Skyfall can wait. Hold your breath for the blockbusting John Dalli blog.
Now that he has a little more time on his hands in between making sure that he clears up the damage done to HIM and to HIS FAMILY and TO THEIR FUTURE, John Dalli will be writing a blog.
A member of my international worldwide network of spies (IWNS) discovered this amazing fact by accident while surfing the net to find out whether this seasoned politician has a website of his own.
www.johndalli.com brought up:
John Dalli’s New Blog
“I’ve come to accept that the life of a frontrunner is a hard one, that he will suffer more injuries than most men and that many of these injuries will not be accidental” Pele
Thank you for visiting my Blog Site.
Please stay tuned for new POSTS coming soon.
Thanks
John Dalli
Stay tuned, eh? What does he think it is – a radio?
‘Thanks’ – I love it. So Maltese chav. How do thanks come into it exactly?
That was posted three days ago, and it’s taken us all this long to find out. Meanwhile, he’s hard at work trying to find somebody to write his blog-posts for him.
Perhaps Circus Act Silvio will oblige. He wrote those emails so well.
I have a suggested title for his first post:
WHY I RANG JOSEPH MUSCAT AS SOON AS I CAME OUT OF BARROSO’S OFFICE
And then another one:
WHY I LOVE SARGAS AND WHY LABOUR LOVES IT TOO
And perhaps another one:
THE THINGS YOU CAN DO WITH SIXTY MILLION EUROS
And more:
IOSIF GALEA, SILVIO ZAMMIT, GAYLE KIMBERLEY AND ME
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How about:
WHAT THE WIFE SAID TO ME WHEN SHE FOUND OUT I’D BEEN SUPPOSEDLY SUCKERED BY A YOUNG FEMALE LAWYER
And
WHY I DIDN’T IMMEDIATELY SUE SILVIO ZAMMIT WHEN I FOUND OUT THAT HE WAS USING MY NAME TO SOLICIT BRIBES
How about : DON’T CALL US, WE WILL CALL YOU !
Please add ‘WHY I LOVE LIBYA’ to your list.
Past tense. Gaddafi’s gone.
Another possible title:
GADDAFI IS GONE. ISSA J DALLI BA.
And
WHY I THINK MY WHOLE FUTURE’S RUINED EVEN THOUGH I’M A YEAR AWAY FROM RECEIVING A PENSION FROM MALTA
WHY I DESERVE 9,000 EUROS A MONTH FOR THE NEXT THREE YEARS AND A PENSION FOR LIFE WHILE THE EU’S DESTITUTE BEG ON THE STREETS
And:
WHAT ONE’S INTEGRITY HAS TO DO WITH ONE’S PENSION
Josanne Cassar could lend him a hand.
http://ec.europa.eu/commission_2010-2014/interests/pdf/dalli_interests_en.pdf
Dont´t you that the tax authorities should check how this poor man lives?
Daphne, you mention Sargas, but you haven’t written one word about B.W.S.C’s opera at Delimara, after it became evident that the new power station ” won’t work ” !
Ahem. What do you know about Dalli, Sargas, and Muscat?
Come one, say it. The suspense will kill you.
Eddy. The power station at Delimara will work once the damage to the turbine is repaired. Labour, on the other hand won’t work. Now stop drooling and slither back to the back of the cave where you belong.
If it won’t work, Eddy, why did the PL mobilise the South against it? Iddeciedu, pl!
http://ec.europa.eu/commission_2010-2014/interests/pdf/dalli_interests
Don´t you think that the tax authorities should check how this poor man lives?
That link is dead.
Can you upload somewhere else, maybe as a jpeg to tinypic?
http://ec.europa.eu/commission_2010-2014/interests/pdf/dalli_interests_en.pdf
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it’s a blogger.
Superman has left the Daily Planet for a “career” online.
You probably heard about it this week on some news website or social network, but I am here to tell you about it again, via the medium that the Man of Steel has apparently eschewed for ever.
Giles Coren today on http://www.thetimes.co.uk.
It has nothing to do with Dalli but it seems fitting for his blog.
And I also expect a blog post about a very important question:
WHAT JOSEPH MUSCAT KNEW ABOUT SNUSGATE BEFORE 50PM ON TUESDAY, 16 OCTOBER 2012
If Joseph Muscat was aware of snusgate and the OLAF investigation before it became public knowledge, it was exceptionally stupid of him to continue associating the PL with Dalli.
Joseph Muscat has not disassociated the PL from Dalli even after snusgate and the OLAF investigation became public knowledge.
He was the one to boast about the 5 o’clock phone call from Dalli, and it was his TV station that ran the first live interview with the former Commissioner.
News about Snusgate were given low priority on Super One news in the days after the resignation.
Where does that leave us with respect to Joseph Muscat and what he knew about Snusgate before 5.00pm of 16 October 2012?
Maybe he can contact Silvio Parnis and help him organise the coffee mornings.
Dalli is used to entertaining people after hours in Brussels. That bozza tal-elf Silvio Parnis can help Dalli draft his blog-posts in return.
http://john-dalli-eu-cv.blogspot.com/
http://ec-eu-john-dalli.blogspot.com/
http://1st-moon.blogspot.com/
http://jd-4th-one.blogspot.com/
Where is Dr. Muscat off to tomorrow?
http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20121027/local/muscat.442851
Poodle, perhaps you missed to note that Gonzi’s Sunday sermons have for weeks on end been recorded. Woof!
How about Dallibaba and the 40 thieves.
One can check on this website to see how Malta is being cut up in the UK thanks to Dallibaba
britain-today.blogspot.com
They quote Maltastar and Franco. Obviously rubbish then.
Another one, who thinks he is a frontrunner and so as a consequence has to suffer a lot. Sounds very familiar.
I think Dalli already receives the old age pension from Malta, and also the parliament pension. Dalli is sixty-four, and he started receiving the pension at the age of sixty-one. The EU pension he will start to receive at the age of sixty-five. Correct me if I’m wrong.
Franco Debono’s blog ‘mystery writer’ is going to become extremely busy, then. We hope she does not mix up all these blogs.
May I humbly suggest that the name of your ‘international worldwide network of spies (IWNS), be changed to ‘International Worldwide Independent Network of Spies (I WINS).
Now that he is no longer a Commissioner, will he be eligible to contest the next general elections?
[Daphne – If Joseph Muscat accepts him on Labour’s ticket, yes. If he stands on the PN ticket, it will lose even more votes.]
Silvio Zammit is haunting Johnny Dalli. He called Reno Bugeja “Silvio” during Dissett on TVM tonight.
How about this then:
LAST MAN LAUGHING. How I will cheat justice yet.
As a professional copywriter, here’s my free present of the text to go with it:
Last Man Laughing
Wisdom has it that justice will sooner or later catch up with us all, that truth will out, or that – in the words of my beloved national language – iz-zejt jitla’ f’wicc l-ilma.
Wisdom is wrong.
Many are those who have slipped through the net of justice, who have accumulated ill-gotten gains without ever being held to account, and who ended their sordid careers in triumph, laughing all the way to the bank.
Politics in Malta is the safest of career options. You bend rules, you lie, cheat a little, make up a few fiery speeches on the hoof, and Bob’s your uncle – you’re elected. Once in parliament, you’re covered by a mantle of privileges and proscriptions, and are guaranteed a solid salary, which means that you’re free to ratchet up your profiteering to the next level.
To help you along, nature endowed the Maltese people with a breathtaking indifference to right or wrong, and to the wrongdoings of their political masters. For make no mistake – you are no servant of the people. You are their master, there to lord it over them with your titles and connections and all the trappings of power given to you by a sovereign state. They will see no evil and hear no evil, and the lobotomised press will make sure you are given the benefit of the doubt when there is a doubt and free rein when there isn’t.
You will thus become rich. Very rich. You will use your connections, twist arms, pull strings and fiddle with knobs, grease palms and count the kickbacks. Your network of connections will grow. If you play your cards right, it will take open doors you never even knew existed, in faraway lands.
Meanwhile, your ever-growing army of canvassers and minions will do your bidding, cheerfully and willingly, allowing you to concentrate on the lucrative essentials. You are thus guaranteed to be elected at that crucial second election.
You will be carried shoulder-high in triumph down your village high street, where fat housewives will join grizzled louts and benevolent priests in singing your praise. They will be proud to say they gave you l-Unu.
Your second legislature! You are now a seasoned politician. Power begets power, and your electoral success is now a done deal. You can win electoral seats in your sleep, and make policy in between rounds of golf, yachting trips and lunches with the rich and powerful. It’s all a breeze to you.
You will, of course, be a cabinet minister by now. Your word decides national policy. You run the lives of four hundred thousand shrieking imbeciles, drunk on Xarabank and stories of weeping statues. They will see in you a congenial, approachable, respectable local boy made good. And you will make sure you keep up appearances. Your door is open to anyone. You will banish the word “No” from our vocabulary. You will promise everything to everyone. Including the official Opposition, with whose members you will socialise at will. For you are all in the same boat. You will slap backs and make schoolboy shower jokes at Cordina’s or the Palace, but you will blast away at the Opposition in your fire and brimstone speeches.
You will be what your electors wish they could be, but know they never will – rich and powerful, with the manners and morals of cad and a rogue. “Kemm hu minn taghna,” they will say, “rani fil-pjazza u sellimli.” You will avoid any attempt at intellect or polished thought, for it would scare them away. You must be like a fish in the water: you behave like them, you speak like them, you think like them.
And you will make sure they believe you live like them, in some square-hewn town shitehouse, with a jutting balcony and rampant limestone horse in the front garden. But you will live elsewhere, away from that rabble, among foreign oligarchs and their trophy girlfriends if possible, in house that could fit a hospital wing, that costs as much, with superb views and mod cons.
You will be pushing sixty by now. Your political career is rock-solid. Your offspring will be carrying on in your business empire, and you pick and choose from the bevy of plum jobs offered to you by your party leader. Brussels perhaps, with its five-figure salaries plus perks. Or Luxembourg, that perfect SimCity, where you will quaff vintage champagne and talk about social conscience and the risk of poverty.
You will have learned to use your eyebrows skilfully. You can mould your facial expression at will, to convey compassion and moral rectitude, making sure the gullible People stay on your side.
You are now past sixty, and at the pinnacle of power. And you have the last laugh.
What a splendid profession is politics.
Very good, but you’ve forgotten one thing: You will always play the victim whenever the finger of suspicion is pointed at you.
I don’t know you, Baxxter, but I owe you a pint.
“Abroad everyone is questioning the official version of events, asking questions, expressing doubts, and calling for transparency. In Malta however, everyone accepted the verdict from the very first moment, and the criticism began. It is all concocted.” John Dalli
No, it’s simply because no depth of folly from your side surprises us.
Or else – ‘lil min tafu tistaqsix ghalih’.
John Dalli could kick-start his blog by making an apology to the Prime Minister and to the nation for the embarresment he had caused.
i do not think that the PN will now allow Dalli to stand for elections on its ticket.
He has had too many appearances on ONE-TV to be trusted any more and even so he himselfknows that PN supporters would not cast a vote in his favour
He gets more pathetic by the day.
And it takes an “international worldwide network of spies” to find out that a controversial political personality has set up his own blog.
The network members seem to fall short of being licensed to kill it seems. More like a group of “pecluqa”.
[Daphne – Labour supporters: if the humour is subtle, they miss it. It’s got to be ZOO.]
Mandango80 suffers from “sar·chasm (‘sär-“ka-z&m) : The giant gulf (chasm) between what is said and the person who doesn’t get it.”
Mela hsibtni tuba bhalek? You call that humour? Daphne actually believes it. Its akin to a politician who lies through his nose (tipo Berlusconi), who actually start believing the rubbish they dish out sooner or later.
Its not very different in Daphne’s case.
[Daphne – There you blow again. There are too many cultural differences between us, I’m sorry. I can’t see what’s funny about Zoo. Or Bla Kondixin, for that matter.]