If you’re doing it for the first time, vote Labour

Published: January 9, 2013 at 2:07pm

My slightly older readers might remember that this was a famous piece of Labour campaign collateral in 1996: a postcard of two ‘yoots’ (except, of course, they were male and female and not male and male) heading off to have sex, with the message:

IF YOU’RE DOING IT FOR THE FIRST TIME, VOTE LABOUR.

This was targetted at first-time voters, but for some reason I (aged 32, married for 11 years, and with three children) got one too.

Anyway, now that Owen Bonnici is at it. Well, not at it, because his wife might be upset. But he’s taken up that tired theme and this week he’s sent out flyers telling people that they can never forget their first kiss, their first love…or their first vote.

Well, actually it’s the first something else that people don’t forget, but our Owen is probably squeamish about mentioning that, even though Alfred Sant wasn’t 16 years ago.

And fascinatingly, nowhere on the message is there any mention of the Labour Party, even though Owen Bonnici is a Labour star candidate.

Oh, and incidentally, the man who received this, and sent me a scan, is at the sort of age where he would have to be really worried if he were doing anything at all for the first time.




16 Comments Comment

  1. Miss O'Brien says:

    This is another rip off from the Obama campaign. It was done by Lena Dunham, creator of the HBO series Girls

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6G3nwhPuR4

  2. Herman says:

    The first time I voted was for PN in December 1981. PN got the majorty of votes but still could not govern the country. I will definitely never forget my first vote.

  3. Mario d Boss says:

    Since Monday, we have been having 903 with Miriam Dalli on Super 1 at aroud 11pm.

    Well, Tuesday’s guest was Justine “sriep” Caruana, babbling about the need to work with everyone and opening her arms for ex-PN to join this great movement.

    Try and get the video and post it on your blog, juxtaposed with her famous “dawk mhux parti mill-familja taghna” words from the red torca banner days. That would make for either a conversion worthy of competing with the one experienced by Paul on the road to Damascus, or else plain and simple opportunism.

  4. Tonio says:

    I’m sure that anyone voting Labour for the first time will never forget it. After all it will be the biggest mistake of their life.

  5. SPAM says:

    2003 – EU Referendum

    Owen – you do not need to remind us.

    Thank you.

  6. Lomax says:

    I remember the tagline too. It sucked. And I voted PN and it lost.

    What a horrible year that was.

  7. Jose says:

    > Oh, and incidentally, the man who received this, and sent me a scan, is at the sort of age where he would have to be really worried if he were doing anything at all for the first time.

    Hey! It’s never too late to try anything!

    [Daphne – No. What that means is that there are no firsts of that nature left to try.]

  8. H.P. Baxxter says:

    Privitera’s doing it for the very last time. How should he vote?

  9. Adrian says:

    If you are doing it for the first time use a condom. That means protect yourself and your partner.

    Very much the opposite if you vote Labour. You would be jeopardizing yourself and your loved one.

  10. Lilla says:

    Besides this superficial display, Owen Bonnici should really stop phoning and text messaging people who have personally informed him to stop bothering them.

  11. H.P. Baxxter says:

    I promised myself I wouldn’t do bawdy innuendo in 2013, but this stuff just writes itself:

    If you’re doing it for the first time, go for the safer option, not the full-on five-year rogering up the bum.

    • The Phoenix says:

      Baxx…….Rogering usually means being shafted up the tradesman’s entrance without the benefit of astroglide.

      Which is what will happen to us all if the MLP gets elected.

    • Harry Purdie says:

      Bawdy innuendo suits you. Just don’t bend over when you vote. Little Joey could be next in line.

  12. il baks says:

    I will never forget my first time.

    my first political discrimination
    my first week without teachers and without school
    my first lesson in compulsory Arabic
    my first beating during mass meetings
    my first 20-punt to go to university
    my first transfer

    And I will never forget my first vote, either. It certainly wasn’t for Labour.

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