The evening’s top comment so far
Posted by H. P. Baxxter on the subject of the prime minister as seen in this photograph:
In the national interest, since the Prime Minister will be meeting some Very Important People like Brian May this year, let me give him some advice on the Triangle That Should Never Be Seen.
I refer, of course, to that wedge of shirt plus belt buckle plus a bit of tie that can be seen on the photo above.
Why, what were you thinking?
A suit jacket should fit so that the belt and the navel are hidden when the top button is closed. If they peep out, then the jacket is way too tight.
On a man of normal height, it looks bad.
On a short man like the Prime Minister, it looks ridiculous.
Short men should wear high-waisted trousers, and should make sure there is an unbroken line from feet to top jacket button. The white triangle of shirt breaks that line, and underlines how short and squat you are.
I wish some intrepid paparazzi would get a shot of the PM in something other than a suit jacket. Then I’d be able to see his real shape and give him some practical advice on the right fit for his jackets. Because right now he looks very pear-shaped.
Just like things in general.
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Joseph Muscat is intensely pear-shaped. His other abomination – well, one of many – is his habit of lifting up his front jacket flaps and hoisting up his waistband while leaning backwards, a habit last seen on pre-Arriva bus drivers when they alighted in Valletta.
The ‘pre-Arriva’ bus drivers, as many of us know, were the paragon of style, manners, and bearing.
Andy Pandy
http://www.maltarightnow.com/?module=news&at=Il-fro%26%23289%3Ba+ta%27+Joseph+Muscat&t=a&aid=99827391&cid=19
Neckline and chest hair
http://www.maltarightnow.com/Default.asp?module=news&at=Joseph+Muscat+planning+on+leading+the+MLP+from+Brussells&t=a&aid=31412&cid=72
The full monty
http://maltastar.com/userfiles/image/joseph_voting.JPG
The historical background (note the Billy Bunter drape effect due to an ample bottom)
http://c1414377.r77.cf3.rackcdn.com/media/_images/37227-750×315.jpg
The torso, lack thereof
http://cdn.gozonews.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/Joseph_Muscat_Gozo_visit_July_2011.jpg
The stark contrast
http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/David+Cameron+Joseph+Muscat+Commonwealth+Leaders+9knPZ01_az9l.jpg
This is addictive.
The unmade bed effect
http://www.gsquared.tv/News/Prime+Minister+Sees+Off+Gregory/1648
The ambulatory mattress effect
http://www.fzl.org.mt/Portals/0/WebSitesCreative_PostIt/463/b3ac3656-9bc7-4f59-a729-38c6ba2282f5.jpg
The dreadful posture and the non-existent waistline. (No, not Malta’s ambassador to Belgium. He’s the one on the right.)
http://gozo-malta.com/ghasri/activities/activties-2012/DSCF2369_small.JPG
The John Major Y-fronts shirt technique
http://garnaw.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/untitled1.png
The moobs effect
http://gozo-malta.com/ghasri/activities/activties-2012/DSCF2370_small.JPG
The class creep
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-urZ1GPXn99w/UpOo0O2gi2I/AAAAAAAAB1w/wVfHEi520J8/s1600/3212509186-pr2551b-Malta-likely-to-host-CHOGM-2015-v86.jpg
The side view
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-urZ1GPXn99w/UpOo0O2gi2I/AAAAAAAAB1w/wVfHEi520J8/s1600/3212509186-pr2551b-Malta-likely-to-host-CHOGM-2015-v86.jpg
The fig leaf
http://www.sengleahistory.org/index_files/image504.jpg
Notice how he can never hang his arms at his sides
http://static1.demotix.com/sites/default/files/imagecache/a_scale_large/2200-6/photos/2258636.jpg
Malta, meet your newest prime minister (now, wasn’t this a taste of things to come?)
http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/66307000/jpg/_66307393_lncxq797.jpg
http://www.dw.de/image/0,,16662461_303,00.jpg
The oompah loompah wide angle lens effect
http://tengrinews.kz/userdata/news_en/2013/news_17651/thumb_b/photo_26187.jpg
Baxxer, over to you.
Impressive work, La Redoute. Chapeau. This will provide enough material for a weekly column in the Gentleman’s Gazette.
La Redoute, what effect is this one?
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Maltese-Center-NYC/331002843034#!/photo.php?fbid=10151951657898035&set=pb.331002843034.-2207520000.1392156971.&type=3&theater
My opinion is unpublishable, but let’s call it the hot-air balloon salesman effect.
Maybe our ‘young’ prime minister is a ‘sagger.’
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2011/may/09/florida-ban-sagging-jeans-underpants
No. He’s a draper.
http://c1414377.r77.cf3.rackcdn.com/media/_images/37227-750×315.jpg
http://style.mtv.com//wp-content/uploads/style/2013/01/justin-timberlake-suit-and-tie-1.jpg
http://style.mtv.com//wp-content/uploads/style/2013/01/justin-timberlake-suit-and-tie-3.jpg
That’s Justin Timberlake. My Ritienne drools at the mere thought of his body.
But he wears his suit wrong, and therefore he looks like a cunt.
Cut is everything.
Baxxter for prime minister.
You BAAAAAD, bad people! Hilarious mind you.
HP, word has it that you’re an accountant. Can you confirm?
[Daphne – I can do that. No, he most definitely is not.]
I did work as an accountant for a while, but the yearning for adventure was too strong. Now I’m a gentleman of fortune.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NZeOUI2zEbo
Looks like one, though. Very neat, good looking, oozes satorial splendour.
Belay that. Have yet to meet an accountant that could compete with him.
Ah, so you do know who he is, Daphne!
[Daphne – Well, I do now, yes. But his secret is safe with me.]
I can’t see that it makes any difference. Would it change anything if I were a butcher, a baker, or a candlestick maker? The essential thing is that I’m not in politics, and not an executive.
Having said that, I’m available for photoshoots any time. Just contact my agent. Interviews too.
We just want to unfold the mystery! Why not start an HP Baxxter blog?
I’m working on it.