Oh for heaven’s sake, kif ma jisthux
Posted by Bookworm, one of my extensive worldwide network of spies:
Michelle Muscat was on the same flight to Malpensa as I was a couple of weeks ago, together with the Zammit Lewises and their children.
I was appalled when one of them passed on ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ to one of the girls to hold while the mummies were busy getting out of their seat.
Maybe they thought their daughters are too young to flip through the pages and ask: “Mummy, have we got a red room of pain at home?”
Can you believe these people? Mrs Edward Zammit Lewis and Mrs Joseph Muscat chose FIFTY SHADES OF GREY to read on their flight out to Malpensa.
Do they think they’re invisible – or that nobody knows what that book is (the Da Vinci Code for the sexually starved)?
FFS. Unbelievable. Read it at home, Michelle and Elena. People in your position can’t afford to be seen with Fifty Shades of Grey in public. It’s too frigging embarrassing, not just because it’s pornography, but mainly because it shows you’re the kind of people who read something because everyone else is doing so.
Also, if the Labour leader is trying so hard to convey the impression that he’s young, masterful and hot in the sack (spare us – when he enters the room, pheromones leave it), it’s really not a great idea for his wife to be seen reading porn in public on a flight to northern Italy.
Fifty Shades of Grey…. I just can’t get over it.
The popularity of that book has coincided, in small towns everywhere (where the ladies are particularly bored) with a spike in sales of neckties (especially silver-grey), clothes-lines and basic handcuffs.
The thought of Michelle tying Joseph to the Burmarrad bedposts – a little difficult, this, given that contemporary beds don’t have them and an antique bed is de rigeur for the sport – with one of his extraordinary collection of neckties leaves me almost asphyxiated with laughter.
Can there be anything less glamorous and enticing? And why do I get the distinct feeling that he’ll loathe every second? Call it a woman’s instinct.
Go on, Michelle, try everything, because you never know. But stay away from the rose petals and the candles in the steamy bath – take my advice, only girls of either sex like that kind of thing.
Hahahahaha – Fifty Shades of Grey. Wait till I tell my friends…ooops, I’ve done so already. Maybe she can spray him to the headboard with some of that aerosol fluff he uses on his head for public appearances.
It’s getting kinky in Burmarrad, isn’t it? Really wild and exciting. Tsk tsk. So 1970s. Tell you what, Michelle and Elena, here’s a really great new idea. You take a big bowl, then you all throw your car-keys into it, then….
I’m killing myself here.
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Is this the grey tie? Oops but he’s with the blonde.
Asti-a, they must really have fun!
http://daphnecaruanagalizia.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Elena-Farrugia-Joseph-Muscat-Edward-Zammit-Lewis-Michelle-Muscat.jpg
What is it with these people? Facebook is replete with 40-something women (who, only a month or two ago, were getting all gooey and holy over their children’s first holy communion or confirmation) discussing the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy.
[Daphne – U hallihom, as long as they’re tying their own husband to the doorknobs or whatever, and not some other woman’s. You have to take your fun where you can find it in such a limited existence.]
Well actually the problem is international. Fifty Shades is one of the worst books I’ve ever read, in all senses. Just very badly written, terribly boring porn. It is bewildering that it has sold more copies than Harry Potter.
I wonder how many had the stamina to move on to the second and third part of the trilogy.
[Daphne – Well, in that case, if they found the book exciting, just imagine what their love life must be like.]
Just to set you straight. HP has sold over 450 million copies to this book’s 30 million. Wikipedia is not the best place for accurate statistics.
Which naturally makes one wonder how really errr youthfull (putting this as delicately as I can) our pratikament Prim Ministru is. Has he already shot his bolt, if his Missus is publicly reading erotica?
See there, L. Gatt did not like the book. He thought it would appeal to his peculiar desires, so he bought it and went on to read it till the very end, when, suddenly, it dawned on him: “this is some badly written, terribly boring porn,” he thought. “In all senses, one of the worst books I’ve ever read. It is bewildering that it has sold more copies than Harry Potter.”
He was still entranced with bewilderment when he denounced the book on Deffney’s Running Nosepad, but his contempt for Michelle was now both compromised and mystified.
[Daphne – L. Gatt is a woman, Kevin.]
I expected you to say that, Daphne. But it’s quite irrelevant.
[Daphne – Why did you expect me to say that, Kevin, if you thought it was a man?]
Maybe they thought it was a book about hair….or tea.
Trust them to buy a useful book. This sure burst their bubble. They probably needed some male fashion guide to help match their husbands’ shirts. Red is momemtarily a no-go, sick of blue by far, so yesssss… let’s try grey, and OMG, 50 shades of it. TAL-BIKI!
[Daphne – I don’t think you quite understand what the book is about.]
LOL. Nice one.
Doh, I trust your moniker does not imply a Bachelor’s degree in Philosophy.
These people really do need keepers.
Of course I do, but did they know before buying?
Stalking is a crime, in case you don’t know.
[Daphne – Sorry, I don’t get you. Somebody is sitting on a plane next to the future Mrs Prime Minister, notices that she’s reading porn in the presence of her children and in public, and tells a journalist. That is not stalking. Stalking, my dear, is what you do to me.]
Are you sure it was Lil Din and not Mrs Zammit-Lewis?
Oh sure, Bookworm bought a ticket to Malpensa just to stalk Michelle Muscat. Get real.
I find this hard to believe… I call bullshit.
[Daphne – Obviously.]
Then you enter Swinger territory, but wait, she only likes branded clothes.
A lawyer and Labour candidate, his notary wife and mother, and tomorrow’s Mrs Prime Minister, all together making tomorrow’s creme’ de la creme’. No sense, no style, no class. Give us a break please, and let us enjoy the last few months of sanity.
Ooooops, am I the only one who has never heard of this piece of erm.. liberal and progressive literature?
[Daphne – Probably, yes.]
It is called mommy-porn in UK and USA.
Maybe Joseph isn’t so young and progressive in bed, after all. Moderate may be a more precise term maybe?
“in small towns everywhere (where the ladies are particularly bored)”
Trust me, this book has picked up everywhere even in New York City (where the ladies aren’t bored at all).
[Daphne – Oh no, the ladies are especially bored in NYC. I hear it is exceptionally hard to find a man with all faculties intact, no vices, and an interest in women. It is probably easier to find one in a small town.]
This is not that funny, considering that in a few months she will be PM’s wife. Day after day its just becomming darker and darker for poor Malta.
I do not have time to read novels.
I know about this book from newspaper reviews.
I have no idea who was reading what on that flight to MXP.
Whoever it was reading ‘Fifty shades ….’ ought to grow up.
If this sort of ‘pornography’ appeals to our ‘young’ mothers, the future does not bode well for our country.
I would like to think that the ladies in question did not have a clue about what they were reading and, if they did , they then did not understand a thing.
Damn shame we’re expected to hand in the questions for Google Hang-out Ma’ Joseph Muscat ahead of time. I would have loved the chance to ask him what he thinks of his wife’s reading matter, and whether he’s up to the job.
Fifty shades of grey sounds just like Joseph Muscat’s future cabinet.
From one of the reviews of Fifty Shades of Grey:
“Its fan base is surprisingly, or perhaps not so surprisingly, largely made up of married women over thirty. Hence the moniker bestowed upon it by various media agencies: “mommy porn.” ”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1RcKJVbHA
[Daphne – Mommy porn. It even SOUNDS like a passion killer.]
If we see dear Joseph in a white linen shirt and grey flannel trousers, that hang in a particular way, we’ll know where the inspiration came from.
The thing is that such books are meant to be read in the privacy of your home rather than on an overly crowded plane – and you don’t feel proud owning them as part of your library either, or even proud of having read them.
What irked me most was the fact that the book was passed on to a child to hold for mummy.
Besides being a boring read, the events, if you could call them such, were so predictable that you could summarize the trilogy in just one page.
“one of my extensive worldwide network of spies:” Grow up you silly cow!
[Daphne – Silly cow, Tyrrell? My, so now you see me as a sex object.]
…or she should get herself a frigging Kindle, if she wants to read that trash in public.
If it’s ‘The Da Vinci Code for the sexually starved’, what was your ‘Bookworm’ friend doing reading it? Tsk, tsk. Oh, he or she will tell you they simply read the reviews. To keep abreast of current trends, you know.
Ah Daphne, Daphne, trust me, your friends have ALL read it. In breathless sessions in a locked bathroom, though, not on a plane. That’s the mark of true breeding, I suppose.
[Daphne – No, darling, my friends have not all read it. I’m tempted to say that they’re too busy with the real thing, but I shan’t embarrass them. But really, that’s a book for people who don’t read, and my friends tend to read.]
Does she have to make it so obvious that she needs tips and hints on how to get Joseph going?
My, how progressive. Ha ha.
It’s a book. Which she is free to read. Wherever she wants. She passed it to her daughter, who held it for a few minutes. I’m sure the daughter couldn’t be bothered to check what it is about, given children’s attention spans.
Next thing you know, I will be getting into trouble because my copy of Richard Dawkins’ ”The God Delusion” is seen by a priest as I visit the toilet on my next RyanAir flight!
[Daphne – Dear God, how deliberately obtuse. Shall I spell it out? Yes, the wife of the leader of the Opposition and imminent prime minister is free to read porn on a plane in full view of other passengers, just as she is free to, say, wear a G-string on a public beach. But both options are very, very ill-advised, the first more than the second. For a start, when women are seen reading porn, it’s a public statement on their level of satisfaction and raises questions about their husband’s performance – just as it makes women look and feel bad when their husbands use pornography. Same difference. Michelle reads porn in public and people like me ask: what’s wrong with Joseph? And aside from that, it’s incredibly vulgar. Why bother trying to dress upmarket and then read something so very downmarket?]
Oh please. You mean to tell me that only lower class or uneducated men and women watch or read porn?
[Daphne – VERY obtuse. No, that is not what I said. This is what I said: that Fifty Shades of Grey is a book for women who don’t read. Women who do read can’t get past the awful writing. The porn has nothing to do with it. I felt the same about The Da Vinci Code, and that other one all the girls were reading some years ago – what was it called, the Celestine Prophecy or something like that. And yes, watching and reading porn is extremely vulgar, whatever your social background.]
A large majority of people do, from the top to the very bottom.
[Daphne – That is completely irrelevant. A large number of people also vote Labour. How does that make it a good or acceptable thing to do?]
And the book sales and Pornography sales prove that. There is nothing wrong with it.
[Daphne – That is what would be called a fallacious argument: lots of people do it therefore there’s nothing wrong with it. The rightness or wrongness of something is not vested in the number of people who do it. I suspect you are a porn-user who has taken offence.]
Especially in this day and age. And on another note, just because one does decide to watch or read porn, do not jump to the conclusion that their sex life is crap or their sexual partner is terrible in bed.
[Daphne – “In this day and age”: actually, the use of porn is atavistic and unenlightened. It is also extremely depressing and brutalising, which is why it tends to be sold to and bought by life’s losers. This is a generalisation, of course, and there will be exceptions. But equally, one smart Labour voter does not prove any theory that you have to be smart to vote Labour. As for your last sentence, unfortunately that is exactly the conclusion we must reach. Why bother, otherwise?]
This is exactly how the leader of the Labour Party thinks. Just see his utterances on the new IVF bill – he will see what the people think and then decide.
So basically whatever the majority decides is good for society (in reality, it is good for him to reach his goal, become prime minister and f*ck the rest).
Ahh, yes! Because today being liberal simply means not being scandalised by sex.
I am a porn user and I second Daphne’s views. It is an unhealthy, mind-distorting habit, and while I would oppose banning it I will not lie about its potential effects. I am trying hard to free myself.
Because she can and because she doesn’t care about what other people think and how other people judge her for reading a book.
“Ill advised” according to who?
“Level of satisfaction” for reading and or watching porn?…what has that got to do with anything?
Hmmm I guess you summed it all with your statement…”People like me”.
Obviously by the fact she handed it to her daughter…it is all just a bit of entertainment and non-important….it had nothing to do with her husbands performance!!
Judge judge judge……xammejt tahd idejk ricentament?
The book is not about women tying up men, but the other way around. It’s actually about an abusive relationship which is interpreted as erotic by a barely literate author and an army of brainless sex-starved housewives.
So many women in Malta are reading this book that I don’t think you can draw any inferences about her sex life from this sighting. It only really demonstrates terrible taste in literature and a willingness to follow the herd.
When the trilogy runs out it’s time to turn to the live FSG generator .. http://fiftyshadesgenerator.com/
Trailer trash literature for the trailer trash generation, God help us all.
Why are women around the planet getting off on this book, one wonders?
Can you imagine Mrs Gonzi reading Fifty Shades of Grey on a plane?
I can imagine Sharon Ellul Bonici reading this book anywhere.
What’s wrong with them reading a book?
At least they are not ashamed of their sexual appetite and interests unlike the ‘catholic-sheep-prudes’ like maybe yourself daphne?
I find this article a waste of time rather than interesting like some of the other things you write about. Come on scare tactics on the ladies?
Fifty shades of grey….(or should that read black) if God forbid, Mrs Muscat would be the Prime Minister’s wife in a few months’ time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK8Lr_HL3eY
“The thought of Michelle tying Joseph to the Burmarrad bedposts – a little difficult, this, given that contemporary beds don’t have them….”
I thought you meant it was difficult since Joseph’s outstretched arms couldn’t possibly reach from one bedpost to the other.
Dejjem tista’ tagħmel erba ġakkijiettax-xatters tal-konkos madwar is-sodda flok it-tistiera.
So that’s why he looked tired in that video that you posted some days ago
So stupid from when we dictate to people what not to read in public? Who are we to dictate what people should read!!! Are we living in a communist state? For me she was reading just another book that is talking about for most of you taboo sexual content for me I see nothing wrong in reading fifty shades of grey and it’s not pornographic at all!!Let’s leave the private live of a person private please as this story of the book is really stupid so closed minded!!! And you want that this country move forward not even a book you can read in public as people will stir a controversy. My God wake up we are living in 2012 not in the 1800’s grow up for God sake!!!!
for fuck sake its just a book shut up
[Daphne – There speaks an ace cultural observer.]
You are an ignorant woman Daphne
Which is what you indeed are claiming to be with this whole blog Daphne?