Don’t we just love Maltastar’s conversational style of reporting?

Published: May 10, 2012 at 3:20pm

Maltastar, today:

72 YEAR OLD CATCHES FIRE AND DIES WHILE COOKING

72 year old John Harold William Houston a non-Maltese national who lives in Sliema died on Wednesday evening of sever burns. It was at 8.00pm when the fatal incident happened. He was probably cooking and somehow or other he caught fire. Nothing else in the house was burnt. When the ambulance and the medical team arrived he was already dead.

The poor man catches fire just like a pan of oil and dies of sever burns. Well, at least he didn’t catch on fire or die of miner burns, which appears to be possible in the Maltastar world.

And he was a non Maltese national so that’s all right then.




14 Comments Comment

  1. Johann Camilleri says:

    ” It was at 8.00pm when the fatal incident happened”!

    Does the journalist even have an O-level in English?

  2. Ken il malti says:

    Spontaneous human combustion is a rare phenomena but it seems to affect alcoholic old people the most who live alone who may or may not be near an open flame.

    http://io9.com/5855700/10-cases-of-spontaneous-human-combustion

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/sep/23/irish-pensioner-killed-spontaneous-combustion

  3. david farrugia says:

    Maltastar: “Jason Micallef said that this is a serious and a slanderous accusation, considering that the same Labour leader is also the managing shareholder of the company he chairs.”

    Managing shareholder?

  4. Thomas Pullicino says:

    But there again, Daphne, did you really expect any better?

    Or to put in in Maltastar English:

    “but wait a bit Dephne.. did you wait for any better?”

    • C Falzon says:

      Or in another version of Maltastar Inglish:

      “But Daphne what did you pretend from Maltastar?”

  5. silvio says:

    How about this?

    A flyer sent to me:

    The friends of (so and so} will be organising a Coffee Morning at (such and such hotel) etc.etc

    Buses will leave the Sliema Ferries at 4 P.M. sharp.

  6. Rita Camilleri says:

    I have to stop drinking coffee while I am reading your blog..

  7. Joe says:

    Geez!! Now that is what I call investigative journalism. The amzing amount of detail given. You can almost picture the poor man dying.
    May he rest in peace.

  8. Angus Black says:

    Don’t ever blame Sant for suggesting a reception class because knowing who he was surrounded with, his assessment of the need was spot on.

  9. Joseph (Not Muscat) says:

    Only God knows how policies and laws will be written once they are in power. The ironic thing is they bitch about illiteracy when they do not even know how to write a simple sentence.

  10. Clifford says:

    Yet they speak about upgrading education

  11. Jozef says:

    http://www.independent.com.mt/news.asp?newsitemid=144114

    [Daphne – Yes, so much for ‘lesbian attack’. It looks like they were just a couple of harridans who were not averse themselves to using the homophobic insult ‘pufta’. Those who organised protest marches in their favour and expressed their horror spoke a little too soon.]

    • Kenneth Cassar says:

      You could be right, Daphne. On the other hand, people do lie under oath, so I would not be too quick to judge.

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