COMPETITION: Suggest some more lucrative sponsorship deals for the prime minister and his wife
Published:
December 2, 2013 at 6:44pm
After all, they need to start building up their retirement fund, and they may not be selling much Maltese citizenship at this rate, unless they’re going to be doing it under the counter.
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The US navy is seeking a Mediterranean port in connection with the disposal of Syria’s chemical weapons.
Another golden opportunity for Muscat to make a quick buck.
He could actually save the Americans the trouble and dispose of them in his skip. He’s already got stuff in it worse than anything that Syria can produce.
– North Face is good. Brazen face is better.
– Nort Fejs ghal dawk tas-Sawt
– Windcheaters for dim cheaters.
DUREX – ‘look what happened because a couple in Burmarrad didn’t use one 40 years ago’.
The Auberge de Castille Finishing School for Young Ladies and Other Spanish Princesses – winter courses beginning now in how to put on a lovely high tea and special events for The High Society.
Not hair transplants, fitness programmes or orthodontics for the missus, that’s for sure.
How about:
Photoshop – ‘Just watch your hips disappear’
Mary Cohr for men – ‘Works wonders for hardworking prime ministers who want to keep the shine away’
Alfa Romeo – free replacement and upkeep of the most famous leased-to-self car on the islands.
H.P. Baxxter – sartorial advice on how not to dress. Scratch that. Muscat showcases that already.
Er, are you suggesting I, a poor destitute poet living in a garret, could sponsor a millionaire head of government?
They’ve already done an advert for IVF so that one is out.
[Daphne – Not IVF, but stem cell storage. Do you honestly think they would promote IVF? It would undermine the carefully cultivated virile strongman image.]
Virile image indeed. Does he realise he looks like an extremely ugly woman? In fact from a distance he looks like one of those butch types.
He also has the constitution of a woman, all his weight is concentrated around the hips and legs. He does not really have a belly (the first place a man normally puts on weight, that is, one who is biologically balanced). If he does, it fills out after the areas that would normally fill out on a woman, i.e. hips, backside and legs.
His hardman (or rather hardwoman) image may only work at a bar for lesbians.
Gym shoes for the next filmed weight-lifting session.
“Refalo-Dalli-Mallia Sticky Fingers Toffee Inc.”
By the way, would those who screamed “CORRUPT” and/or “SCANDAL” about the clock accepted by Tonio Fenech as a gift now whisper convincingly in Joseph Muscat’s ear that it would be consistent and certainly expected for him to declare spontaneously, openly and honestly what gifts/sponsorships he has received since becoming Prime Minister?
Perhaps he could even declare what contributions (and from whom) were received personally or for the party before March 9.
Botox – ‘get rid of that vertical line and avoid looking guilty’
St Aloysius education – ‘Once I was a nerd, u arani issa’
Ballet – ‘You too can do your pliés while seated’
History books- “The dinosaurs are still here!’
McDonalds – ‘I’m in and lovin’ it’
Breil. But I wouldn’t want to see Muscat in the buff to advertise it (“Prendi tutto, ma non il mio Breil”).
Diet Coke
Diet Coke for him. Adobe for her.
THE NORTH FAKE
Werhaws sale kbir, Triq San Pawl Milqi, Burmarrad. Titilfuhx. Hafna u hafna barkins. Bott fejskrim tal-Guinot b’xejn ma’ kull gakketta ta’ The North Fake, ssponsorjat minn Phyllis Muscat.
It’s more Mary Cohr. That’s the brand Phyllis Muscat imports.
Durex – if your kids turn out like Joseph and Michelle Muscat, you’d better not have them at all.
Bear Grylls – Who?
I envisage the First Family advertising Music and Singing Classes for little girls at Las Infantas School of Music, Burmarrad.