Il-Kalvarju ta’ Franco Debono Msallab

Published: January 10, 2012 at 12:52am

No, you're mistaken. This is actually Franco Debono on a good day.

I know what all those other men, on Inkontri tonight, were thinking as Franco Debono repeated the saga of his immense and fearsome suffering for the umpteenth time.

‘Grow a pair, for f**k’s sake.’

They were thinking how they might have given him a good thrashing in the school playground or the locker-room.

Well, perhaps not Karmenu Vella, who wouldn’t have wanted to damage those lady’s hands with hair on that he keeps flapping about like some theatrical designer called Ashley who woke up and found himself inexplicably wearing a suit instead of something tight by Dolce e Gabbana.

“Kemm batejt.”

“Jien il-vera batejt.”

“Meta tara min qieghed ibati, iva ma taghmel xejn biex tnehhi dik il-tbatija?”

“Kemm batejt.”

“Il-vera batejt.”

“Ghaddejt minn batijiet.”

Kristu Msallab wahdu, miskin. Imn’alla muhiex mara, ghax mur arah iwelled xi baby ta’ four kilos dal-patetiku.

Thank God he never set up home with the GF or had children, because just imagine him being asked to get up for a nightfeed, take out the rubbish, do the school run or a spot of grocery shopping.

“Tridni nbati? Ghalfejn taghmilli din l-batija kollha? Kompli sejra hekk u ha mmur norqod ghand il-mummy.”

Now back to the real script on Inkontri.

FD: “Jien ghaddejt minn terrur.”

JG (this would be the fat old undemocratic pig running the show): “X’tip ta’ terrur? Ghidilna izjed! Terrur fiziku?”

FD: “Le, le, mhux fiziku, dazgur li le.”

JG changes the subject, because he knows that the next obvious question “So what scared you then, Franco?” would expose his main man as – well, never mind.




21 Comments Comment

  1. Gordon says:

    mara hazina

  2. P.C. aka combinaguai ):-) says:

    @Daphne: tabitja and its derivatives have no għ. ;-) (ok we know that your Maltese is near perfect. This is one tricky word)

    [Daphne – Yes, I confused the spelling with ‘to send’. I’ll correct it.]

  3. Rover says:

    Franco, you’ve had your 15 minutes of fame. Perhaps now you could trot along to Italy, where they are gagging for you, and kindly disappear up your own backside.

  4. Hibernating From Malta says:

    Having lived in the UK for the past couple of months, I just realized what a bunch of poshed up pussies exist back in Malta.

    I cry out of dismay and grief when I hear such stupidities [not to say any harsher language].

    If Franco wants to know what terrur and tbatija really are, he should get involved with the British Charity Help for Heroes. This charity is full of often young ex-servicemen and women who for serving their country have endured the hardship of physical pain, often an amputation of a limb after a Road Side Bomb in Iraq or Afghanistan.

    What amazes me is that contrary to Franco Debono, despite losing their mobility, they are still full of courage and have BIG BALLS [unlike Franco], to live on and challenge their limitations in sport events and to be charitable towards others.

    I dare Franco and all the other people who have lost touch with the real world, whenever they are in the UK [instead of going to Primark] to see for themselves these real ‘heros’ who make it and learn a valid lesson or two in life.

    Hemmek jkun jaf xinhi veru kalvarju u tbatija!

    • H.P. Baxxter says:

      Ah. you’ve put your finger on the problem there. With no wars to fight, our notions of heroism (paying a guide to take you up Mount Everest) and suffering (not being made Justice Minister) have become horribly skewed.

      • Antoine Vella says:

        Baxxter, don’t forget the anguish of having to get up early to catch a bus to university or having your favourite parking space snatched away from you.

    • Space says:

      WELL DONE.

  5. J Abela says:

    And while I’m at it.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder

    Read it. It’s pretty worrisome.

  6. Matt says:

    Franco is determined to stay in Parliament even though the petition from his district to have him to resign is gaining momentum.

    Daphne, could the Opposition on Wednesday put a bill of no confidence vote? If they can’t, when is the earliest date a no confidence vote can take place in Parliament?

  7. John Schembri says:

    The successful criminal lawyer could be living beyond his means but I think the biggest worry is that we have a lone schemer whose plan is about to be unfolded.

    That’s his “tbatija”!

    From what was written in the editorial of The Sunday Times of Malta :

    http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20120108/editorial/Stranger-than-fiction.401408

    “His methods are also despicable. While in public he talks of noble concepts of democracy, freedom and the dignity of Parliament, in private he engages in another manner. For months, his principal, though far from only, target has been the Prime Minister.”

    This damning comment comes from The Times editor’s office which probably is constantly barraged with ‘replies’ and ‘important points’ from Franco on an hourly basis. While the comments board is used under various nome de plumes (the other manner?) while the newsroom staff would be having a deserved break or off from work.

    I was not at all surprised that Daphne’s piece on The Malta Independent on Sunday points at the same direction:http://www.independent.com.mt/news.asp?newsitemid=137916

  8. oldtimer says:

    I think we are wasting a lot of time and space on Franco Debono.

  9. silvio says:

    It seems that it is now time to bring out the big guns.

    They used them during the divorce referendum, but then it was only the picture of his face in front of the Zebbug church.

    Now it’s his full picture. I hope this does not indicate that we will be turning the whole affair into a religious crusade.

    This won’t be the first time that we used this strategy.

    I hope this this won’t be the case, for we have come a long way since then. And what could have seemed to be acceptable to the Gonzi of those dark days is not welcome today.

    [Daphne – It’s a joke, Silvio. There are clearly some cultural differences are work here.]

    .

    • silvio says:

      I guess no one would tell those burried in the Mizbla, in those good old days, that “it’s a joke”.

      [Daphne – Che centra? And that’s quite apart from the fact that you share the sentiments of Muslim fundamentalists on the appropriateness of jokes about religious figures.]

  10. Not Sandy :P says:

    Watching Inkontri, I got the impression that the whole lot of them were amusing themselves at his expense, and were rather enjoying giving Debono enough rope to hang himself.

  11. natal color-matching skills says:

    When’s Karmenu Vella going to apply some polish to those nails of his? Some Orange coloring would be appropriate. It will match well with Joseph’s hair.

  12. peppi ic-cuc says:

    Go Franza nibet iehor bhal Franco, skond il-Malta Today. Eric Cantona irid jilhaq president ta’ Franza.

    Nara dawn in-nies u nghid li jien irrid nilhaq lil Alla.

  13. Dee says:

    Jekk Franco Debono irid ikun jaf x inhi it-tbaghtija, jipprova jaghmel kif jaghmlu hafna nisa hawn Malta li jahdmu bhala FULL-TIME housewives/ mothers/ career women.

    Cissy!

Leave a Comment