“Maaaaa, how cool and hip I feel, voting for JosephMuscat.com.”

Do you ever get the feeling that Labour politics is mainly about the Revenge of the Nerds? Think about it, from Mintoff down.

This is why I think that to admire Muscat and get to the point where you decide to vote for him, you’ve got to have been a bit of nerd yourself, one who had a makeover/money that went to your head, except that your mental and physical make-over doesn’t allow you to acknowledge your nerd history.

And by this I don’t mean nerd as in brainy, but nerd as in classroom creep and student wallflower, always in the wrong clothes, wrong hairdo and with the ‘out’ bunch of friends.

Politics becomes a way of getting the attention and power you craved but never had. Watch this freaky chap go.

Incidentally, it’s becoming increasingly unfashionable, as the campaign progresses, to admit to being a switcher. This isn’t because of ‘fear’, as the Labour Party claims. It’s because the Labour Party, and Muscat in particular, have come to be seen – literally overnight – as bloody embarrassing again in those circles of switchers.

Even those who up to two months ago were braying on about the need for change and how they fancy Labour are now disowning that view or pretending they never said anything of the sort.

The thing people in this group fear most is not reprisal, as Muscat thinks, but being laughed at for their stupid choices. Which is why, just after the election in 1996, I knew crowds of acquaintances who had voted Labour but six months later only people who had voted, mysteriously, for the Nationalist Party.

I’ve always thought Muscat totally uncool, and I’d also noticed that his main appeal was for the people of my generation who missed the cool boat when young and are desperately trying to buy a ferry ticket now, when it’s way too late. So they hang about with other people who were hopelessly uncool when we were 20 and who reassure each other that they’re cool now (but they’re not – at all; they’re just the same uncool people with more clothes, money and freedom from social strictures). Very much like Joseph and Michelle, in fact – no wonder they admire them.

Anyway, here’s nobody’s dream date: