Top of my in-box: well, hello there, Benny Hill

Minister Owen

This is the best thing in my email in-box this afternoon.

Dear Ms Caruana Galizia,

Having witnessed the distribution of funds allocated to local councils earlier on today at St James Cavalier, below please find my description of the way things happened.

The chairman of the selection board, Mario Azzopardi, in an attempt at proving just how innovative and more effective the Labour government can be, made his way to the front row with a stack of envelopes containing the details of the allocated funds per locality, and started calling out their names one by one.

After a few of the somewhat surprised local council representatives managed to grab their envelopes by crowding towards Mr Azzopardi and reaching out over each other, somebody realised that the unfolding scene, reminiscent of starving citizens laying siege to a food-aid worker, was going to look really bad on camera.

So a couple of Taghna Lkoll aides ran up on stage, moved a few things around, and got Minister Owen (by this time looking a little less smug) back up there along with Mario Azzopardi – who’d somehow managed to wrest all of his envelopes back, much to the confusion of the people who had already opened them.

One by one, the local council representatives then walked up on stage, shook Dr Bonnici’s hand, collected the envelope, thanked him, and walked back down.