This is what ‘power lunches’ have come to in present-day Malta – sad, isn’t it
Published:
January 8, 2014 at 11:49pm
The world’s first hybrid bird species – a cuckoo rooster – has lunch with a coconut.
Law Commissioner Franco Debono was out to lunch today (but then he’s out to lunch on a permanent basis) with Kurt Farrugia, head of government communications, at a restaurant in South Street, Valletta.
The conversation must have been utterly ‘fesinating’.
Sorry to be so scathing, but honestly…imagine, this is what it has come to.
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Had it an opposable thumb? Were the limbs prehensile?
Come on Baxxter, I’m sure you can come up with a suitable script for this conversation.
Well, if you insist:
“…ghax ha nghidlek, jinhbew hemm gol-aquarium, misshom jisthu! Jien ridt inkun biex nirriforma partit u pajjiz! Jien!”
“Joseph jibqa’ jafulek, tibzax.”
“…u mela, mammamia kemm kien haw korruzzjoni! Jien naddaft pajjiz mill-korruzzjoni! Kemm batejt! Riedu jkissru lili u lill-familja! Imbasta Nsara! Ahna lkoll ahwa! Ghand tal-grocer u il-parlament! Ilkoll ahwa!”
“Maltin hux vera. Il-pajjiz taghna lkoll, kif jghid Joseph!”
“…imbasta dawwru l-Prim Imhallef kontrija! Urejthom jien! Minn dejjem kont habrieki! Top student minn dejjem! Anke meta kont tfal kelli—-
“Tixtiequ tordnaw, sinjuri?”
“Jimporta ma tinterrompinix? Jien hallejtek titkellem issa halli lili! Mhux tinheba wara dak in-notebook!”
“Sinjur, gejt niehu l-ordni taghkom.”
“Gejt tissemma’! Ara, bin-notebook u l-biro f’idek! Tichad li ghandek biro f’idek? Ejja, wiegeb!”
“Sinjur, in-notebook biex niehu l-ordni taghkom.”
“Dak baghtitu DIK. Joseph dejjem iwissina kontriha. DIK. Issa ahna ghandna l-power, u nwaqqfuha!”
“Ejja, wiegeb, qisek cass! Qed tisma’? Baghtitek il-blokker, hux veru? Dik bin-notebook ukoll! Issa tigi ggib ritratt tieghi fil-blokk taghha! Tipprova tkissirni! Nuriha jien! Nuriha! Jien minn dejjem top student habrieki, anke mal-ghasafar inhabrek ahseb u ara mal-bnedmin! Seventijn ejti najn! Seventijn ejti najn!”
“Sinjur, tixtiequ ftit iktar hin biex tahsbuha dwar l-ordni?”
“….ejti najn! Oppressjoni anke mill-bank tal-Oppozizzjoni jaghmluha! ‘misshom jisthu! Dawn li jghidu li huma l-partit tas-sewwa! Nurihom jien! Riforma kbira hemm bzonn f’dall-pajjiz! Riforma ta’ nies onesti, li batew, top students u nies habrieka bhali! Mur ara l-haiku li ktibt! Mur ara! Kollox hemm qieghed, kollox! Fader Pijter ukoll qalli li ‘messmi sirt pojeta! Imma jien sirt avukat, ghax il-ligi nhobbha! U r-riforma iktar! Mur sib id-diskorsi tieghi fil-Parlament! Mur sibhom! Fit-tuowownajn diga’ kont qed nghajjat ghal riforma! U huma hemm, fl-aquarium! Misskom tisthu bl-aquarium! Misskom—–”
“Sinjur, l-aquarium nuzawh biex insommu l-lobster haj. Jekk tixtieq ta—–”
“—m’ghandix qalb jiena? Ghandi qalb ukoll! M’ghandix dritt insemma’ lehni? Ghidli, imma ghandi dritt jew le? Bhall-lobster fl-aquarium! Imma nurihom jien, ghax ghamilt riforma! Riforma kbira! Il-lobsters fil-Bastilja! Seventijen ejti najn, nehilsuhom kollha! Il-lobster halluh itir hieles, mela go aquarium! ‘messkom tisthu!”
“Sinjur, barra s-seafood naghmlu wkoll Franco-Italian—-”
“Issejjahli b’ismi, wkoll! Mank Dottore! Iva, jmissni mort l-Italja! U jriduni, ta’! Kelli offerti kemm irrid minn hemm!—”
“Mhux ahjar nordnaw? Joseph iridni lura fis-saghtejn”
“Sinjur, nirrakkomanda l-ispecial of the day. Roast capon.”
Baxxter is into military, tailoring, economy, literature, German culture and now also zoology.
Are you a monastic scholar living in the library of an Austrian monastery?
I am also into cocktails, DIY plumbing, amateur theatrics and impossible relationships.
I am a Renaissance Man. Like a fool, I actually believed that Systems of Knowledge textbook.
I have seen them on numerous occasions having lunch together.
Maybe the coconut was instructing the cuckoo rooster what to say on Miriam Dalli’s programme in the evening.
Issa daqsekk Tony Zarb was having his lunch at Busy Bee at Tal-Pieta’.
He was on Miriam Dalli’s TX yesterday. I was promptly ordered to keep zapping.
That bird has an impressive beak.
Stop making fun of these people. They are very important people with very important jobs. People of high intellect and who will bring this country forward with amazing speed.
One of them will probably become the president of Malta very soon (as his own Facebook page suggests) because after all, if Muscat can make it to PM why can’t he make it to president, as his mummy tells him.
The Fellowship of the Coconut Ring.
A cock-o-nut meeting.