Forget that TEFL: The Malta Tourism Authority encourages you to send your children to Malta to learn Maltese school-essay Globish
Hey there, sunworshipers! A few hours have passed since I was posting something. But it’s Summer, so as a local I have been taking lots of siestas as advised by the police in their famous video.
Here’s an email sent out by a long-serving director of the Malta Tourism Authority, with Visit Malta’s newsletter. I swear to you (or perhaps, “I can now state without fear of erring”) that I haven’t touched a single letter.
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Merħba, Welcome
A few weeks have passed since I was introducing the last issue of this newsletter. At that time, we were in the month of May and Summer was ‘literally round the corner’.
Well, that is no longer the case. We can now state without fear of erring that the Maltese Summer is officially here in all its glory, to the delight of locals and visitors alike.
The beaches are filling up with sunworshipers from near and far, armed with sun hats, sun glasses and sun tan lotion. Boats of all shapes and sizes can be seen off the coast, cruising the blue Mediterranean on their way to the popular bays and coves of nearby Gozo or Comino.
In the evenings, the seaside bars and restaurants are full of diners enjoying the typical local cuisine: fresh fish, seafood and other mothwatering delicacies.
Some watch a World Cup match on the big screen with a degree of trepidation. Others prefer to watch the festive fireworks lighting up the sky in the distance.
Yet others just relax, engage in people-watching or take in the view. For the night owls, there are plenty of choices from clubs to casinos, to openair parties, concerts and a variety of events.
And remember, this is only the beginning … Malta’s summer stretches well into October.
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Look on the bright side and I speak from experience: anybody coming here to learn English will soon lose all fear of making any silly mistakes speaking or writing English.
While in England you may be frowned upon speaking gibberish, here you are welcomed with open arms in the club of people, who try to get by with English as a second language as a means of communication. It works much better here than in the UK.
It’s the moths I feel sorry for.
Especially when the SWAT squad turns up.
You haven’t told us who or what the email was meant for.
[Daphne – The recipients of a Visit Malta newsletter; this is the ‘editor’s letter’.]
It sounds like those “Yes bwana, Malta is nice” pieces in Air Malta’s in-flight magazine – Bizzilla, or whatever the language Taliban are calling it nowadays.
You would think this country revolved around beaches, festi and hobz biz-zejt. An investor’s dream, my dears.
It sounds like a twelve year old writing a composition titled “Summer in Malta”.
That’s the sort of sentence construction that’s held up as good writing. Just look at the average civil service newsletter, the various glossy magazines (including the execrable The Executive) or any opinion piece in the papers.
L-aqwa li ghandna il-‘mothwatering’ delicacies.
Summer is upon us but as yet no summer timetable for the bus service.
I think we can state without fear of erring that whoever wrote this piece learnt English as a foreign language.
The real threat is in the last line of the email:
“And remember, this is only the beginning…”
Tick tock. Tick tock.
And here’s a little help.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkWMcRlE1mQ&index=19&list=PL3324597409D2CC74
I swear I haven’t laughed this hard for ages!