Women don’t want Mr Grey. They just don’t want the life they have.
One of the silliest comments I have received in response to my post about Michelle Muscat and her fascination with Fifty Shades of Grey is that I should read it to learn how to please men.
Hmmm. I bet a man wrote that.
What can I say, except this? That any woman who has reached the age of 25, let alone my sort of age, without knowing exactly how some men and women like to get their kicks is pretty much a lost cause.
If they have got to a certain stage in life and need to read novels for tips and tricks, well…best draw a discreet veil over what I think.
Quite frankly, any woman who is that confused shouldn’t bother and should take up something she’s really good at, like knitting or baking gingerbread men, or drumming up votes for her husband, or trying to net herself an amazing catch like the Big Cock of Hal Ghaxaq (sorry, but sometimes I just can’t help myself).
So is any man a lost cause who thinks that women read that book for the sex. They don’t. They read it for the dreams of money and for the life they wish they had but don’t.
You can get descriptions of sado-masochistic sex in many books and lots of places. You can even get involved yourself. If any woman is so keen on that sort of thing that she has to read about it, then she might as well do it instead. Whatever the hobby, passion, interest or pastime, reading about it always strikes me as a very poor second to actually doing it.
So here’s some insight into why women are reading Fifty Shades of Grey. They want a lover who makes a hundred thousand dollars a day (or is it a minute? I’ve lost track), Rules the World, and then occasionally ties them up for sex because, come on, it’s a small price to pay for a permanent escape from the laundry and food-shopping at Lidl.
That’s why it’s so very definitely mummy porn. It’s read by all those women, and there are lots and lots of them, which is why the book has been such a runaway success, whose lives are stuck in a spirit-sapping, soul-destroying rut from which they can see no way out but fantasising about some rich prince on a white charger – or, in this case, in a helicopter – who will whisk them away from it all.
And if they must spend some time in the Red Room of Pain, or whatever it’s called (I’m relying on others here), then so what as long as they don’t have to load that damned washing-machine again or pin out another 50 boxer shorts to dry, following which they must stock the fridge and wash the floors.
Yes, it’s true that some women have failed to follow the sensible advice doled out on certain television action shows – “DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME” – and have gone out to buy a clandestine roll of clothes-line from their dealer, only to find that it wasn’t the SM sex they wanted after all.
It wasn’t even Mr Grey. It was the helicopter and his money. And if they can get the helicopter and his money, then they’ll happily do without him and his annoying demands.
Like I said earlier, you don’t reach my sort of age without learning a thing or two en route. The main reason why women shouldn’t allow themselves to be seen reading Fifty Shades of Grey – listen up, Mrs Muscat – is not the pornographic content. It’s the public statement of dissatisfaction with your lot. Some things are best not advertised.
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I like violence, fantasy, sex and stereotypes. That’s why I read the Bible.
Same reason I read the “A Song of Ice and Fire” series. Oh and zombies, you can’t forget the zombies.
Perfectly said H.P. :)
Baxxter hemm ghalfejn tkun redikolu fil-kummenti tieghek!
Iva, hemm ghalfejn. Imma “tkun redikolu fil-kummenti” ma fhimthiex. Huwa jien li jien ridikolu, jew il-kummenti?
Joking aside, the one book in the Bible I ever read from beginning to end it the Apocalypse. A cracking read. Sheer poetry. There’s a resignation and sadness which comes through, and a sense of hopelessness and doubt, which is Hellenic through and through. None of that Middle Eastern cocksure faith.
Ghalfejn redikolu? Mela qatt ma qrajtha il-bibbja?
Mela ghax taqra il-Bibbja tkun redikolu?
Old Testament or New Testament? I’m still trying to get through the Old Testament. Certainly has a lot of ‘begats’.
True, Baxxter. Great source of inspiration too.
Only the other day I was thinking: maybe it’s time to build a boat, load up one male and one female of every species (sorry, no gays), ask the Old Man to flood the bloody place and start anew.
Agreed. But leave humans out of the list.
I suppose you fancy yourself a worthy man to be aboard the boat Riff Raff? And of course, you’re not gay, heaven forbid!
Perhaps it was just plain curiosity ?
http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/the-fifty-shades-of-grey-phenomenon-%E2%80%93-putting-women-in-their-place-.html
Dear Daphne, are you confirming that all you women want is money, money and all they can get with it.
[Daphne – Silvio, everybody wants money because it makes life easier. The difference between women and men is that men are freed up to earn their own, but women in the ‘mummy’ stage of their life tend to have no money, no freedom and no power. But they dream about it – hence, the fantasy escape of Fifty Shades of Grey and its appeal to women in this particular stage of life. And yes, of course there are some women who see a man as a route to money, but they are easily identifiable so you can avoid them.]
Dear Daphne,pity you had to abridge my comment.
Was it so inappropriate?
Well it’s your blog and your perogative. I tend to accept all your decisions.
If I am not misstaken, in our days, we used to be taught how to avoid those who were labled as gold diggers.
I must agree with what you say about women in the “mummy” stage. What you missed out was the effort made by mummies to try and make their little darlings make the right choice, and that dependid mostly on the size of daddy’s wallet.
God bless you all.
As far as I can tell from the story, this Mr Grey is getting all he wants only because he has money, money, money. Would he have had his way if he had been a pauper? Money is driving them both.
And no, we are not all like this.
I’d rather live in a shack and eat left-overs than sell my self-respect and independence.
And I’d much rather be spending my own money than anybody else’s – it’s empowering – that way you don’t have to put up with anything you don’t want to put up with.
I really can’t fathom why it is such a big hit with women. From what I can gather, it is very demeaning towards the female sex, their aspirations and their independence.
It pains me to think that such a book might be the only read some women have had for years.
Ta’ Lady Chatterley ma kienx sinjur, imma kien ta’ veru.
You may well be right about the first wave of readers, but now it’s probably just a snowball effect and loads of people are reading it just to see what the media fuss is all about.
[Daphne – Rubbish. It’s impossible to stick with a book just to see what all the media fuss is about, even if you were inclined to start it for that reason in the first place. Soho’s sex shops are promoting Fifty Shades of Grey and one of them has a massive neon lit promotion in the window: YOU’VE READ THE BOOK, NOW BUY THE TOYS.]
Can it be simply because they are daft and can’t recognise a good book or because they don’t have a mind of their own to think with, so they just follow like goats.
I’ve read it cause Michelle has :)
I find it incredible that in this day and age, so many women are still blindly choosing to go the motherhood route. What satisfaction can possibly be derived from doing housework round the clock and raising a bunch of kids, giving up one’s financial independence and becoming a stereotypical nagging wife who makes everybody’s life hell?
As to the younger ones who believe they can juggle career and home life, I simply say they are deluded. A few make a good living and have flexibility at work but even then their hard-earnt money has to go on spoiling their little brats, paying for the best education, clothing etc. to repeat their own cycle of life and reproduce replicas of themselves. Yet I bet they still do most of the housework and are no better than paid manual labourers cum sex objects for their husbands.
Not to mention all the effort and extent some women go to to keep a man; surgery and living a life centred around their looks.
Familiarity breeds contempt and a life of independence is possible for women if they realize that children are a luxury only the rich should afford, only if you afford full-time cleaning services and a nanny to give you a breather. Otherwise it’s a life of drudgery.
Then again i advocate living in separately and read books like “40 reasons not to have children”. I don’t have any inclination to read 50 shades and it makes me sad that so many women have chosen to live a life of drudgery and alienate themselves with pornographic literature.
Feminism seems to have failed women, there is incredible pressure for women to have children as though society were conspiring to keep women enslaved to the kitchen sink and their men. Sure, men have no problems with having children, they don’t alter their lifestyle that much and if they don’t like going back home to a frustrated, nagging wife and screaming children, they have the handy excuse of putting in longer hours at the office to provide for the family.
The trilogy of 50 shades is not just about sex its much more than that and it’s not only a question of money as well. from what you don’t know much about the story and thus unless you have read the book you can’t judge it or those who read it.