The President didn’t leave after the first course at Maurice Mizzi’s Malta-China party

So it turns out that the party at Maurice Mizzi’s house, to which the President of Malta was seen speeding on Friday evening last week in a miasma of flashing blue lights with two police outriders and a security vehicle tailing her limousine, was for the Malta-China Chamber of Commerce, of which he is a committee member.

Members of my international worldwide network of spies who were there tell me that their host behaved in his usual chauvinistic Austin-Powers-circa-1970 manner and patronised Marie Louise Coleiro Preca as a woman rather than respecting her position as head of state.

At a certain point, my spies said, he did his usual thing of grabbing the microphone, taking to his podium – from The Waterfront Hotel, complete with branding – and crooning. (Tell me about it; I was up until all hours thinking what a good thing it is when old fools have children to tell them when it’s time to put a ruddy sock in it.)

Mizzi sang several songs “in praise of our gorgeous, good-looking and charming president” – his cringe-inducing words. Those songs included, as I know ONLY TOO WELL, Under My Skin, How About You, The More I See You and others in that please-kill-me-now vein.

He broke off in the middle of one song to complain into the mike: “President, you’re not even listening! I’m singing for you!”

And no, the head of state didn’t leave after the first course, as she did at Din L-Art Helwa’s 50th anniversary dinner the previous week. She stayed very late –ghax kien hemm hafna tal-qalba u ma tantx kien hemm nies puliti allura hi u Edgar hassuhom orrajt and in that she was just as rude as she was when she left after the first course.

Many people were hot and tired and fed up and sick of their host’s relentless singing and were dying to leave. But no guest may leave before the President does.

Once she had finally left and there was a stampede for the exit, one of the guests asked another, “Did you enjoy the evening?” “Of course,” came the reply. “The cabaret was too hilarious…”.

These are some photographs from the evening.