Are you watching Xarabank?

Published: March 1, 2013 at 9:36pm

A day in the life of Joseph. My God, how nauseating. Sickbag time. With that stupid woman fawning over her husband who couldn’t care less, and the two of them shamelessing shoving their children into the camera and using them as electoral tools, and then God forbid anyone should say anything.

His two promotional elements: it-twins u l-gym.

Now of course we have the obligatory scene at the gym, with a trainer who’s even more out of shape than he is. And we are expected to believe that he’s lifting those weights without effort.

And now it’s sob story time, with how they protect their poor children from seeing daddy on the evil PN’s billboards. I don’t suppose it occurs to them that practically all of Labour’s targets have children too, and no conscience there.

Ghall-erwieh, Posh and Becks are off the screen at last. Now it’s a day in the life of Lawrence Gonzi. He’s got grandchildren, but he’s not shoving them in our face for half the allotted time or boasting about his children. It’s just in passing. I’d never really noticed before, but Kate Gonzi is properly beautiful.

What with her and Mrs Austin Gatt, no wonder Franco Debono permanently has his antlers down.

The PM has just told an anecdote about how his grandson downloaded 20 dinosaur programmes onto his iPad. “If somebody takes my iPad he’ll wonder what sort of prime minister Malta has, with all those dinosaurs,” he said.

Well, at least you’ve got them only in your iPad, Mr Prime Minister. Joseph’s got them in his party and soon he’ll have them in his cabinet.

————-

AND WHAT DO YOU THINK OF JOSEPH’S MAKE-UP? X’NAQA LISPTIK FAQQALNA L-BOY! Min jaf Kenneth kemm qieghed jarah sabih.

That’s all he needed, to really put off even greater scores of women.

And have you noticed how his accent slips when he’s agitated and overwrought? I wonder if it happens to Ramona Frendo.

Perhaps they exchange notes on the subject.

Eeeeeee, how nice! Joseph he has a fake fajjer ta. And the fake fajjer it has a fireguard! Ma jmurx jikser dahru jgorr il-logs.

More twins, xi dwejjaq. Typical project children with parents behaving as though reproduction is some exceptional feat. I have no time for politicians who use their children in this way.

Missieru gie minn bekgrawnd daqxejn umli, miskin – the lying hypocrite doesn’t tell his ‘fens’ that his father is rich enough to have kept his son way beyond the usual age and paid for his house and swimming-pool too, which is why the most expensive thing Joseph ever bought, apart from his car, was a handbag for his wife.




116 Comments Comment

  1. La Redoute says:

    Isn’t it a little bit strange that they saw fit, yet again, to show the obligatory scene where Michelle does the children’s hair and Joseph does the talking?

    But then they’re both at pains to point out that he wakes them up, dresses them, and spends time with them.

  2. Soppa tal-armla says:

    “Ghamilt naqra soup.”

    [Daphne – Waaahahahahahaha. Madonna, what hamalli. Il-vera back to basics. Imbasta nitkellmu bl-English.]

    • bookworm says:

      U naqa’ salad, affarijiet hfief, ghalhekk qisu rixa.

    • M. says:

      What about “it-twins”. Doesn’t he fucking well know that it’s “it-twemin”? And who gives a toss about them, anyway?

      Most of us have children of our own, and even if we don’t, we don’t necessarily want to have to look at other people’s.

    • TinaB says:

      Mela tajjeb smajt.

      I thought I must have misheard because I could not believe she said that.

    • Just Watching says:

      You’re hilarious.

  3. La Redoute says:

    Kate Gonzi is not only properly beautiful. She also knows her place. She’s the Prime Minister’s WIFE, not the prime minister in waiting.

    • M. says:

      Kate Gonzi is also natural, and not a pushy-look-how-I’ve-arrived-in-your-nose-upstart.

      • observer says:

        Some time ago, while pushing my grandson’s pushcair on the Sliema seafront, I had the honour of meeting Mrs Gonzi doing that with her own grandson.

        I felt so comfortable talking to a real lady – and have since been looking forward to meeting her when the occasion comes up again.

        I hope Me Shall doesn’t feel jealous about this. Not that I actually care a fig if she does, of course.

  4. Anndm says:

    How about that hairdo? We just loved it.

    [Daphne – Damn, this is the sort of time I wish I had girl company and not just a man who doesn’t notice these things. Classic chav hair. And that kitchen, God help us. Joseph jiehu s-soppa tal-armla dritt minn gol-borma, how sweet. My phone is popping with texts.]

  5. H.P. Baxxter says:

    Peppi qazzizna b’dawn id-days in the life.

    • M. says:

      Baxxt, please do share with us your sartorial expertise about Michelle’s clothes and about her Farrah-Fawcett “do”.

      • H.P. Baxxter says:

        I don’t do ladies’ style reviews. Sorry.

        But one thing I’ll say.

        There comes a time, in everyone’s life, when we must cease trying to be the object of desire. Some people have settled down in a comfortable villa with kids and spouse and pets, and still act as if they’re in their teens.

        Just stop it.

  6. Wilson says:

    One is a natural, the other one is wanting.

  7. David says:

    What a difference between the two of them! Me Shall told us about `the firda politika`.

  8. C Falzon says:

    Me Shall explained why Joseph is always late: it’s never his fault. Ikun tort ta’ xi hadd iehor ghax hu ghandu time management il-veru tajjeb.
    Yeah right.

    • La Redoute says:

      Oh, for heaven’s sake. He was late for his own Facebook Chat because he was watching football on TV and he wasn’t even embarassed to admit it.

    • Ghoxrin Punt says:

      Understand, that whenever something goes wrong, it’s never going to be Joseph’s fault. But it will always be someone else’s.

      I have been told by reliable sources that much as Joseph wants to win, he’s scared shitless of the responsibility, because in his own words ‘the buck stops here’.

      It’s very clear from his interview last Tuesday that he has not thought of what he is going to do if he wins the election.

      I wonder if he himself has actually read his own manifesto.

    • Miss O'Brien says:

      He never comes on time.

    • AG says:

      That is the sentence which struck me – whenever it is reported that Joseph is late it’s either a lie or it’s someone else’s fault. Taqbez ghar-ragel hux, miskina Michelle.

      • Tabatha White says:

        The professional conman is never at fault. This is the perfect opportunity to diss, why miss it?

    • Grezz says:

      Oh yes, indeed! Remember when he turned up SEVERAL minutes late for a meeting with King Juan Carlos a couple of years ago? It was because of “treffic”.

      • vanni says:

        Remember when he didn’t turn up at all at the Rainbow Ward, and didn’t have the decency to phone and let the busy people waiting for him know?

  9. Wilson says:

    Watch the video again. In one part he has hair in the next it is gone. Could it be the light?

  10. TAZ says:

    What is wrong with Me Shall’s hair? It reminded me of the movie Something About Mary and I don’t think I need to speficy which scene.

    [Daphne – I know which scene and I think you can forget it on the available evidence. Dawk inamraw ftit fuq is-sufan biss, kif qalet hi stess. Issa ha niekol ftit selit.]

    • Dumbledore says:

      Ix-xena tas-sperma f’xaghra?

      (OK, I admit that I don’t know how to spell ‘xagharha’ or ‘xena’).

      [Daphne – I believe so, yes.]

    • Harry Purdie says:

      Your response, Daphne, was so, so incredibly, ingeniously funny.

  11. Election Mode says:

    Kate Gonzi is really beautiful with a lovely bone structure, nice teeth and is aging very gracefully, but the thing that strikes me most is that she has class. Something Michelle terribly lacks.

    Sajret ftit soup u mbaghad ftit selid.

  12. Nuplex says:

    Shame to the hypocrites

  13. Nuplex says:

    Crème de la crème – Soup of the day

  14. Bubu says:

    “Malta taghna lkoll”
    Dr. Gonzi should have said that “Malta ilha taghna lkoll mill-1987”

    • AE says:

      So true else how do we have a Labour president. Can’t imagine them suggesting a Nationalist to the post when they are in government.

  15. dm says:

    Joseph’s lipstick is simply fabulous.

  16. Grutte Pier says:

    For even better comedy you should switch to Super One’s Affari Taghna.

    Kemm saru puliti tal-Labour, hey jghaffgu il-Malti bl-Ingliz, taparsi high klass .. u halluna.

  17. Max says:

    Ms Gonzi is smart, polite, elegant and intelligent – and she chose the right man.

    Grazzi, Prim Ministru.

  18. il-korla says:

    X’naqra lipstick faqqaghlu hiiii.

  19. dm says:

    Oh my heavens, he just said UKTAVISS.

  20. Election Mode says:

    Joey qed jitfixkel minghajr it-teleprompter.

  21. H.P. Baxxter says:

    Però rridu nammettu li match made in heaven. It-tnejn tal-hartiet.

  22. bob-a-job says:

    His grandson knows all the dinosaur names the PM said.

    Bet he didn’t know these.
    Vellaciraptor, Ankylosaurus Trigona, Rhamphorhynchus Debonus Grech, Lexovisausus Brincatus. Book ends Torosaurus Abela and Lufengosaurus Grech and future MEP Baronyx Santus,

  23. Wilson says:

    Joseph’s look: masochistic debate.

  24. La Redoute says:

    There he is gassing on again about the night rates for electrical power ghax se tqajjem in-nies bil-lejl, when his own wife said that she does the laundry at night.

  25. just me says:

    Dr. Gonzi said that 35 million euro were being lost each year because of the drydocks each year.

    Working out a simple calculation: 35 million euro divided by 420,000 population means a loss of 83.3 euro per person per year.

    For a family of four, that is a loss of 333.3 euro per year.

    So a family of four would have to pay 333.3 euros per year extra in taxes to cover the loss incurred by the drydocks.

    No thank you, Joseph. The PN government did the right thing to privatise it.

  26. TAZ says:

    First round is over. Gonzi is very at ease unlike Muscat who is trying to turn this debate into a farce.

  27. Sonia says:

    Ramona doesn’t only slip up with her accent when she’s agitated – it’s completely different on a day-to-day basis, simply Manglish.

  28. jozef says:

    Hilarious, back to the nineties to score a point. He’s not ready to govern.

    Gej bid-drydocks.

  29. Cettina says:

    Yes I am, and if I ever had the slightest doubt, after listening to the first part of the debate I am convinced 100%. I am voting PN and believe me, I am so fr*&”*** proud.

  30. Joseph Vassallo-Agius says:

    Gonzi is at his very best. No comparison between the two.

  31. TinaB says:

    The Prime Minister and Mrs Gonzi are a breath of fresh air.

    I cannot believe that in one week’s time the electorate will vote for Joseph as PM instead.

    I despair.

  32. Cportelli says:

    Kelli ftit hin u ghamilt ftit soup – how pathetic.

  33. Tesla says:

    Gonzi’s age is showing, nobody can deny that.

    With age comes experience; something which the “Oh my God, I’m going to own the 1.128 billion-euro man of the moment with this cleverly thought comeback! LOLz!” doesn’t have. He’s very young.. how can he know how it feels to have grandchildren?

    I have a challenge: Can anyone imagine Joseph taking the same difficult and compulsory decisions which Gonzi took during the last five years?

    Exactly. Also, it’s another burden on the taxpayer to have a make-up artist following the Young Prime Minister around… Sigh..

  34. Claude Sciberras says:

    When Gonzi asked Muscat what he would change and how he would make things better his only reply was about electricity. And now look what Standard and Poor’s are saying:

    http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20130301/local/enemalta-would-struggle-to-generate-positive-cash-flow-with-lower-tariffs-s-p.459756

    Plus he just said that one of his best friends was his grandfather’s dog. Must have been a lonely childhood.

  35. Cportelli says:

    Michelle told us that when the kids grow up they will learn that their dad has helped to make unity in this country – the joke of the day, come on.

    [Daphne – Yana Mintoff thinks her father brought peace to the Mediterranean and lifted the poor out of misery, so…]

  36. Election Mode says:

    Oh God. Unless I’m going senile I think he just said he wanted to become a vet.

    X’imbarazz ta’ dar.

  37. MX says:

    That ad of Joseph the human is truly shameless

  38. Cportelli says:

    The kids are back on TV and Michelle is seen cooking while the Fearless Leader is playing football.

    [Daphne – If they’re progressive, shouldn’t he be doing a spot of cooking or washing the dishes or something? Or would that affect his pseudo-strongman image? Ma jmurx nahsbuh dublett.]

    • H.P. Baxxter says:

      As his armchair style consultant, I would have suggested a spot of grilling on the barbecue. Very manly, and technically still counts as cooking.

  39. Soppa tal-armla says:

    Oh my, they even have a fake fireplace.

    Is nothing genuine about this pair of arrivistes?

  40. jozef says:

    A vet, yeah right.

    Gauguin had the right shift spectrum reduced, hence fauvism.

    Idiot

  41. ron says:

    “Din il-firda kollha!”

    X’misthija illum kampanja elettorali moqzieza, fejn hadd ma jista jitkellem, kazin jitkissru, nies jissawtu, pulizija ssawwat lin-nies, gas tad-dmugh, etc.

    Mhux bhaz-zmien il-Lejber ta’ AST, Leo Brincat, Joe Debono Grech, Karmenu Vella u l-bella kumpanija li fi zmienhom kulhadd seta’ jghid li jrid, bla ma hadd jintimidah, jitkellem fl-apert u l-paci, l-kwiet u s-serenita’, tahseb li mort xi party.

    Oqbra mbajda. Il-Lejber postu fl-oppozizzjoni.

  42. Steve says:

    Noticing anything? Dr Muscat did not want a two-hour discussion and the outcome was exactly that! Where’s Everybody have met their request.

    • Giovanni says:

      It was evident that Joseph was going to make a u-turn when WE decided to make the spots about a day with them.

      This brought down the debate to one hour and pleased PL.

      On the other hand it was a good idea as the Prime Minister gave him a beating to remember.

      • Jozef says:

        It’s safe to conclude that Joseph knew he wouldn’t last more than an hour.

        The PM could have delivered the parting shot when Muscat insisted on Delimara and criticism made.

      • Jozef says:

        And Peppi must have agreed to the condition that the PL announce his appearance yesterday.

        Joseph was in Birgu the 19th of this month.

  43. Helen says:

    L-aqwa li ghandu lil Chekov warajh! Qrajtu Michelle ukoll?

  44. Pied Piper says:

    Mrs Prime Minister-in-waiting faced the camera and smirked: “Nixtieq li meta jikbru t-tfal taghna jibqghu jiftakru li l-papa taghhom kien dak il-bniedem li gab l-ghaqda fost il-Maltin” (or something of the sort).

    She conveniently forgot the times when we (yours truly included) had to run for our lives at tal-Barrani, on our way to a legitimate PN mass meeting. Do I hear anyone mentioning someone by the name of Eddie?

    Let’s also forget the independence celebrations and other PN events under Labour governments.

    Of course she and her better half were not around at the time and they never experienced such family events. I am sure that her husband’s granny deplored such behaviour by our Maltese brethren. Thank God for Mrs Muscat whose husband will bring together all Maltese of good will and deliver us from evil, Amen.

  45. Dumbledore says:

    1) Please tell Me Shall to keep her mouth closed while chewing her bread.

    2) I thought Joseph Muscat does not ride at the back of a car cause it makes him carsick. The video is one big fake do.

    3) Aaaaargh a fake fireplace.

  46. SPAM says:

    In the last clip we had the posing by the fireplace.

    The least they could have done is have a real fire, not gas.

  47. La Redoute says:

    Vote Joseph for new bus routes?

    Ajma, jahasra.

  48. A Montebello says:

    Jeez…. I’m overdosing on cliches.

  49. daisy 2 says:

    My God, in all the features those girls are in their bloody school uniform showing all Malta and Gozo li jmorru San Anton School how posh u tal-pepe.

    IL-vera trash, jahasra.

    • Sandra says:

      Now San Anton will have a waiting list too, don’t you think?

      Like the days when Cikku il-poplu went horse-riding and smoked a pipe, emulating the Salvatur ta’Malta. One big joke of a political party. They will never change.

  50. maryanne says:

    Unbelievable. Muscat even borrowed George Borg Olivier’s phrase Ejjew Maghna.

    I can still hear Labour supporters hurl all kind of verbal abuse and using this phrase.

    Joseph borrows everything – hair, ideas ,words, campaign style, colours.

  51. Soppa tal-armla says:

    intuWWom
    iddEEhaq

    L-aqwa illi one enjoys oneself, hux?

  52. TinaB says:

    Stop saying “ma jistax ijkun” or “ijsijbu”, Joseph. You are about to become Prime Minister, for goodness sake.

    Ma jistax IKUN. ISIBU.

    Is it that difficult to speak Maltese properly?

  53. Anna says:

    Mrs Gonzi is not only beautiful, she has what I call a royal face. I always thought she looks like an older Grace Kelly,

  54. zizka says:

    Jien ghandi t-tifla ghanda wiehed u ghoxrin sena, u ghadni niftakar l-isem tal-cartoons li kienet tara qabel tmur l-iskola – ARISTOCATS, PETER PAN , POPEYE, SCOOBY DOO, u Joseph qal li jarahom ma’ uliedu kuljum filghodu, u staqsa lil bintu x’ jisimhom il-cartoons.

    [Daphne – I noticed that too. My parents still remember the cartoons my sisters and I used to watch FORTY years ago.]

  55. Soppa tal-armla says:

    I see Muscat’s borrowed the Energy Minister’s lipstick. What will those cabinet meetings be like?

    “Aw, sellifni your lipbrush Kon, ghax jiena I forgot mine.”

    “Shame on you Prim ministru.”

  56. Mark says:

    This guy is so false. God help us come 10th March.

  57. Just Watching says:

    I’m watching the Labour ad between the break. My God that must have cost a fortune both in terms of production and in advertising space.

    Another thing – Muscat has been saying that they have recognised their mistakes of the past. Really? Then why the barrage of attacks on the film ‘Dear Dom’ by Labour politicians and columnists, some without ever having seen it.

    Just because it dared venture into our not too glorious past?

    A film which if anything erred on the side of caution. But no they only wanted eulogies to those days branding them as the Golden Years.

  58. Dumbledore says:

    I have just watched the Muscat family video.

    1) Please tell Me Shall that one should keep one’s mouth closed while chewing bread.

    2) I thought Joseph Muscat does not ride at the back of a car because it makes him carsick. The video is one big fake do.

    3) Aaaaargh – a fake fireplace.

  59. Stan says:

    Joseph’s face always reminds me of the Cheshire cat’s face in Alice in Wonderland…”I’m not crazy, my reality is just different from yours”

  60. AE says:

    And this is where the Nationalist propaganda machine (if there is one at all) has it wrong. Their ads are about Muscat too. Bloody hell.

    Show us an ad with all the achievements. They need to ram them down people’s throats.

    • Jozef says:

      Agreed. I was thinking about the reality check we’ll get without the PM.

      Kate Gonzi has to be one of the most affable women I’ve ever seen.

      The close-up on board the ferry, specs and paperwork, came across as the true nature of their bond. Trust.

      No need to stage anything, it’s right there.

  61. Cettina says:

    This is all so sad! I dread the 10th of March,

  62. Joanna V says:

    I can’t stand the way he pronounces certain words like “fiha” he says “fija”. Ommi maaa.

  63. AE says:

    So Muscat tells us he wanted to be an artist and yet he is colour blind. There’s a bit of a parallel here.

    He wants to be Prime Minister, yet does not have the basic skills that are required to be a good PM.

    Which is probably why it is all about him rather than what he can do for the country.

  64. CS says:

    ghajjura!!!!

    [Daphne – Uff, and how. I would love to live in a house with a fake fireplace and a cottage-look kcina u l-husband naghmillu naqa soup u selit. And I’m so glad I no longer have to drive my children to and from San Anton School because 12 years of that was pretty killing.]

  65. Rose Spiteri says:

    ‘X’jiswa li taf titkellem meta lsienek mimli velenu!’, cited from Sr Christine Borg’s book ‘Effetah’ page 10.

    Ps:TinaB please note that Dr Lawrence Gonzi says NIQPA instead of NIBQA’ and NIHTLU instead of NIDHLU.

    Please God on 10th March we’ll have a Labour government. Good night and sweet dreams

    • H.P. Baxxter says:

      Li tkun kontra l-Labour huwa velenu?

      Mela hawn hija l-lethal injection tieghi: Nivvota ghall-partit li fottieli zoghziti u fotta lil Malta? INZ********B!

    • Peter F says:

      Does he? Hadn’t realised. He was talking too much sense.

    • La Redoute says:

      Right, so we can all speak in faux accents and wear fake tans.

      I’m already practising my fake press ups.

  66. Grezz says:

    Gonzi, you rock! And f*ck you, Joseph.

  67. Peter F says:

    The Tagline for tonight’s Xarabank – The Fake, the Gentleman and the Poor Guy in the middle.

  68. Mercury Rising says:

    The kitchen, the clutter, the wilting plants, the brick/gas fireplace, the tassled curtains, the soup, the make-up, the English-speaking kids with Maltese-speaking parents, the helical staircase with ferrobattuto, the candle holders, Bill Clinton’s autobiography….x’iz-zokk?

    • Jozef says:

      Yes, a Victorian horror vacui. Life becomes a series of written chapters to look back upon fondly.

      The objects shown belong to someone who thinks these meaningless if not to impart a belonging to a social stratum.

      Ruskin spent all his life condemning the attitude; a hypocrisy in refusing the machine aesthetic. Crisp geometry where truth prevails over social pressure to ‘style’

      An individual’s longing to hide the real needs of a domestic advanced economy will, in the end, refuse the mechanics of modernity bringing it down.

      The lampshade is particularly hateful, the kitchen, a doll’s house. Hogarth would have begged to portray the manifest idiosyncracies. .

      No function, form or anything between the two. No synthesis or abstraction. Meaning is subjective, emotional and irrational.

      I wouldn’t be suprised if Michelle guards her diaries and scrapbooks vehemently.

  69. Jonathan says:

    Joseph Muscat wanted to become a vet. Unfortunately no veterinary course is offered in Malta. He must have changed his mind when he realised he’d have to do his own laundry and cook his own food coz mummy wouldn’t be around.

    • observer says:

      Biex isewwi xi qattus forsi jinqala’. Biex imexxi lil Malta, izda, ZGUR LI LE – anki jekk isir prim ministru.

  70. Gahan says:

    I like those two innocent twins. Their parents would have done better if they kept them out of the limelight. It would harm their upbringing.

    I also like their names – one of my aunts was “iz-zija Stella”.

    Let’s keep them out for their sake.

    Do they go running around at home in their school uniforms?

  71. Gahan says:

    Bilhaqq, Michelle il-mara ta’ Joseph x’toqghod taghmel god-dar bis-sarvetta hamra m’ghonqa?

    Jew dik kienet xalla?

    Imma xalla ma tilbisiex gewwa, u jekk tkun se tiekol malajr jista’ jaqghalek it-tarf taghha fis-soppa.

    Forsi ma nifihmx.

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