In Malta, it would be a crush and not a queue
It’s just occurred to me that there’s something fundamentally not right with this poster, and it’s not the message (of course).
It’s the queue.
That is patently a British queue: everyone is in a neat and orderly line and they’re all behaving themselves.
Nobody is barging, pushing or saying threateningly, “Jimporta jekk nghaddi qablek ghax jiena dawn biss ghandi/ghandi appuntament ghand it-tabib/irrid nigbor it-tifla.”
In Malta, it would be a total crush.
People would crush up at the front, 50 persons wide and 20 deep, then more would crush up behind. Everybody would be shouting and grumbling loudly.
A constant hum of bickering and moaning would float above the surface. People would begin pushing and jostling and insulting each other. The BO from the synthetic shirts worn without anti-perspirant (hela ta’ flus) would be unbearable.
Almost everyone will be puffing away and waving cigarettes around, making you wonder how, given the high proportion of flammable synthetics and cigarettes, the whole crush doesn’t turn into a single fireball.
Some people will be eating pastizzi, and others swilling cola with a strange Lidl name from large plastic bottles. Children are smacked and hit about the ears, shrieked at, and lie on the floor whining.
The swearing and creative use of blasphemy would be mind-blowing (I would be taking notes). God will have a fanny, the Madonna will be committing orgiastic incest, and the saints will be finding orifices which even Fifty Shades of Grey doesn’t know about yet.
Occasionally, a karozza armata will drive past, screech to a halt when the driver and passengers spot somebody they know, and one of those ‘Hawn ras’ conversations will ensue at top volume (“Ghabbejt, ta. Int ghabbejt?”), while traffic builds up behind. A bit of tooting, a cacophony of blaspheming, and off they screech again.
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Hilarious.
But there is more that is fundamentally not right with that poster.
Under the post-2013 Malta Labour Party government, that queue is more likely to be in front of a door with a sign saying “Labour Minister – Il-bieb tieghi miftuh ghal-Laburisti biss.”
Or at best, in front of a lotto office where the first prize in the weekly lottery is a “job mal-Gvern.”
This time you got it wrong.
They are waiting for Jospeh Muscat to tell them his policies if and when he is prime minister.
A great depiction of the typical Maltese in a queue (well, if you want to call it a queue with all the pushing going on). But this makes me wonder, are we truly European or not?
Mind you, Sicilians are much worse than us when it comes to keeping the queue, but then most Italians do not consider them as European.
The most irritating and sanctimonious ruse, I find, at the grocer in the morning, is, as they barge in front of you:
‘irrid nilhaq ta’-t tmienja’
The creative pose: hand to chin.
http://www.maltatoday.com.mt/en/newsdetails/news/national/For-a-creative-society-give-talent-a-level-playing-field-says-Muscat-20120804
Did they hijack a busload of pensioners and coffee morning attendees, to avoid an empty hall?
Just look at the list of speakers.
I thought there would be Edward de Bono, with his six hats and creative thinking theories.
As if! Edward de Bono is a rabid Labourite (pre-1964 vintage, a bit like that Yana Mintoff), but he’d never mix with this sort of crowd.
Is MaltaToday the “portavoce” of Joseph Muscat and Labour?
Daphne, a most vivid description. If I may, however, you forgot the smart guy who parks his car (speci) at the side and elbows his way to the front of the queue informing ‘is-security’ that he is to go first ‘ghax baghtu Doctor Farrugia’.
In fact Daphne, to me the PL response to the PN’s billboards is a sign of impatience.
They are all talking about how long they have been waiting for a bus, at the hospital, for Smart City, etc.
They didn’t understand that the line of people in the PN’s advert was a line of people unemployed, not waiting for a bus to take their spoiled, lazy backsides to the cinema.
Because unemployment holds no reality for them. They have jobs and can only complain about how long the bus takes to get them to their next shopping spree, drinking binge or fenkata.
[Daphne – Or majjalata now.]
So 20 years of Nationalist governance have left the Maltese behaving in the way you have just described. Nice, as our dear departed Onslow would say.
[Daphne – It is not a government’s responsibility to teach a person good manners, Stingray. A government can, however, create an environment in which terrible manners and arrogance are prized. Your heroes did just that. It wasn’t from Eddie Fenech Adami or Lawrence Gonzi that I learned how to use a knife and fork or stand in a queue.]
I think this mentality goes beyond the physical queues.
It also applies to appointments, permits or any other paperwork needed from government departments.
People are continually speaking to someone they know to get an early appointment etc and this just means more waiting time for all those who have been waiting their turn.
Just try taking a few bars of Kit-Kat the first time you go to Mater Dei. You will be surprised.
Magnificent! You captured the Maltese spirit beautifully!
The inability of the average Maltese to stand in a queue has always baffled me. I had been taught since I was a tiny tot that jumping place in a queue is bad, but I realised early on that most people didn’t really get the lesson.
It reaches a level with me that I am just too embarrassed to stand in this kind of free-for-all known as a Maltese kju.
If there are more than three people waiting I give it a miss and come by later. Besides, unless you emulate the various shenanigans, shove elderly people aside, step on toes and let rip a good stream of blasphemy there is no way of reaching the head of the queue anyway. So why bother?
A perfect picture you managed to create here.
You just missed something though. A Super One camera with Charlon Gouder asking questions.
[Daphne – He won’t be there, of course, because the idea, as I gather, is that Labour is in government here.]
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhaxEdzropo
There may be an orderly queue until the doors open
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MhaxEdzropo
I think I got a clue from my memory of what that queue is.
Do you remember many people queued up for over a weekend nearly two years ago aiming to be reimbursed for the car registration tax? What is the status on this?
Is he waiting to be a Prime Minister to reimburse those millions out of our pockets?
I think that the PN were a bit naive in this as the only party which like to put people in the queue for nothing is PL and the PN should have made on issue out of this.
A funny thing happened to me one day. I was at a government office where loads of people were all bunched up together waiting for a service.
I went up to them and politely said ‘who is last one in the queue’, so as to wait behind that person. They all stared at me thinking I was crackers.
Finally they realised what I meant and someone did tell me that he/she was the last person to arrive so I queued up behind.
Dan il-kju ifakkarni fil-kju li kien hemm quddiem id-Dar tal-Hgieg il-Hamrun meta Joseph gaghal lil kulhadd imur jirregistra halli jiftah kawza lill-gvern fuq il-VAT tar-registrazjoni tal-karozzi.
Ara x’battikata se jiehdu n-nies jekk ikollhom jergghu imorru fil-kju jekk Joseph ikun fil-gvern halli jaghtihom lura l-VAT li weghdhom. Imma nahseb li bir-riha se jibqghu ghax ma qal xejn aktar.
“God will have a fanny, the Madonna will be committing orgiastic incest, and the saints will be finding orifices which even Fifty Shades of Grey doesn’t know about yet.”
LOL.