Some women are the pits
Only a few weeks ago we heard about that bunch of women cleaners who put their boss through years of utter hell by falsely claiming that he had harassed them sexually.
He was prosecuted, traumatised and his life rendered miserable, only for one of the girl-gang to break down in the dock and admit that the whole thing was a set-up because they wanted to get him sacked.
Now we have this. Isn’t it obvious what happened? The woman had an affair, got pregnant, hid the paternity of the child from her husband, and when he found out – behind her back – conjured up a story in the desperate hope that it would allow her to claim her 50% share of the communal property under marriage law, which she would otherwise have to forfeit from the date of her adultery, besides also being left without maintenance for the child.
So she lands the poor sucker who fathered her child in the hands of the police by claiming he raped her. Luckily for her, he is also Libyan. “He took advantage of me while I was drunk”. How convenient, madam. If you were really so drunk that you couldn’t fight him off, you wouldn’t even have remembered the incident, still less who it was or what he did.
And you certainly wouldn’t have remembered after all these years and said ‘Oh, the child isn’t yours? Well then, it must have been that time X years ago that I was drunk and have vague recollections that X raped me.”
Pathetic. And vile.
Whether this woman’s victim is truly the father can be assessed by means of a DNA test which, presumably, the police had the decency to carry out before they charged him (though they might well not have done given how they operate).
As to whether he raped her, miskina, while she lay fully clothed and drunk on a bed at a party, I won’t even bother reserving judgement on that.
To save her own skin this woman has created havoc for others, including her own child, who really doesn’t need this and who certainly didn’t need to know it even if – by a long, long stretch – it were true.
The Times, Saturday, May 19, 2012
by Waylon Johnston
Woman accuses embassy employee of rape
A Maltese woman whose husband found out their daughter was not his has accused a Libyan Embassy employee of raping her during a party three-and-a-half years ago, a court was told yesterday.
The woman, who cannot be named by court order, only made the accusations when she found out that, during separation proceedings, her husband had carried out a DNA test on their daughter and established it was not his, the court was told.
The 35-year-old official, who lives in Birkirkara, allegedly took advantage of the woman during a party when she was intoxicated and lay unconscious on a bed, police sources said.
The accused stood in the dock crying, clutching a packet of cigarettes and an asthma inhaler as the proceedings got under way.
Defence lawyer Chris Cardona said the woman only decided to speak up after her husband surprised her with the DNA test.
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Reminds me of that Polish woman married to a Maltese man – Isabelle Azzopardi – who had claimed that she was raped by the then police commissioner. And I also remember her husband, wearing white socks, defending her on television. Pathetic.
Reminds me very much of Dominique Strauss-Kahn
“Rape” is often very useful indeed.
This is a time-hallowed fact.
Ask all those estranged fathers what they’re going through in separation proceedings at the hands of their vindictive wives.
False reports of threats, child abuse and domestic abuse against the father.
[Daphne – I know of quite a few vindictive husbands, Rayb. The only reason that men don’t use the false accusations of rape and sexual harassment is because they understand they would be viewed as ludicrous. But lies and false accusations of other sorts are not unknown.]
Just to get a restraining order and win the matrimonial house and custody. There are hundreds of separated men living in grief and despair all over Malta, deprived of fatherhood, just bacause of callous mothers who think nothing of using their children as weapons of mass destruction in order to bring their husband to his knees.
These fathers have no rights at all. They are not even allowed to speak in court. The magistrate just takes the word of the mum who puts on a show rehearsed by callous lawyers. They know the drill.
Claim domestic abuse, child abuse and harrassment and the father is exiled for good. No proof required. Because no magistrate will dare take that risk.
Nicholas Azzopardi was beaten up in the police HQ and subsequently died in hospital. He ended up dead.
[Daphne – We don’t know whether he was beaten up. We do know that he ended up dead. I,too, would like to know what happened there.]
Allegations by the husbands are rare, and in case they don’t lead to the widespread parental alienation that the fathers go through.
There is an ever-growing population of self-centered middle-aged Sliema housewives who are happy enough to take their husbands to the cleaners, alienate them from their children and live a self-satisfied life of leisure sipping drinks at the cafes and doing their Pilates, while boasting of their pathetic exploits on their Facebook pages, while their estranged husbands are left exiled in grief and despair, chained by exaggerated maintenance money and unable to see their children because of some invented allegation. No good will come from this.
[Daphne – Well, I certainly agree with you there, no question.]
Well then, can you please write about this phenomenon?
[Daphne – I have done so repeatedly over the years, Rayb. It is a pet theme, or rather was. I became tired of being accosted by my contemporaries, who accuse me of “having something against them”. Unfortunately, so much time has gone by since I started writing about it, that I now have a new subject: how they have made their daughters in their own image, despite their daughters having university degrees. But at this stage, I’d rather stay off the subject. It’s like beating one’s head against a brick wall. To each his own, hi and bye, and that’s it.]
Nobody seems to want to do anything about it.
[Daphne – Nobody can do anything about it because you can’t force grown women, still less middle-aged ones, into re-education school to get rid of the ideas their own mothers funnelled into their heads. They’re a lost cause. You just have to work around the edges. And just deal with your back luck/bad choices/whatever. It could have been worse. You could have married somebody who ran off to another part of the world, taking the children with her. At least yours are still here. Just one word of crucial advice: don’t make the mistake that many men make in your position and begin thinking of your ex wife as the conduit to your children, eventually giving up if she doesn’t let you through. Your relationship is directly with them. They need to know that you are trying to get in touch with them and trying to spend time with them. You have to find some way of making this clear to them. If they grow up thinking that you let go, or that you gave up, or that you stopped trying to hammer that door down, the damage will be permanent, and I don’t necessarily mean to your relationship with them, either. They’re not always going to be too young to over-rule their mother.]
Then you get the odd one out who just flips and breaks down mentally under the pressure and goes into a murderous or suicidal rampage and makes things even worse for the rest of us because access is tightened even further.
Surely there must be some way out.
Everyone writes about the poor mums having to cope on their own with their kids and their low maintenance settlements, nobody seems to care about all those dads who are deprived of the very two things they hold dear, their children and their home.
[Daphne – That’s because Maltese society tends to have a Madonna complex. Also, because there are many truly awful situations in which the women and children really are the victims of appalling behaviour by the husband/father. The extremes are those taking shelter at Dar Merhba Bik, but I know of several silent cases in which ill-treatment is ingrained in the relationship, with wives treated like dependent puppets and tossed the occasional coin as pocket money. They try to work to get some financial independence, and the husband trips them up all the way, refusing to cooperate, to help with the children, with the home.
I could go on, but it’s too depressing. I even know of a couple of cases where the husband, so as not to give his wife housekeeping money, does the weekly supermarket shop himself, leaving her to work out meals on the basis of what he has decided to buy and put in the fridge. So let’s not brush all women off. Then yes, there are the sort you mention, and they are appalling: lazy, selfish and intent on revenge. But the thing you don’t get is that they were always like that. They didn’t become lazy, selfish and bitchy when the marriage broke down. But men tend not to notice these things about women, or they find laziness and selfishness absolutely fascinating in the early days – you know, the Princess Complex. But when things turn sour, everything that seemed so charming is seen for what it really always was. People don’t change. We just have to make a careful character assessment before deciding to get married to somebody, because after that, and especially when children come along, we’re hostage.]
And most often it is the more dedicated dads that are kicked out since the devious mum realises that she can use the dad’s dedication to wrangle more and more money out of them since they hold the ultimate bargaining tool, access to his kids. And a sympathetic family court.
This is nothing but sordid blackmail and is now practically an epidemic in the Sliema/Attard regions.
[Daphne – Yes, I know. That’s my sphere of acquaintance, too. But I don’t know why you’re surprised. Your wife was probably as much of a bum while you were happily married. You just chose not to notice because you thought it was the way things were supposed to be. These days, and I’m not talking about our mothers’ generation, for whom it was different, there’s only one reason why a grown woman would want to stay at home and dependent: she’s lazy. In a normal state of affairs, a woman cherishes and values her independence and self-respect, no matter how much her husband earns.]
Thanks, you’ve described it perfectly. And it all makes sense.
Except that hammering on the door and ringing the home phone didn’t work. I just got done for harassment and nbow have a criminal record to boot.
But my youngest daughter is only a toddler so the only way to see her is through my wife, so I am at her mercy there.
And yes, my wife was always lazy, and I never minded working two/three jobs to keep her happy and at home as she wanted, but now she wants “her space” and I don’t fit in her in her Facebook circle of over 40 “born again teenagers” , so I must go.
That’s it, I’m disposable and with no rights at all, not even to see my little girls without going to the police station every time.
Believe me, I would give my arms and legs just to be able to be at home with my kids. If these wives are bored why don’t they just pack up and leave? What is stopping them?
Why have they to destroy their husband and throw him out like a dog on just some mid-life whim? Your advice was spot-on though , and I thank you for looking beyond the housewife theatrics.
“50% share of the communal property under marriage law, which she would otherwise have to forfeit from the date of her adultery, besides also being left without maintenance for the child”……….
Is this true, if a woman commits adultery she forfeits her 50% and gets no maintenance?
[Daphne – 50% from date of adultery. And it works the other way round, too. It doesn’t only apply to women. And yes, no court of law would oblige a man (or woman) to support an adulterous wife (or husband). Fair’s fair.]
I say… that libyan dude must really have some super efficient sperm… as any mature woman who ever tried to conceive, or who has the slightest idea of what a sex life is… conception rarely happens at one shot…
[Daphne – Somebody give this man biology lessons. I’ll try: conception, like sexually transmitted diseases, ALWAYS happens “at one shot”. It’s not like, say, polishing a surface or grinding a knife.]
Daphne – what I meant is – that very rarely a baby is conceived by just one act of intercourse:- it has to be the right time of month for the woman; and there’s a lot of other factors that can prevent the sperm from reaching the ovum :- point is; that I sincerely doubt that this ‘conception’ would have happened from just one single act of intercourse/rape, hence most probably she didn’t have a one night stand/got raped; but rather had an affair with this guy. Just adding my humble guy thoughts about it.
[Daphne – I repeat, as you seem not to have understood: conception is ALWAYS the result of a single act of intercourse. “Very rarely a baby is conceived by just one act of intercourse” – no, in fact, that’s always the case. That’s why so many people get pregnant when they don’t want to be: because they think as you do.]
It is amazing that in this day and age there are grown men (I assume, Trololol, that you are a grown man?) who still are oblivious to how conception occurs.
I am more than happy to give this man a basic lesson in human reproduction.
As Daphne has already stated quite correctly, all it takes is “one shot” – but it has to be at the right time of a woman’s monthly cycle. On average a woman’s cycle is normally between 28 to 32 days measured from the first day of her menstrual period until the first day of her next period.
Most woman ovulate (release an egg) anywhere between Day 11- Day 21 of their cycle. This is the fertile time during which sexual intercourse can increase the chance of pregnancy.
Are you still with me, Trololol? Now we come to the important stuff: why all it takes is “one shot.” Listen carefully.
After intercourse, sperm can live for up to five days but an egg can only live 12 to 24 hours at most. Conception can occur any time live sperm meet up with a live egg. So a woman can get pregnant if she has sex five days before she ovulates and up to two days after she ovulates.
All it takes is one time, but it has to be at the right time, which is within that seven-day window when a woman can get pregnant.
I hope you have found this information educational, and I also hope that your idea of what constitutes a “sex life” is a hell of a lot better than your knowledge of biology.
Bah. I give up. My point is that I seriously doubt that what she had with this guy was a one off.
Which is why; as you stated; it has to be at the right time of month.
My point is; that considering all factors; this woman was playing around with Libyan dude for ages; not just during this single ‘rape scene’ or one night stand.
[Daphne – Flawed reasoning. Nobody doubts that, if the child is his, then it was the result of an affair and not rape. But it still doesn’t take more than one “shot”, as you so elegantly put it, to conceive it. You’re talking of odds, but whatever you might have been led to believe, the odds are pretty good because the time-window is pretty big, as was carefully explained to you by this nice lady up above.]
Technically Trololol is right, In an average 28 day cycle, a woman is fertile for about two days. Sperm generally survive inside of the woman’s body for about 48 hours. Now, this gives the average woman about a three day window period every month for pregnancy to occur.
From this alone, the odds of conception from a one-time sexual encounter are about 10%.
[Daphne – I really hope you’re not a gambling man. Or a maths graduate. If the woman is fertile during “a one-time sexual encounter”, the chances of her getting pregnant are 99.9% and not 10%, unless she is over 35 or there are systematic malfunctions. What you mean is that if you put it about randomly, you have a 10% chance of getting somebody pregnant. That’s different.]
Now, it’s estimated that pregnancy to term only occurs one in every three conceptions. This lowers the odds of pregnancy from a single sexual encounter to about 3%. There Trololol is right in saying that PROBABLY she had several encounters, rather than the one. PROBABLY but not DEFINITELY.
[Daphne – No, Rayb. What makes it probable that she had an affair is not the fact that she conceived, but the fact that she hid the paternity of the child and the fact that she knew the child was not her husband’s. This is not consistent with rape, but consistent with a secret affair. I repeat: it takes only one act of sex to make a baby. Not two, not three, not a full=blown affair and certainly not ‘trying’ or ‘several attempts’. This might be very difficult for you to understand, but please try.]
Yes I’m a maths graduate, but not a gambling man.
And I’m still with Trololol on this one.
Of course, rape is random. I doubt a rapist would enquire about the menstrual period before the act.
And yes if you consider the fact that she never talked about the rape before, the odds of this man being guilty fall to less than 1%, even wthout DNA evidence.
Yes, the police saw it fit to prosecute and the newspapers published his name.
The police should prosecute her for making a false report.
How convenient it is for some women to remember being raped when dead drunk years before, when their husbands brandish scientific evidence of being cuckolded.
I am truly sorry for the poor little mite.
“Now, this gives the average woman about a three day window period every month for pregnancy to occur.”
As I have already explained there is actually a seven-day window in which conception can occur. It is difficult to calculate exactly when this occurs as women do not tend to ovulate at exactly the same time each month.
Couples who practise natural family planning are advised to abstain from sex from Day 8 to Day 21 to be on the safe side. On the other hand, if you are trying to have a baby, this is the time to be sexually active.
The point I am trying to make is that statistically, it is a lot easier to get pregnant from a one night stand than most people realise.