I’m sorry, but who’s running this show, exactly?

The ceremony to welcome Queen Elizabeth was meant to be held, as is traditional with these things, in St George’s Square (il-Mainguard). The Casino Maltese was even ordered to keep all its members indoors and to make sure that none of them go out on the balcony “for security reasons” (I wonder if Frankie Grima at the City Lounge got the same instructions).

Then suddenly the news was released that the ceremony would now take place at San Anton Palace instead “because of the weather”. Because of the weather? The weather will be no different at the Palace in Attard to the weather at the Palace in Valletta.

They’ve moved it because they don’t want to be doing with all the security hassles and security bloopers of people lining Republic Street to spot her and wave.

But here’s the thing. The shift in location was not announced by the government of Malta – the host country – as it should have been, but by the British High Commission, which breached protocol and showed lack of courtesy by doing so. This is very unusual, and a clear sign that the British have understood that things are no longer being done properly so they needn’t even try and bother to communicate to the government that it should make this announcement itself.

And the government is swimming around in such a sea of protocol chaos (“What it is dis protocol?”) that it hasn’t even noticed that it has just been insulted by the British High Commission in representation of the British government.

In the spirit of Helena Dalli and Joe Debono Grech, we now expect the government to retaliate with a threat of GBH.