Leo Brincat’s list of birds includes Maltese goats, and his list of mammals includes ostriches
What do you think: bird, mammal or reptile?
Leo Brincat, the Environment Minister who refuses to say whether he will be voting for or against shooting and trapping birds in the mating season, has given to parliament – in response to a request by Opposition MP Mario Galea – a list of animals held in Charles Polidano’s illegal zoo.
His list is divided into three sections called Birds, Reptiles and Mammals. There is no scope for confusion with the reptiles, because there is only one kind: tortoises.
But Herr Flick and his people have got their knickers – not that anybody would want to see Herr Flick’s – in a bit of a twist with those pesky birds and mammals.
In the section called ‘Birds’, they’ve included 25 Maltese goats, three zebras and one “plantian squirrel”, by which they mean plantain squirrel – a name that would be immediately obvious to anybody who knows what a plantain is and doesn’t just assume that it’s a spelling mistake because in their experience the standard word ending is ‘ian’ as in Italian.
The Maltese goats, zebras and “plantian” squirrels are also included under ‘Mammals’, which makes it look like Herr Flick and his squaddies couldn’t make up their minds as to whether goats, zebras and squirrels are birds or mammals.
And in the section called ‘Mammals’, they’ve chucked in eight emus and six ostriches, which are also included under ‘Birds’. I’m trying to visualise the debate at Herr Flick HQ.
Flick Aide 1: Aw Rodnick, emu x’ iz-z**b jahbat, birt jew memmil?
Flick Aide 2: Fejn il-Mad**na naf. Itfaghha fit-tnejn, forsi ma jindunawx.
Read the list here:
22 Comments Comment
Leave a Comment
Oh dear, this is hilarious.
There are also palm civets and tamarins in the Birds list.
Interestingly, according to Herr Flick, Midas tamarins are birds and white-lipped tamarins are mammals. It turns all zoological classification on its head.
And you know… since a zebra finch is a bird, a zebra has to be a bird as well.
and the serpent enticed with an apple. So list it under ‘fruit’!
Herr Flick, if there’s any shooting to be done, let it be aimed at your silly head.
And, please, make sure no cross-eyed hunters are asked to do it.
If those really are tortoises, then they should not be listed simply as ‘tortoises’, but as red-foot tortoise, Greek Mediterranean tortoise, Herman’s tortoise, sulcata or whatever.
He is one slimy reptile himself. Sorry, “reptajl”.
That’s not all. Tamarins are are also both birds and mammals, according to the list.
Please, oh please, can we get a recording from parliament of Brincat saying “Macaque”.
Yep – Zebra in there with the birds. So magical, flying unicorns really DO exist under Labour.
Maybe zebra finches?
If the people compiling a simple list did not know the information and did not even realize that they needed to look it up, which were the qualifications on the basis of which they were given their job?
Labour’s meritokrazija, no doubt, where one enjoys the trust of the minister but not of anyone else!
Shall I send the bill for a ruined monitor and keyboard directly to you Daphne? You made me spurt my coffee all over it. Brilliant article :) (especially the last part).
They cannot even spell budgerigars.
Interesting reading. The list includes a ‘Praire Dog’ which must be a very rare creature. The common ones are prairie dogs.
Good thing they didn’t include ‘jaguar’ under ‘Vehicles’.
They were probably feeling uneasy about the Maltese ‘Ox’.
Bird, mammal or reptile?
None of the above. Definitely a saurian.
”Itfaghha fit-tnejn halli tigi tajba zgur.”
Budgerigars mhux meta tgerger ghall-bagit?
There’s a prize if you can correctly guess which phylum Leo Brincat belongs to.
Pity we don’t have a decent comedienne making constant sketches of all the comedy created by these nincompoops. It is utterly surreal.
Razza tac-cwiec. Imma kollha jippretenduha tal-bravi.
Ilkoll flimkien: U IJJA.
Thanks, Daphne. I needed a good laugh. Rodnick!
[Daphne – I didn’t invent the name: https://twitter.com/rodnickabdilla ]
Pass me the cyanide.
Sure the zebras weren’t across the road?