The Fat Controller’s girlfriend carries on up the Khyber
Lynn Zahra, who lives with the prime minister’s special envoy to the World Tourism Organisation (the one who has to be ferried through airports in a wheelchair because he is too obese to walk, yet who has been photographed feasting at a fast food outlet and spotted hoovering up platefuls of pastizzi at Caffe Cordina) and has a child by him (we won’t speculate as to how they managed that) continues in her persecution of a police officer who, she has decided, recorded her while she was making a complaint against me and then gave me the recording.
The police officer in question, who in the interim has gone through the trauma of very serious illness, has already faced internal disciplinary action because of her complaints against him.
The disciplinary action fell through when I submitted a sworn statement saying that he had nothing to do with it.
The first contact I had with him was when he rang me, having obtained my number through his lawyer, to ask whether I would testify if asked to do so by the police disciplinary board. I said I would go further than that and give his lawyer a sworn statement immediately so that matters needn’t even reach that stage.
Some of you might recall why Lynn Zahra, who is the Taghna Lkoll appointee to the chairmanship of the Data Protection Appeals Tribunal, had gone to the Sliema police station to ask for criminal action to be taken against me originally. It was because I had written a blog-post in which I had said that her boyfriend is too fat to walk and because of this self-imposed obesity, he has the privilege of a reserved parking-space outside his Sliema flat, on the grounds that he is ‘disabled’. She claims that Joe Grima isn’t obese because he eats too much, but because “he has a condition”, and so action must be taken against me, by the police no less, for suggesting otherwise.
A couple of weeks ago, I ran into her unexpectedly while coming out of a meeting in Valletta. As I walked past her, she said – in tones the mistress of the house might have used for a servant circa 1850 – “I want to talk to you.” I asked her what about, and she said “Jason Sultana, that policeman”. “I have already given the police a sworn statement saying he had nothing to do with it,” I told her. “But it must have been him,” she said. There were others listening, but she didn’t care, so I thought I wouldn’t bother about the audience either, and while walking out said to her over my shoulder, “Aren’t you tired of making yourself ridiculous? As though living with Joe Grima weren’t embarrassing enough, you then try to get the police to prosecute me for calling your boyfriend fat.”
I’m not surprised the prime minister’s special envoy to the World Tourism Organisation finds solace in hamburgers, quite frankly, even if it means he has to board planes in a special lifter and get through airports in a wheelchair (a problem he doesn’t have walking down Republic Street to Caffe Cordina). Those are two nasty people who truly deserve each other.
Remember, dear readers, don’t call the prime minister’s special envoy fat or the chairman of the Data Protection Appeals Tribunal will be hoofing it down to the local police station and filing a complaint against you.
The incident in question happened two years ago, and she’s still gnawing at it trying to exact her revenge.
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http://www.independent.com.mt/articles/2015-02-11/local-news/Former-minister-s-partner-claims-police-inspector-recorded-her-filing-criminal-libel-report-6736130436
http://www.maltatoday.com.mt/news/court_and_police/49501/lawyer_asks_court_to_order_criminal_action_against_bloggers_police_source#.VNtz4SzLKp4
http://www.timesofmalta.com/articles/view/20150211/local/lawyer-claims-police-inspector-leaked-recording-to-blogger.555679
http://www.inewsmalta.com/dart/20150211-avukat-tallega-li-pulizija-adda-tag-rif-lil-daphne
Kemm ilek tiekol kirxa ma dawn?
‘Daphne’.
Funny and sad at the same time.
I suppose that rules out any ‘Joe Grima is so fat’ jokes? I had a few i wanted to try out.
Joe Grima is so fat that when he’s around, there’s no room for anyone to make any fat jokes.
You can still make ‘Bla Kondixin’ jokes though.
Yes, because it’s in the book for Tagħna Lkollers to insult a priest living abroad with all kinds of sexual abuse allegations but you can’t call them something which is there for all to see, like being fat.
Choose ħamalli and you’re guaranteed to get ħamallaġni on a comically grand scale.
Was she one that put Je suis Charlie as her status and to condemn the Paris Shootings and defend public speech at the same time?
What sick people they are. I pity the policeman who has had to endure so much.
Joe Grima is fat, fat, fat x 10000000000000000.00
Now sue me, Lynn.
Grima is circumferencely challenged and that means he has never had any trouble with anorexia.
The sun never sets on Joe Grima.
Joe Grima is so fat he does not need the internet. He is already world wide.
Referring to Joe Grima as somebody’s “boyfriend” is hitting a bit below the belt.
Joe Grima is as fat as fat can be. Sue me too, Lynn.
There seems to be a great misunderstanding in Malta of what libel actually is.
Certain Maltese people tend to get very touchy over a few words.
That is how TaghnaLkoll will solve the issue of obesity: they will re-define what it means to be obese. It has become their habit whenever it suits them: to shift the goalposts to reach their target.
Joe Grima is so fat, when he goes to a fast-food outlet, he reads the whole menu and says, “ok!”
La tlaqna, tlaqna. Joe Grima is so fat he wears two watches – one for each time zone.
Yes, Joe Grima is so fat, when he goes to the movies he sits next to everyone.
Don’t get too close to Joe Grima or you’ll get sucked into orbit.
Joe Grima is so fat, that Joseph Muscat would balance the budget with fuel tax and exorbitant fuel prices if you tried to drive around him.
Next to gargantuan Joe Grima, the Michelin man is a matchstick .
Joe Grima is so fat that he wears a watch on each hand – one for each time zone.
Shit. Didn’t read this.
Joe Grima is so fat he has his own atmosphere.
Joe Grima is so fat that his stretcher to be lowered from a window rather than carried down the stairs.
Joe Grima is so fat they could have landed a helicopter on his belly and saved themselves the trouble.
A crowd queuing up for a Chekhov play in London spotted Grima. They asked him whether he was playing the 3 sisters.
A crowd queuing up for a Chekhov play in London spotted Grima. They asked him whether he had eaten the three sisters.
That was a statement of fact, not a joke.
Joe Grima is so fat, he only needs a litre of water for his bath to overflow.
Joe Grima is so fat, he can pick manganese nodules out of his bath.
Joe Grima is so fat that Lynn has to roll over twice to get down from on top of him.
I think one cannot object for being recorded without prior notice. If you say something in good faith, there’s nothing wrong if your listener records the discussion, period.
Some years back, Joe Grima had a cabin cruiser that he used to winter at Manoel Island shipyard. One day Lynn Zahra arrived with Fat Joe (he was half the size he is today) and she had an argument with Joseph Baldacchino, the owner of the shipyard.
I had never seen a woman swearing and in fits like I saw Lynn that day. This was about 20 years ago and it seems like she has not changed.
Once a bully, always a bully.
That Joe Grima is one fat f*ck!
There is no excuse for it.
Joe Grima is so fat he will feed the entire village.
There is nothing degrading in calling Joe Grima the Fat Controller. Actually the children love this character in the stories of Thomas The Tank Engine.
Joe Grima is so fat he generates his own gravity
Joe Grima is so fat there’s no mobile phone coverage below his chin.
Fat? Good Lard no, it’s just a ‘mhux bla Kondixxin’.
Haha Daphne, you really are the Katie Hopkins of Malta. And don’t take me wrong, I really do like Katie.
It is obvious why Joe Grima and Lynn Zahra became an item. Birds of the same arrogant and obnoxious feather.
Apologies for diverging from the shame-on-him-for-being-so-fat fest but one of the aspects of this blog that I like is I’m always learning something new.
As a late 70s boy, I was not around to watch this particular Carry On episode, however a quick Google and thanks to Wikipedia the reference is even clearer: “‘Khyber’ is Cockney rhyming slang in which ‘Khyber Pass’ means ‘arse”.
Joe Grima is so fat that:
1 Hawkins, or whatever his name is, had to introduce his body mass into his famous equation on time and the universe;
2 Archimedes had a vision of him in a (big) bath before he came up with “.. equals the volume of water displaced etc” in his immersed bodies experiment;
3 Halley thought it was him he spotted orbiting the earth in a future dimension before he realised it was a comet;
4 Einstein never considered him because he was an unrivalled genius.
Joe Grima is so fat that his gellieda girlfriend Lynn Zahra parks her car just outside their flat in the disabled parking space her fat boyfriend got on the grounds that he is too fat to walk.
If Joe ‘ghandu kundizzjonji’, Lynn, then why don’t you buy yourselves a ground floor flat, or will Joe not make it past the front door?
Il-vera ma jisthux.