
Not even Baldrick could have come up with this ‘cunning plan’.
Well, a joke of a site, what else do you expect but an old joke on its front page?
How on earth is a party that “officially” refers to the PM / and / or the party in government as that stupid cliche “GonziPN” going to convince me to vote for it?
The more of that sort of crap I read the more I am convinced that anything is better than Labour.
Not at all surprised that they cannot come up with one, just one, original idea between the lot of them. What a bunch of losers.
I have seen this joke do the rounds on the internet after UK, US and Maltese elections for these last ten years or so.
Is this the best Fonazzjoni Idejat can come up with?
Do they give us numbered ticket to know when it is our turn to laugh?
What a lot of junk and shows what small minds – a lot of bull!
Nothing to do with this article but it seems that even the famous FAA are beginning to realise what Joseph Muscat really stands for.
http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20111101/local/faa.391810
It’s a very old joke and a quick google search reveals it’s included in at least 40 thousand sites.
These are just four of them:
http://www.valleyeasttoday.ca/evergreengardens/FMS%20Map/FM%20Jokes/fms_jokes_page_4.htm
http://www.michaelallsup.com/political_afterlife.htm
http://www.miscelpage.com/allshare/deadsenator.shtml
http://www.federalobserver.com/archive.php?aid=5737
Perhaps accusing Maltastar of plagiarism might be excessive in this case (it’s an old stale joke after all) but they appear to be seriously in need of ideas.
Oh, they have added something of their own after all: the devil is a GonziPN party official. I’m surprised they didn’t call him “a functionary”.
I did not doubt for one moment that it was plagiarism.
These muppets are incapable of anything else.
This is an old joke that comes around at each election in many parts of the world.
How tragic. The real ‘leader’ must have been lost for words.
I never imagined I would say this, but I feel embarrassed for the Labour Party.
I feel sorry for the rest of us, and that includes Labour supporters.
I get the suspicion that such internal rot is being left to spread on purpose.
“I get the suspicion that such internal rot is being left to spread on purpose.”
Very astute comment. Why do you think so?
It may sound perverse, but the impression I get is that somehow Joseph’s intention to move away from the idea of a party to a movement is being used against him, strengthening the PN politically instead.
The PN’s resolute stand, as a party, towards dissent highlights the trend for cross party opportunism, something Joseph unwittingly welcomes as the new way. What he doesn’t notice is that his official media structure, as a result, is a shambles. I don’t see that in the PN, where cohesion and a centralised message is still the name of the game.
The relatively new players enjoying Joseph’s trust know they can have it both ways, using alternative media to position themselves at a safe distance whenever needed. They will be the ones who will hold him to ransom should he be elected prime minister. Joseph’s weakness is simply being reflected onto Lawrence Gonzi, to play along. Meantime they maintain relations with the backbenchers, thus a reserve of votes should they make it to government.
The email story makes evident Joseph’s isolation both within the traditional party, now overrun by the old hardcore, as well as his liablility to these who’ve chosen to set up camp outside Mile End with their vested interests and unabashed with their endorsement of capital.
I link their clout to Lawrence Gonzi’s rigid control of Mepa, followed by his choice of cabinet; two related factors.
It’s in their interest to reduce traditional Labour and Joseph’s history, Alfred Sant, to a minor current and push for a de facto coalition.
It’s also in their interest to use Joseph as a scapegoat and threaten to dissolve the coalition, given the reserve of votes mentioned earlier.
Imbarazz!
I would not say that they have taken leave of their senses. I would rather say that they have revealed their true colours, which is still what Mintoff used to spoonfeed them, that buisnessmen are crooks and devils who must be destroyed, instead of recognizing us as motors of the economy.
I had been under the impression that New Labour was friendly towards buisnessmen but I was sorely mistaken.
Their reference to “businessmen who get rich at the expense of the people” really does sum up the true attitude of the Malta Labour Party.
A great man once said that ‘Socialism is the philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance and the gospel of envy. It’s inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery,’ (Winston Churchill)
This bunch of Labour misfits aptly fits this description perfectly, even though they, now, through their child leader, call themselves ‘progressives’.
@ Ms.Caruana Galizia
As regards the title. May I quote you and say that they are simply not fit for ANY purpose.
You’ve got to read this:
http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20111101/local/faa.391810
Un-frickin-believable!
This stupid joke was doing the rounds decades ago. Il-vera modern, dan Kurt.
That must be the best-written joke ever seen on MaltaStar.
Joke? Maltastar’s Labour readers most probably thought it was a true story. At least, the (implied) part that the PN won the elections is true.
At this rate, I think I can produce my own newspaper, simply browse the web, including jokeoftheday.com and copying and pasting.
After that, I can start interviewing as if I am some important personality who needs to be noticed or else cry.
What amazes me is that this government has been there for all these years (as Labour always reminds us) and yet Labour still hasn’t written a fraction of (real) criticism.
There could be only two reasons- there are no real problems and/or they are not really journalists but amateurs.
I regret reading that. Can I have the 5 minutes I wasted back, please?
Should’ve considered the source and left it at that.
Antika Roma. More plagiarism:
http://conservativesforcorker.blogspot.com/2008/01/yesterday-we-were-campaigning-today-you.html
Can anyone fathom to what depth of stupidity these idiots can sink?
Alternattiva must have come in, while the businessman was up in heaven. Hence no golf course.
What exactly is this supposed to be, a joke?
Maltastar, the PL’s official online newspaper is no different to some git’s Facebook page in its casual contempt for anything public thus formal.
If this is the language chosen, and this, the implied audience, I refuse to imagine what their idea of serving this country is, and where we fit in their notion of political parties and their function.
They’ve been in hell for so long, they must know the feeling.
More plagiarism, I see:
http://conservativesforcorker.blogspot.com/2008/01/yesterday-we-were-campaigning-today-you.html
Hi Daphne,
You may have already heard about it, and this may be worth nothing, but I just wanted to inform you that there was a character assassination exercise and personal attacks on a programme transmitted at around 6.30pm today on Super 1 radio.
I got it towards the end, and have no idea who was presenting it, but with my little understanding of the Maltese language (which is not so little) he was referring to the way you and Lou Bondi attack JPO personally on a regular basis.
You may want to see if there is a way get a transcript or recording of this programme. Sorry if this is a waste of time for you, but I thought you may want to know.
http://www.maltastar.com/pages/r1/ms10dart.asp?a=17382
At the time of sending in this comment, the last five Maltastar editorials have attracted a total of two comments.
http://www.maltastar.com/pages/r1/ms10indx.asp?m=241
So according to St.Peter, Maltese buisnessmen are something of a rarity in heaven, and I always thought it was lawyers and politicians.
How times change.
“I believe the future of South Africa should be rock lobster and golf.”
– Nelson Mandela
Good evening everyone!!!! In my jim jams brushing my teeth before I go to bed, after a hard satisfying day at MCST. Looking forward to curling up with a volume of Khalil Gibran. Then it’s lights out and goodnight to the big pixie in the sky….
[Daphne – You forgot Sting.]
No, tonight it’s Dr Alban, in keeping with the whole Zulu theme.
“The sun was shining bright and everyone could see it.”
[Daphne – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYImEf_-km0 Wrong choice, H. P. Former (and present, really) nerds-who-think-they’re-cool of my generation listen to Sting, U2 and Dire Straits, but especially Sting.]
You thought I was doing an impression of JPO???!!!!!111??
“Imitators are a slavish herd and fools in my opinion.”
Jean de La Fontaine, Clymène, V, 54.
[Daphne – If you want to do an imitation of Jeffrey, you’ll now have to find yourself a pet to make you more appealing to the lay-deez. Preferably one which is very small and furry and has followed you home from your long walk in the country with a hip-flask of whisky, therefore clearly, not a rat or, say, a hedgehog.]
Met Sting once, on the island of Montserrat. He was recording with the Police (Air Studios). Nice, down to earth guy. His wife Trudy, was super.
Taught him the game of Trivial Pursuit. Back in 1980. My business colleages didn’t know who he was.
Sleep tight, Baxxter.
You too, Daphne.
But Sting is not a dentist. Dr Alban is.
Yes and I’ve seen the pussy. Very furry and strokable.
Top o’ the morning to all of God’s furry little creatures.:))))
[Daphne – eeeeee i like it ta!!! HP u r d bast.]
I love Sting and U2. Not Dire Straits. But I don’t think I’m cool. I’m just stressed and this music calms me down :)
On another note, is Jason Micallef involved in Maltastar?
Dan ma kellux imur jorqod? ;)
Of course Jason is not involved.
This joke indicates that Maltastar is in the hands of the Commies. For some odd reason, Varist is the first name which comes to mind.
Surely the wannabes say they listen more to jazz than anything else . . . in public, at any rate.
I see they’re persisting in their anti-business diatribe. That might explain the failure of their Red Touch project and the still-birth of their labour supermarket, to say nothing of the enormous black hole in Super One’s accounts, or the fact that they made Marlen chairman of their what-became-of-it Business Forum.
I know that your question is rhetorical.
But still I have to answer: Yes.
These kind of articles are actually very embarrassing for our country. They insult the intelligence of readers who really believe that their party is competent enough to govern the country.
‘On another note, is Jason Micallef involved in Maltastar?’
No he is not involved at all. His job is to concentrate on attacking people at TVM and deciding whose heads will roll when Labour is in government.
How I like this site! I am sure that the folks at Maltastar do not even try to understand what’s being said here.
Maltastar has to resort to cut and paste, otherwise they would be at a loss to string a DECENT sentence together.