Ukrainian president Viktor Yanukovych arrives on Monday and guess who’s greeting him? CHRIS CARDONA.
“Hello, my name is Chris Cardona and I am irresistibly attractive to women, probably because of my personality and great wit.”
I can’t believe I guessed correctly, and I’m even a little worried about my being able to think as they do. But then again, these weirdos are so transparently predictable, it’s like a joke. Scratch that. It is a joke, but that joke’s on us.
Yesterday evening on this website I suggested that the press ask Economy Minister Chris Cardona for his views on the situation in Ukraine, as he is bound to have plenty, given that for the last few years he has been shacked up with a Ukrainian woman who miraculously had a visa and residence permit to stay here, perhaps because she has special skills.
Well, actually, he married her recently after having divorced his original Maltese wife. I wouldn’t have used the disparaging ‘shacked up’ were it not for Cardona’s long and notorious history of fascination with gentlemen’s clubs and their lap-and-pole-dancing women.
And while we were all discussing that, I had a sudden insight: “My God, it’s HIM. It’s Chris Cardona. I bet he’s been instrumental in pushing for this visit. Now we need to find out why.”
Then I had another flash (because I told you I’m scarily beginning to follow their thought patterns): they’re going to have Chris Cardona at the airport and parading around with Yanukovych because by their reasoning, he’s married to a Ukrainian so they have a lot in common.
Then this morning I got a text message: the government’s protocol office has released to all involved parties the official, final details of the visit. Viktor Yanukovych arrives on Monday at 12.20pm, and the government representative delegated to meet and greet him at the airport is…Chris Cardona.
The president of Ukraine is going to be met by Malta’s economy minister because his wife is Ukrainian (and because there’s something there that we need to be told but won’t be).
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Maybe he speaks Ukrainian.
I’m not sure Yanukovitch speaks Ukrainian – I think you’ll find he’s a Russian speaker.
Leading contenders for Gaffata tas-Sena (not to be confused with Gieh Ir-Repubblika):
– Manuel (Penalista Prim) Mallia
– Godfrey (Spiccaw il- Kjuijiet) Farrugia
– Edward (Henley Something) Scicluna
– Michelle (Hawn Hi gejt jien illum) Muscat
– Joseph (Tar-Roadmaps) Muscat
– Chris (Katusi) Cardona
– Anton ( Ferry come Back ) Refalo
– Rosianne Nuxellina (Irrid nitla bil fors) Cutajar
– Jeffrey (Pastizzi) Pullicino Orlando
Only problem is that the selection board is spoilt for choice.
you missed one special person: il-kummissarju tal-Pulizija Pietru Pawl (laghqi u stupidu) Zammit as the idiot of the year.
And one massive miss-
John (thank God, O.L. of Lourdes and PPZ) Dalli: I am still Commissioner, free and blameless.
Missed Franco (5 snin jghidilna) Debono
Oh well, maybe he has already met him on various other occasions which were not so protocol-ridden.
As things stand we are in for very interesting times. Will Cardona be accompanied by his wife and will Yanukovich be accompanied by his?
Do they already know each other?
Time will tell. We expect clarifications fl-interess ta-poplu.
EU Ukraine, your nick holds the answer. Chris Cardona plans to lobby Yanukovitch in favour of closer EU – Ukraine ties, in order to facilitate the free movement to Malta of certain Ukrainian women who are unable to afford a Maltese passport.
Not likely. This PM is pro-Russian. Ukraine will never join the EU. The Maltese are just meeting up with Yanukovitch by default. No one else wants to visit them.
On a side note, this looks so bad that this leader is in Malta on a state visit whilst there is mayhem back home. What was the PL thinking exactly? Or is this similar opportunism as the joy they experienced when N. Africa was in flames because we could ‘benefit from the upsurge in tourism’.
albona, you’re assuming Chris Cardona knows that about the Ukrainian PM. And thankfully for Malta, he’s now cancelled the trip to attend to his troubles at home.
Chris Cardona’s welcome spiel:
Hello Mr. President, would you like to meet the Ukrainian community in Malta? I can arrange that. We can meet tonight at Steam.
Perhaps he employed his wife as an interpreter.
More likely an investment consultant at an appropriate salary. A precedent has been set so why not follow it , unless of course Madame MIzzi also takes the Ukraine into her area of interest.
Special envoy, from Malta to Yalta.
There are some strange connections going on there.
Actually Yanukovitch is an even more despicable person than most of us assume. In his youth during the days of the Soviet Union he spent time in prison twice – for sexual assault and burglary – a real charmer.
I don’t think so, Canon.
It probably is an extra income for the translator. And guess who that might be.
[Daphne – Yanukovych is an ethnic Russian, not Ukrainian, and his mother tongue is Russian, not Ukrainian. Hence his loyalty to Russia.]
Oh so we were wrong in thinking she is going to be an interpreter unless the PL did not realise that he is not Ukrainian but Russian.
[Daphne – He IS Ukrainian, obviously, otherwise he wouldn’t be president of Ukraine. But he’s ethnically Russian.]
Yes obviously
Yanukovych speaks good Ukrainian, but like a farmer (kolhoznik). But he also speaks Russian like a farmer, so there is no difference.
A head of state greeted by a cabinet minister. Do they even realise what that implies?
It is insulting , may be that is why the visit was cancelled.
I would say he’s paving the way to send his Ukrainian wife back home on a large salary with perks, as the Malta government envoy to Ukraine. A precedent has been set.
In a few month’s time, we’ll probably see the Romanian President in Malta for exactly the same reason.
That’s a tricky one to call though – if Yanukovitch is met by this guy with a ‘Ukrainka’ on his arm – someone Yanukovitch perceives as a, errr how to put this, comfort woman say, then it could go one of two ways – either Yanukovitch will take it as a huge joke, the best laugh he’s had in years, and they’ll go off together and get roaring drunk – or – he’ll be hugely offended. It’s a hard one to call, it could go either way.
Perhaps we could have young Maltese maidens wearing garlands of tinsel and bozoz tal-festi holding up trays of bigilla and morsels of chicken repp.
My thoughts exactly – diga xebghat minnu
Yes, you are beginning to scare me with these predictions.
I’m looking forward to seeing the first photograph of Yanukovych (7ft+) with Joseph Muscat (5ft 5 inches).
You will not have the pleasure – just heard the visit to Malta by Yanukovich has been postpone. Hey, the PL government is really lucky it was saved by the bell from making another political faux pas. How true is the saying the devil protects his own.
Note the use of the word “postponed” which means we will regaled soon with this worthy politician soon.
Is there a protocol for this sort of thing? Surely a president should not be greeted by a minor minister.
I’m guessing that. since public opinion is overwhelmingly critical, Joseph Muscat is trying to pretend he’s not too enthusiastic about Yanukovych. The stand taken by the Opposition is the only notable aspect of the visit and has taken attention away from the PM.
Busuttil is going to speak out against what is happening in Ukraine so Muscat is likely to try and steal back some of the limelight by referring to the situation before Busuttil has a chance to do so.
The Opposition should publish the main points of Busuttil’s speech because, like everything else with childishly competitive Muscat, this event risks being turned into a one-upmanship game.
Maybe he will be discussing his wife’s appointment as Ambassador of Ukraine, like Minister Mizzi did.
Maltese Foreign Minister George Vella speaking from Kiev yesterday (TVM 8pm news bulletin 5.12.2013):
‘Il-belt (Kiev) lanqas tinduna…qisu ma gara xejn….arja ta’ liberazzjoni… l-ebda vjolenza, l-ebda theddid, l-ebda bizgha jew tensjoni, sempliciment hemm poplu li qed.. .(he hesitates for a second) hafna zghazagh li qeghdin ovvjament isemmghu lehinhom’.
A Foreign Minister of an EU member state, claiming there is ‘l-ebda vjolenza, l-ebda theddid, l-ebda bizgha jew tensjoni’.
The ‘zghazagh’ of Kiev must have had their Nescafe spiked too, eh, Minister Vella?
Are we for serious?
Ukraine is rich in raw materials and about to hit with striking oil in the Black Sea.
Just follow the money.
Looking to get the same Sai Mizzi package for his wife maybe?
Let’s give him ‘Gieh ir-Repubblika’ even though he can’t sing.
The visit has been called off. Most probably Yanukovych has understood that he wasn’t going to be welcome by the people of Malta.
What a pity – Joseph and co will be spared yet another ‘kawlata’ as Yanukovych has cancelled his trip to Malta.
http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20131206/local/ukraines-yanukovich-postpones-malta-trip-over-domestic-turmoil-statement.497869#.UqHNoJHrjCE
Thank God for small mercies though, I guess – at least Yanukovych has realised that he has domestic problems to attend to. Muscat, on the other hand, is oblivious to the domestic problems he’s constantly creating.
Maybe Joseph Muscat doesn’t want media exposure with Yanukovych on his arrival at the airport.
Don’t you forget that our PM is more worried about the media then our economy.
Visit called off by Ukranian government
http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20131206/local/ukraines-yanukovich-postpones-malta-trip-over-domestic-turmoil-statement
Har har har har har har. Egg all over their Labour faces. And a good decision by Yanukovych. Whatever we may think, Malta is insignificant to most of the world. And that’s the way it should be.
Ukrainian President visit has been postponed indefinitely
Baqalu f’wiccu:
http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20131206/local/ukraines-yanukovich-postpones-malta-trip-over-domestic-turmoil-statement.497869
Does George Vella still think nothing’s happening in Ukraine?
These are the same individuals who thought nothing of proposing an unprecedented publicity campaign to divert tourism to North Africa as those countries collapsed.
Violence, in their set of values, is acceptable, nothing.
Actually, Muscat’s brilliant idea was to drive tourism flows towards Malta when trouble broke out in North Africa. That was his only take on the turn of events.
He thought he was ever so clever, exhibiting all the charm, humanity and vision of a peasant looting a palace during a revolution.
Sorry about that, ‘divert tourism from’.
UPDATE…. THE VISIT HAS BEEN CALLED OFF.
Apparently he’s not coming now.
Yanukovich must have heard who was heading his welcoming committee – he’s postponed the trip.
Sometimes I pity Chris Cardona.
There he was settled down to five college years of work, play, day by day, and KMB whisks him off to Junior Lyceum.
I think it was Sandhurst or some other ridiculous travesty.
Yanukovich’s visit has been called OFF.
Yanukovitch must have sensed that he was less than welcome in Malta.
Moreover, even with all telecommunication facilities placed at his disposal by Muscat & Co it would have been impossible for him to supervise from Malta the promised imminent harsh suppression of the popular opposition in Kiev.
Jolly good riddance to Yanukovitch. Most unwelcome.
And have you noticed the poinsettia still in cellophane on the Speaker’s desk? Such bad taste.