He’s cock-a-hoop

So parliament is to begin debating the so-called “Franco’s reforms” tomorrow.

Pathetic.

But I suppose they had better. The man is clearly still in a manic phase and who knows what else he might do.

This morning, when he heard that I was standing in the dock awaiting judgement in the police case instigated by Charlon Gouder (the famous ‘Jaqaw Charlon Gouder mar ma xi qahba?’ incident), he shot into the courtroom so hyper-wired that he was practically vibrating, made a point of walking across me, then stood there gloating waiting for me to be “condemned”.

When he gathered from the gist of the judgement, as it was being read out, that it wasn’t going to be that way, he shot back out again in a furore of disappointment. But before he went, he made a point of going up to Gianella de Marco, who was sitting there writing with her head down, and tapping her on the back so that she had to notice him.

And to her credit, after flirting with several of the police officers and lawyers in the room, she chose to give him extremely short shrift. Had I been in a position that did not require a sombre demeanour, I would have laughed myself sick.

Half an hour later, I saw Franco again, strutting his cock-like walk practically on tip-toes with his legs apart and prancing up and down, talking manically on his magic crackberry that rings when it’s off, quite obviously in the temper from hell.

Perhaps The Times had rung him with a follow-up to today’s story on how he is still collecting his salary as a parliamentary secretary, despite not reporting to work for months, this time asking him how he squares with his conscience the small matter of being paid for not working, while insulting and humiliating his boss.

I’m telling you, the temptation to stick my foot out right there in court and trip him up while wearing a look of wide-eyed innocence was almost too much to resist.

Imagine the scene.

“She tripped me! Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Ha naghmel rapport lil pulizija! Attakk fahxi fuq tifel biezel!”

What a jerk, honestly.

Franco Debono, who chairs the parliamentary select committee on the reform of press laws, will probably see this case as evidence that the libel laws are not harsh enough to protect victims of bloggers, like poor Charlon Gouder and the cock from Hal Ghaxaq.

In reality, it proves the opposite: that our press laws are bloody ridiculous. A case like this should never have gone to court in the first place, still less as a criminal prosecution, with the full works by the police.