Public displays of self-pity are supposed to be contemptible
“We have a problem. There’s been an incident in one of our tanks.”
And while on the subject of Franco Debono, and kind souls who should explain things to him because he doesn’t read them here, please do tell him that public displays of self-pity – indeed, self-pity itself – are almost universally held in contempt.
Tell him something he clearly never learned while growing up in that home in Hal Ghaxaq: that individuals who parade their self-pity are scorned. This is especially so when they are men, though even women don’t get away with it nowadays, the era of the dramatic, tragic widow being long gone.
Franco is wrong to take account of the faux-supportive comments of a cultural minority who see absolutely nothing wrong, still less freakishly disturbing, in somebody – and what’s more, a MAN – whining and bleating all over the forum in search of sympathy, while cataloguing his real and perceived miseries.
On a positive note: at least we’re not at war and Franco hasn’t been conscripted. Because can you imagine sharing a muddy trench, a billet or the inside of a tank with this freak-show?
“I’m cold. I’m tired. I’m hungry. When are we going home? Qieghed inbati. Kemm qed inbati. Dak hadli l-hand grenade. Dak ghandu zewg kutri u jien ghandi wahda biss.”
“Isss! Dak ghandu sleeping bag u jiena m’ghandix. X’sofferenzi! X’sagrificcju! Imma dan sew?”
“M’ghamluniex kurunell. Dak ghax ghandi idejat tajbin u jghejru ghalija. Ghamlu lil Mifsud Bonnici minfloki ghax kellu n-nannu brigadier. Nirrispettah ta, u habib tieghi, imma Ustja x’batija din. Lanqas ta’ Kristu. U attakkawli lil mummy ukoll! Fejn trid tasal izjed? Dik krudelta!”
Shots are fired and two of his mates fall dead. There is a huge blast, clouds of black smoke and flying debris as a convoy of trucks is blown up nearby by a suicide bomber. Franco is oblivious and carries on.
“Il-vera qed inbati. Haduli l-idejat. U attakkawli lil mama! Why don’t they go and see who really needs a psychiatrist, mela healthy and normal people like me! Ara ftit, ghamlu lil Austin Pipi Gatt maggur u hallewni hawn semplici suldat ghax jien ragel sabih u huma koroh.”
Franco walks into the mess carrying a hand grenade. Everyone freezes. He stands there with his fingers on the pin, bitching about the Evil Click. The urge to brain him with a soup ladle is strong, but nobody tries.
Then somebody says in a loud whisper: “IS THAT A PONY ON HIS FLAK JACKET?”
Franco pulls the pin.
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Gawd, that was hilarious. Do you think he could find the pin?
He will certainly know how to find the pin and what to do with it?
As much certainly, he will not know what the repercussions are – frankly I doubt he would be too concerned about that.
Mummy, mummy ara x’qed taghmilli Defni. Tell her to stop pleez.
Ahjar tghid it-tabib iziedli il-pirmli ghax breakdown iehor gej.
Il-hanina x’fik kemm inti tajba, Daphne. X’idea tajtni ghal play tal-Christmas tal-iskola! Nahseb tirnexxi daqs tal-bikja ta’ JPO. BTW meta gibed il-pin zamma f’idu l-grenade?
Le, Natalie. Zamm il-grenade, rema l-pin u telaq jigri.
Great analogy, Daphne – we’ll see how this ends.
I wonder why he took your words so badly. He takes life too seriously, even taking up a blog to compete with yours.
So very funny, Daphne – thank you for a good laugh.
His useless prima Donna backbencher life will come to an end soon anyway. In his present state of mind he seems bent on pulling the pin. But his strategy is to inflict as much harm to the Prime Minster as possible, humiliating the government till the very last day through private motions seeking resignations of a selection of ministers.
All this appears to be already colluded with the opposition.
This is great. I loved it.
Bniedem ridikolu li wasal fi stat patetiku.
He would probably carry his Form 2C report in his back pocket.
It might come in handy if he is taken prisoner of war.
“Nikkmandakom tohorguni minn hawn! Qed nammonikom.” (Then flips out his Form 2C report and uses it like a yellow card.)
Please, Daphne, more like this. Make my recovery from surgery a happy one.
Ma tfal iz-zghar qedin naghmluha u xejn aktar jekk ma tghidx xi haga favur taghhom johdu ghalihom u allahares jisimghu xi haga kontrihom. TFAL ZGHAR ghandna. Xejn aktar.
Daphne you made my day and that’s only after my first coffee of the day. Or what’s left of it.
“Jafu kemm jien bniedem kapaci b’ dawk il-marki kollha li gibt fil-Form II. Mela ghalfejn il-kmandant hallieni hawn, semplici suldat. Bilfors ghamewh il-klikka ta’ madwaru.
Ghalfejn jiddiehqu biha ghax mort tajjeb fl-ezamijiet? Jien nidhaq b’ min wehel mill-ezami. Ara dak m’ ghaddiex mil-ezami fl-universita u xorta jigi imbuttat ‘il quddiem. Dik meritokrazija! Fiex wasalna!”
Hilarious. The one reason I wish he would pull that pin is because I am sick and tired of seeing him making a fool of himself.
Kemm naf b’nies li hargu bil-first class honours minn tlett universitajiet. Imma jiefqu hemm. Fil-prattika u l-pratticitajiet tal-hajja, ma jiswewx habba.
Franco ghandu bzonn jemmen ftit f’Alla. Alla ta’ grazzja u don lil kulhadd. Hemm min hu tajjeb igib il-marki tajbin mill-universita, hemm min juzahom u jiswa ta’ ftit gid meta johrog barra fis-socjeta u jhalli ftit gid, hemm min ibati fl-istudju u jibbrilla fil-lat prattiku tal-hajja, hemm min ma tghallimx skola u ma jdejjaq lil hadd. All sorts kif jghidu.
Li kien ghal Franco kulhadd streamlined, jigifieri, skond il-kapacitajiet akkademici tieghu. X’affarijeit dawn. Madonna vera insult ghal min, miskin twieled u zviluppa dyslexic jew b’xi forma ta’ diffikulta akkademika ohra u baqa lura akkademikament fil-hajja imma ghall-grazzja kbira t’Alla ibbrilla f’affarijiet ohra.
Franco s’issa qabad ma’ Austin Gatt, Dolores Cristina, Carm Mifsud Bonnici, Helen D’Amato, Lawrence Gonzi, Manuel Delia, Hermann Schiavone, Tonio Borg, Beppe Fenech Adami, George Pullicino, Richard Cachia Caruana, Paul Borg Olivier, insomma il-partit.
Xi ftit minnhom jghid li jirrispetthom, l-ohrajn, jew ghax ikrah jew ghax bicca teacher, le.
Ara vera bicca deputat.
This made me laugh until I realised that it is not in the least exaggerated but written exactly as Franco talks and reasons.
His being ignorant I can understand. The man studied, got the required grades and bettered his position in life.
What I cannot understand is now that people have pointed out his shortcomings – only because he made an ass of himself; I’m sure his colleagues would have let him watch and learn – how is it that he does not recoil in shame at his outrageous behaviour?
One word that will never be used to describe Franco: dignified.
The acquisition of an academic qualification is no guarantee of a proof of intelligence let alone maturity.
I know of a number of academic high fliers who not only find difficulty in inserting themselves in the world of employment but also lead a disastrous social and family life.
FD’s case?
Why doesn’t Franco recoil in shame?
Simple, Antoinette: Franco lives in a world of his own where he is supreme and above all.
All one has to do is read his tirades and consistently will find a common denominator: that he knows best and everyone else is inferior especially if they scored less than 100% in religious studies in Form IIC.
Now that there is a real chance that Dom Mintoff will be the first Maltese politician to become a saint, Franco Debono will surely want to invoke the “me” clause to beat Dom Mintoff to it.
There was never a declared saint while living. Mintoff beat him to it (thankfully), Joseph beat him becoming a Party leader and will beat him again at becoming a younger prime minister than Franco will ever be.
This is what constantly gnaws at Franco’s guts.
Franco should join the Royal Marines. He is eligible as a Commonwealth citizen. Top marks igib zgur.
Here it is Franco, just click and apply. I’m pretty sure they would love a ‘tifel biezel’ like you in their team.
http://www.royalnavy.mod.uk/careers/~/media/Files/CNR-PDFs/Royal%20Marines.pdf
He may have top marks in Form IIc, but he will never go past a standard medical exam given to army recruits.
He will probably fail in two important areas. Guess which?
Jgholli idu min jaqbel mieghu li il-kmandant hallih suldat semplici
The subject of Franko The Bono suits the Running Nosebook like a rubber cap on Dick’s head.
[Daphne – Is it raining in Brussels, Kevin? I can recommend one of those rubber caps.]
Sadly, the sun had nowhere to hide, today.
But seriously now, The Bono and The Nosebook do sort of complement one another, don’t you think?
A rubbery symbiosis – the type you’d never be able to unknot…
Kultant tikteb qisek Ranier Fsadni, kev. Tigi minnu?
Brilliant
I’d like to ask Dr Debono why he keeps bringing up his Form 2 results and not his entire primary-to-tertiary range of scores as an achievement ‘quod erat demonstrandum’.
Surely a journey of academic brilliance demonstrates more than a quasi-pubescent instance of good marks. Or perhaps MENSA certification.
Just as Joseph will not reveal any plans should he become the next PM.
Both have warts to hide. After all were they not schoolmates, products of the same era?
My suspicion, though, is that Joseph has an edge over Franco, proven by the fact that he manipulated his Party into electing him leader, while Franco manipulated his Party to exact revenge over various ministers, simply because he screwed up and disqualified himself from being considered, let alone being appointed one.
He can spend the rest of his life defending petty crooks, while Joseph will be chauffeur driven from one ribbon cutting ceremony to the next. As a minimum, he will still be leader of the Opposition with a better salary, better perks than Franco will ever enjoy.
Pulling out the hand grenade pin would not be enough unless he then drops the thing between his legs, puts his fingers in his ears and screws his eyes tight shut.
[Daphne – I see that he has incensed you, for that is a most unChristian comment, Dr Saliba, though one with which we wholeheartedly concur.]
Isn’t that an old Newfie (Newfoundlander) joke (denoting stupidity) if I recall correctly?
Good one, Daphne … and I don’t believe him when he says he doesn’t read this blog.
My thoughts exactly: “Grow a pair!”
Not after he blew the originals.
It’s ‘Clique’ not ‘Click’ dear…. And then you go bitching everyone about good use of grammar…
[Daphne – You have already posted this observation under the nick ‘NotmychoicePN’. If you wish to trick me, don’t be so silly as to use the same false email address. Be cunning and change it. And if you want to be REALLY smart, use a computer in a difference location, too. Marelli, these Labour supporters. They need to have everything spelled out to them.]
Such patronising comments are so irritating, but I love it when you do not explain the situation. I’m sure that winds them up even though they’ll take it as a win.
@anonymous –
Kindly keep up, newbie.
Does your barrel have a bottom, Anony-mouse?
Hi Daph,
Quite hilarious.
I don’t really agree with the end.
He would tell everybody that his finger is on the pin, that he is going to pull the pin, but in the end he will throw away the hand grenade – with the pin still in.
Cheers.
“…but in the end he will throw away the hand grenade – with the pin still in”.
Of course, he would swear that it was a defective hand grenade and not that he failed to pull the pin! He’s always right, you know.
The more he speaks the more he comes out as not suitable for a ministerial post.
His utter irresponsibility is evident when he tries to justify his actions as truly democratic and in the interest of his constituents, when everyone knows that he is only able to do this because he holds the balance of power in parliament.
He is the man with the hand grenade. Very democratic.
Daphne… I tried, believe me I tried, but it’s like talking to a brick wall. And he’s so pissed off that you posted that he needs to see a psychiatrist that he also started a post about a fellow MP who really needed such help. So Christian of him.
[Daphne – I don’t think he NEEDS to see a psychiatrist. He can do what the hell he likes, including stay cracked, for all I care. Once he’s disappeared into a black hole in Hal Ghaxaq or his Strada Stretta office, he will have about as much relevance to my life as any other of the multifarious neurotics who populate these islands. Unless he starts sending me abusive emails or posting abusive comments here, he’s his mother’s problem and not mine.]
lol
Blackadder move over.
x’batija > xi tbatija
That was FANTASTIC.
You should write a book on Maltese politicians, taking the mickey of each one.
Pity you don’t write the scripts of the Christmas pantomines too. We face such characters on a daily basis, and unfortunately you can find many in the workplace too. I’m sick of the sound of MISKIN! If I hear it again I’ll just want to scream.
Daphne
Did Franco resign his post as Parliamentary Assistant or is he still being paid for something he hasn’t done in months?
[Daphne – He’s still there, getting paid for doing nothing.]