Department of Information release: “The Prime Minister Dr Joseph Muscat arriving for the 4th EU – Africa summit”
DOI photo credit: Eugenio Wonnacott
I can see that he hasn’t got much competition at his side, but he’s terribly unprepossessing and I have the strangest feeling that by the time the next four years are out, that grin is going to be cut into Hallowe’en pumpkins draped with PL flags and pictures of prominent ‘Sliema/tal-pepe’ switchers who helped make this tomfoolery reality, and set alight with Joe Mizzi’s oil.
Note to Mrs Muscat: your husband is too young at 40 to be expanding into Manuel Mallia (60+) territory. Do something about it or take him to a London tailor and use some of that money from renting the family saloon to the state to get him four proper suits.
Men with bad figures and stumpy limbs can’t get away with an average suit bought off the peg – not when they’re prime minister.
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That tie! It makes you want to grab him by the throat and straighten it.
It looks like he put it on in his official car while it swerved round the bend on a rough road.
When it comes to tieing the knot, this man needs Jason Micallef.
http://daphnecaruanagalizia.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/joseph-jason1.jpg
What is Baxxter’s opinion of this sartorial mess?
Baxxter reporting for duty.
As per my MO, I shall start from the top and work my way downwards.
1. That pate is confusing. Is our PM bald or not bald? It’s this sort of uncertainty that sends stock markets crashing and causes global economic crises. My suggestion is to be Alexandrian about it and take a razor blade to the Gordian knot, as it were. A good Merkur safety razor should do the trick. I found a couple in my grandfather’s old shaving mug in the attic recently. They saw action in North Africa and the Aegean, and are still as sharp as Daphne’s brain.
2. Why is the tie awry? Sprezzatura is one thing, but this is slovenliness.
3. That’s an interesting lapel pin. Is it the PM’s 3rd birthday?
4. Now for the pièce de résistance – the suit jacket. What’s going on here? The suit has grown by 4 inches since my last sartorial review. That is to say the wearer’s waist has grown, or appears to have done so, because the shoulders are 2 inches too wide. And the jacket should be shortened.
5. The shirt cuffs are too wide. I said show a bit of cuff, not use the cuff as a mitten.
6. The trousers appear to be cut low. Again. Look, I know something about being short-arsed, and if there’s something that makes us midgets look even worse it is low-slung trousers. Edward VIII came up to my kneecaps, but he wore trousers up to his armpits. Follow his example.
7. Are the shoes square-toed? If so, replace them. Otherwise the shine on them is fine.
8. Colours of suit, tie and shirt are fine.
Overall comment: The first thing that is noticed in a suit, before anything else, is the chest. That much is obvious, because a suit is essentially built around that V-shaped opening where the tie and shirt are framed by the lapels.
If you’re short and roundish, narrow lapels are sartorial suicide. Look at that lecherous midget Berlusconi, and learn. He must be about three foot nothing, and he has lapels like a highway, all the way to the shoulders.
It’s a magnificent sartorial trompe l’oeil, and makes him look like he has the V-taper and shoulders of Mr Olympia. Which makes him look powerful and manly. Which gets him support when the chips are down and the vote is taken. Which means he wins more often.
So: next summit, I want to see our PM wearing a jacket with wide lapels.
The problem is: do you splash out on tailored suits when your size is constantly on the increase?
Perhaps a bespoke babygro?
U dak iz-zarbun! His concern about his body and appearance stop at the level of his neck.
Muscat marx jiekol hamberger din id-darba, hux?
Is he congenitally unable to stand with his ankles together and with his hands properly at his side instead of letting them hang forward like a Neanderthal?
Jo is twice the size of the man walking next to him. Enlarge the picture, and just look at the size of their shirt collars.
Which leads to another problem. If a short, stumpy, chubby person buys his shirts on the high street according to the neck size (what is our PM, an 18″ collar), then the rest of the shirt is going to be to that scale.
Check out those protruding cuffs.
Everything about him is wider, except the waist.
Strange.
Oh look, he’s finally found someone he can talk to.
Couldn’t the PM include a PS for Image and Grooming in his reshuffle? Now that would be a salary well spent.
There’s something definitely wrong with this photo. It’s almost like Joseph’s head was pasted onto the collar of the shirt. Does anyone agree?
What shall we do with a drunken tie? Straighten it?